Friendship Mein Overthinking
Friendship humari zindagi ka ek bahut aham hissa hota hai. Bachpan se lekar jaise-jaise hum bade hote hain, humare dost bhi bante hain, kuch dost kaafi door tak humare saath chalte hain, kuch se kisi baat pe ladai ho jaati hai aur dosti khatam ho jaati hai, aur kuch se bas kabhi kabhi baat hoti hai.
Dosti ka rishta kisi-kisi ke liye toh bahut tension-free hota hai, lekin kuch logon ke liye overthinking ki wajah ban jaata hai. Dosti ke dauraan bhi hum kab-kab overthinking karte hain, kaise karte hain, kyun karte hain aur kaise hum isko rok sakte hain, un sabhi baaton ko hum discuss karenge taaki aapke zyada se zyada sawaalon ke jawaab aapko mil jaaye aur aap tension-free zindagi jee sakein.
Ab kayi tarah ke log hote hain. Kuch emotional hote hain jo dosti ko bhi thoda seriously lete hain, jo apne doston ke actions se bahut affect hote hain, jo kayi baar overthinking karne lagte hain apne doston ki kisi baat pe. Kabhi koi ladai ho jaaye ya kisi ne unse kuch keh diya, ya kuch kar diya jiski wajah se wo pareshan ho jaate hain, sochte rehte hain, aur khud ko rok hi nahi paate hain.
Toh kuch log aise bhi hote hain jinka attitude aisa hota hai ki: ‘Bhai, Mujhe koi fark nahi padta. Aapko jo karna hai karo, jaise karna hai karo, mujhe na fark padta hai aur na main sochta hu.’
Jinka nature aisa hota hai, woh shayad kabhi-kabhi hi apne doston ki kisi baat pe overthinking karte hain. Aisa nahi hai ki unki dosti kamzor hoti hai, lekin woh in sab cheezon se apni dosti ko affect nahi hone dete.
Aur phir kuch log aise bhi hote hain jinka koi dost nahi hota. Haan, sahi suna, aise log hote hain jo akelepan mein hi zindagi guzaarte hain. Ya toh woh bahut selective hote hain ya phir woh dosti kar nahi paatey, kyunki woh sharmeele hote hain. Ya phir kisi se zyada din tak unki dosti nahi chalti, wajah unka behaviour bhi ho sakta hai. Ya kuch logon ki kismat bhi aisi hoti hai ki kisi ko achche dost nahi milte hain aur jo milte hain, woh sab matlabi nikalte hain.
Jab baat dosti ki aati hai toh woh log jinka koi dost nahi hota lekin chahte hain dosti karna, unke mann mein ye sawaal zaroor aata hoga ki dost kaise banayein? Kya karein jissey log humein pasand karne lagenge, humari company ko pasand karne lagenge? Kuch logon ke dimaag mein ye sawaal itna ghoomte hain ki unka mindf**k ho jaata hai.
Agar baat karein dost kaise banate hain toh aksar humne dekha hai ki dosti bhi apne aap ho jaati hai, usmein relationship jaise efforts nahi karne padte. Kuch log humare dost ban jaate hain, toh kuch logon ko hum apna dost banana chahte hain par bana nahi paate. Efforts wahin hote hain jahan humein kisi ko apna dost banane ki chahat hoti hai jab shayad humein unse positive vibe aati hai, ya humein woh pasand aate hain pehli nazar ya mulaqaat mein.
Kuch logon ko dost banane ke liye efforts karne bhi nahi padte hain. Unki personality hi aisi hoti hai ki woh ek baar kisi se mil lein toh ek aisi chhaap chhod jaate hain us shaqs par ki dosti ho jaati hai aur pata bhi nahi chalta.
Lekin kuch log aise bhi hote hain jo apne aap se baatein karte hain, mann hi mann mein, jo bahut sochte hain cheezon ko, logon ko leke, jo chahte hain logon ke beech baithna, unse ghire rehna, dost banana, kisi friend circle ka part banna, lekin yehi sochte reh jaate hain ki aakhir hum is cheez ki shuruwaat kaise karein, kaise kisi ke mann mein apne baare mein ye khayal jagayein ki, haan woh mera dost hai.
Un logon ke liye khaas kar kuch points hain jinka woh dhyaan rakh sakte hain aur apni is overthinking ko rok sakte hain:
Unke Paas Jaana
Dekho, agar aap kisi ko dost banana chahte ho aur unse baat nahi hui hai aaj tak, toh aise mein kisi na kisi zariye aap unke saath communicate karne ki koshish karo, ek connection banao, chahe social media ke zariye ya apne kisi dost ya kisi known ke zariye ya direct unko approach karke. Jab tak unko approach nahi karogey, us shaqs ka aap par attention aayega hi nahi. Jab tak unka attention aap par nahi aayega, aap unse kisi bhi tarah ke rishte ki umeed mat karo.
Long distance hai aap dono ke beech toh social media par approach kar sakte ho. Koi shaqs aapke saamne hai toh himmat karke unhe achche se greet kar ke, kisi na kisi bahane unse baat karna, ya unke liye kuch karna jissey woh achcha feel kare. Kuch bada nahi, chote-chote efforts bhi count hote hain.
Unse Baat Karna
Ek baar approach kar liya, uske baad unke saath continuously apne connection ko banana, chahe aap unke paas jaake unse kuch baat karein, ya aap unhein social media par messages karein. Ek aisa connection banana jissey samne wale ko uncomfortable feel na ho, ya wo aap se irritate na ho. Bhale hi sirf dosti hai, par shuruwaat kharaab ho jaaye, toh aage chalke dikkat hoti hai.
Unse baat-cheet karte raho, unke baare mein jaano, unki family ke baare mein jaano, dheere-dheere samajhne ki koshish karo ki kis baare mein baat karke unhein achcha lagta hai, kis cheez se unhein bura lagta hai, unke kya sapne hain, woh kya karna chahte hain apni zindagi mein, unki pasand-napasand, unke shauk aur unke dil ke sabse kareeb kya-kya hai.
Is dauraan agar aap unki kisi cheez se disagree bhi karte ho toh kar sakte ho, zaroori nahi ki samne wale shaqs ko impress karne ke liye aap uski har cheez se agree karein. Logon ko pasand hain woh log jo apne point ko rakhna jaante hain, jo apne liye stand lete hai. Yuhin dheere-dheere jaanogey unhein toh samajh ayega ki kaise hain woh wakayi mein.
Confident Raho
Jo bhi karne ja rahe ho confidently karo. Aankhon mein nervousness nahi honi chahiye. Apne chanchal mann ko shaant karo jisme hazaar sawaal ghoome ja rahe hain. Agar kisi se baat kar rahe ho toh idhar-udhar mat dekho, unki aankhon mein aankhein daal kar baat karo, hotho par muskurahat liye baat karo.
Log bahut bura mehsoos karte hain jab woh bol rahe ho ya baat kar rahe ho aur aap idhar-udhar dekh rahe ho, hil rahe ho baar-baar. Apni body language ko thik rakho, itne shaky mat raho kisi se baat karte waqt. Na zyada haath hilao, aur na hi pair. Chahe woh standing posture ho ya sitting posture, yeh sab thik rehna chahiye. Bhale hi yeh sabke liye matter nahi karta hai par iska matlab yeh nahi hai ki yeh kisi ke liye matter nahi karta. Ho sakta hai us shaqs ke liye matter karta ho jinko aap apna dost banana chahte ho.
Kuch Bhi Personally Mat Lo
jinko dost banana chahte ho ya jo dost already hain, unki baaton ko personally mat lo. Kayi baar aisa hota hai ki log humse mazaak karte hain, halka-fulka hi sahi par karte hain. Toh enjoy karo unke saath, unhein comfortable feel karao. Har cheez ko apne upar mat lo, har cheez ko itna zyada personally mat lo ki samne wala shaqs apne aapko aap se kholne mein hichkichaye.
Koi bhi insaan dosti mein agar apne doston ki har baat par, har cheez par offend hota hai, toh uske saath log na hi comfortable feel ho paate hain, aur na hi ek connection bana paate hain. Choti-choti baaton par bura maan jana, har cheez ko bahut deeply feel karna aur loudly react karna, aapki yeh sab cheezein koi dost pasand nahi karega.
Haan, agar woh bahut personal comment kar rahe hain ya kisi bhi tarah ki aisi baat kar rahe hain jo sahi nahi hai, jaise ki beizzati karna woh bhi seriously ya koi personal comment karna, toh zaroor unhein samjha sakte ho ki aap is tarah ka mazaak bardasht nahi karogey. Unko badle mein aap aisa jawaab bhi de sakte ho ki ladai ka mahaul na bane.
Kyunki, jab baat self-respect ki aati hai toh, humein bilkul bardasht nahi karna chahiye aur samne wale shaqs ko yeh samjha dena chahiye ki, woh galat kar rahe hain, is tarah ki baatein ya mazak aap ke saath nahi karein.
Zaroorat Padne Par Unki Help Karo
Agar kisi ko aapki zaroorat hai, chahe wajah choti ho ya badi, aur agar aap madad kar sakte ho, agar aap layak ho, toh zaroor karo. Agar aap ka dost koi musibat mein hai, toh zaroor unki madad karo. Jab hum kisi musibat mein fase insaan ki madad karte hain, toh zaroor unke dil mein humare liye izzat aur sammaan badh jaata hai.
Madad karna koi galat cheez nahi hai, balki achchai hi dikhata hai ek insaan ki. Lekin is achchai ka bhi fayda uthaya ja sakta hai. Ho sakta hai aap hi ke dost is cheez ka fayda uthayein, aap se madad lekar baar baar aapko istemaal karein. Ho sakta hai woh aapko apna dost sirf isiliye maante hain taaki aap unke kaam aa sako.
Toh is dosti ke bhi kayi roop ho sakte hain. Ek achcha dost milna asaan nahi hai aaj ke zamane mein, jo aap se dil se juda ho. Kuch log matlab ke saathi hote hain, kuch log bas apna kaam nikalne ke liye aapke saath hote hain, aur kuch log aapke saath kabhi khade nahi hote aapke bure waqt mein.
Aise doston se door raho jo baar-baar tumhein istemaal karte hain. Aise logon ka saath humein bahut khaali kar deta hai har roop mein. Kabhi bhi kisi ko aisa mehsoos mat hone do ki aap ka sab kuch bahut faltu hai, samay se lekar paisa, aur woh jitna chahein le sakte hain. Aise mein koi aapki value nahi karega.
Jo log aapse kisi matlab se vaasta rakhein, aise logon se aap vaaste tod do, kabhi unke kaam mat aao. Yeh log dosti ke naam par sirf istemal karte hain aur kuch nahi, apna kaam bante hi puchenge bhi nahi ki kaun ho, kya ho.
Unke Saath Waqt Bitao
Doston ke beech mein connections tabhi grow hote hain jab hum unko waqt dete hain, unke saath waqt guzarte hain. Agar dosti ki shuruwaat hui hai toh aisa karne se aap ek doosre ko jaante hain, samajhte hain, aap unhein judge karte hain mann mein, woh aapko karte hain, kuch baatein khatak bhi sakti hain aur kuch pasand bhi aa sakti hain.
Akelepan ko alvida kaho agar ek achha dost mil jaaye aur aap unse gehri dosti banana chahte ho. Unke saath jitna time spend karogey, utni memories banti hain, logon ke mann mein aapki chhaap aati hai, aur baad mein utni yaadein aati hain.
Enjoy karo unki company ko, aur sach kahun toh unki company aap aapne aap enjoy karne lagogey, agar aapke dost sahi hain toh. Galat logon se vibes bhi negative hi aati hain. Sahi doston ka saath aisa hota hai ki hum khud chahte hain unke sang zyada se zyada time spend karein.
Jo log introverts hote hain unhein khaas kar dikkat aati hai dost banane mein, ya doston ke saath time spend karne mein. Unhein akela rehna zyada pasand hota hai. Agar aap introvert ho aur phir bhi yeh chahte ho ki aap doston ke saath baitho ya woh aapke saath baithein, toh aapko apni personality mein thode badlaav laane padenge, thoda sa us dibbe se bahar nikalna padega jis mein khud ko kaid karke rakhte ho.
Agar doston se milogey nahi, baat nahi karogey, toh woh kaise jaanenge aap ko? Jaanenge nahi toh pasand-napasand ka sawaal hi nahi uthta hai. Bhale hi chote-chote steps lo, lekin shuru karo wo karna jis cheez ki chahat rakhte ho. Sochne mein, overthinking karne mein jitna time waste karte ho, utna agar kuch karne mein lagao toh kitni problems ka solution nikal aayega.
Dosti mein bhi kayi baar aise phases aate hain jo humein overthinking karne par majboor kar dete hain. Kabhi aisa ho gaya ki humare kisi dost ko humari zaroorat padi, humne socha chalo thik hai, agar aaj main iske kaam aa raha hu toh kayede mein toh kal ko woh bhi mere kaam aayega, jaise isey aaj meri zaroorat hai, usi tarah mujhe iski zaroorat pad sakti hai. Lekin jab aapka bura waqt aaya toh usne aapko mana kar diya aur woh aapke kaam nahi aaya. Ab yahan pe do conditions ho sakti hain: ya toh aisa ho sakta hai ki woh shaqs khud kisi pareshani mein fasa hua tha, ya genuinely kahin busy tha jiski wajah se woh aapki help kar nahi paaya. Aapki help karne se zyada zaroori uske liye kuch aur tha. Agar aisa hua hai aur pehli ya doosri baar hua hai toh humein khud ko samjha lena chahiye ki koi busy bhi ho sakta hai aur woh uski majboori thi. Agar woh majboori saamne nahi aati toh woh aapki madad zaroor karta. Woh pehle har baar madad karta aaya hai jab bhi zaroorat padi, lekin is baar woh nahi kar paaya, toh koi baat nahi.
Lekin agar situation yeh hai ki woh shaqs aapki madad karna nahi chahta tha jaanbuj kar, ya kar sakta tha lekin usne kisi aur cheez ko chun liya aapke upar, ek aisi cheez jo shayad zaroori thi bhi nahi, toh kahin na kahin woh shaqs ek selfish insaan hai jo apna kaam nikalwane ke liye sab kuch kar sakta hai aur jahan aapko uski zaroorat padi toh woh bahane bana kar wahan se nikal jayega.
Agar aap aise kisi dost se dosti kar baithe ho jo har baar aapki madad leta hai, lekin woh khud kabhi kaam nahi aata aapke, jab ki woh kaabil hai is cheez ke, toh aapke paas ab do hi options hain. Ya toh aap ussey apni dosti thodi kam karo, kyunki agar woh aapka dost raha toh, shayad aapki zindagi mein usi ki wajah se aise kayi mauke aa jayenge jahan woh aapki madad nahi karega aur aap is cheez ke upar overthinking karne lagenge.
Doosra option yeh hai ki agar aap ussey dosti rakhna chahte hain, puri tarah se khatam nahi karna chahte, toh aap ussey sab se pehle toh umeedein lagana band kar do, aur phir aap har baar uski madad karo aisa zaroori bhi nahi.
Kayi baar hota hai ki agar kisi dost ko aapki financial help ki zaroorat hoti hai toh woh aap se ek baar kehta hai, aur agar aap de dete ho toh usko umeed hone lagti hai aap se. Ek vishwaas ho jaata hai aap par ki aap uski har baar madad kar dogey jab baat paison ki ayegi.
Karne ko aap kar sakte ho, lekin har baar help karna usko independent hone se rokta hai. Jab-jab woh pareshani mein aayega, woh aap hi ke paas ayega, aur agar aap help karte rahogey, usey aisa lagne lagega ki aap toh ho hi hamesha uski madad karne ke liye. Toh woh aap se har baar umeed karega ki aap do, aur jis baar aap nahi de sake ya madad kar sake, usi baar woh aapko bura bana dega aur aisa feel kara jayega jaise aap kabhi uske kaam aaye hi nahi.
Hum sau baar kisi ke liye kuch karte hain aur agar ek baar chook gaye, toh woh shaqs yeh bhul jayega ki humne uski sau baar madad kari aur woh is baat ka issue bana ke rakh dega, aur aapke saare purane ehsaan bhul jayega.
Aise log hote hain is duniya mein aur bahut zyada hote hain, aur jab woh yeh humare saath karte hain toh humara mindf**k ho jaata hai. Sochne lagte hain ki usne humare saath aisa kyun kiya. Achchai ke badle burai mile toh dil par chot toh lagti hi hai.
Dil halka mat karo jab bhi koi aapke saath aisa kare, na hi kisi se jaa kar lado ya usey yaad dilane ki koshish karo jo aap ne uske liye kiya tha. Bas khamoshi se apne mann mein do chizen decide kar lo. Pehli cheez, ab kisi tarah ki koi help nahi karoge uski. Doosri cheez, agar karte bhi ho toh badle mein ussey achhai aaye ya burai, woh aapki madad kare ya na kare, aap kabhi ussey koi umeed nahi karogey.
Umeedein kam se kam ho tabhi achhe se zindagi beet sakti hai, aur jahan umeedein badh jaati hain wahan insaan apne aap overthink karne lagta hai. Overthinking karne ke bajaye us cheez par kaam karo jis cheez ke baare mein itna soch rahe ho. Thande dimaag se sochogey toh zindagi mein har cheez ka solution milega, lekin agar garam dimaag se sochogey toh fass ke reh jaogey us situation mein.
Dosti ho jaane ke baad jab bonding achhi hone lagti hai toh umeedein bhi thodi-thodi badhne lagti hain, jaise-jaise situations saamne aati hain. Lekin, har baar koi shaqs aapki umeedon par khara utre, aisa zaroori toh nahi hai.
Kabhi koi majburi ki wajah se nahi kar paata, toh kayi baar niyat nahi hoti aapke liye kuch karne ki. Agar puri tarah khatam nahi kar sakte, toh jitna ho sake utna kam logon se umeed karo. Jitna zyada ho sake utna zyada apne dil ko dukhane se bachao. Woh bahut anmol hota hai, bahut zyada keemti. Usko protect karke chalo, zindagi ka safar kaafi suhana lagne lagega.
Doston Se Ladai Ho Jaana
Dosti ka rishta bahut gehra hota hai, aur is gehrai mein kayi baar aisi situations aa jaati hain jab ladaiyan ho jaati hain, behes ho jaati hai. Kabhi hum unhein kuch bol dete hain toh kabhi woh humein kuch bol dete hain, jiski wajah se humara mann bahut bechain hone lagta hai. Dimaag mein tarah-tarah ki baatein chalne lagti hain, kayi saare negative thoughts aane lagte hain aur hum overthink karne lagte hain.
Kabhi humein aisa lagta hai ki woh galat hai, toh kabhi humein lagta hai ki hum galat hain. humne gusse mein kuch zyada hi bol diya, ya humein aisa nahi bolna chahiye tha. Is kashmakash mein hum bahut pareshan hone lagte hain. Hum chahte nahi hain ki humari dosti kharab ho ya khatam ho, isliye is baat par overthinking karne lagte hain ki cheezein kaise thik karein, kaise hum dono wapas achhe dost ban sakein.
Ladai kabhi-kabhi toh bahut temporary hoti hai, jaise kuch der ki hi. Lekin kabhi-kabhi bahut lambi chal jaati hai aur halaat itne bigad jaate hain ki dosti khatam ho jaati hai. Humara dimaag phir bhi sochna band nahi karta, kabhi hum apne bichde dost ko yaad karke pareshan hote hain, toh kabhi pachhtate hain agar humari galtiyon ki wajah se dosti khatam ho gayi.
Humein lagta hai ki doston ke beech cheezein normal hoti hain, jaise ki ladai nahi hona ya ruthna-manana nahi hona, umeedein nahi hona, feelings nahi hona, break-up nahi hona. Magar sachchai toh kuch aur hi hai.
Doston ke beech bhi yeh sab kuch hota hai. Agar same gender ke dost hain toh phir bhi thoda kam hota hai yeh sab kuch, lekin agar opposite gender ke dost hain toh yeh sab kuch hota bhi hai aur iski intensity bhi zyada hoti hai.
Ladai chahe kisi bhi baat par ho, lekin yeh dil maanta nahi, yeh dimaag sochne se thakta nahi. Kayi log doston se related kisi bhi baat par itna sochte nahi, lekin kayi log soch-soch ke apne aap ko pareshan kar dete hain. Agar aap nahi bhi sochte tab bhi, aur agar aap sochte ho tab bhi, aage discuss kari hui kuch situations ko zaroor padhiyega, ho sakta hai aapko ek aisi madad mil jaaye jiske baare mein aap soch-soch kar neend kharaab kar rahe the apni. Agar abhi pareshan nahi bhi ho rahe the, tab bhi, aapko future mein madad mil sakti hai.
Aapki Galti Par Ladai Hona
Doston ke beech ladaiyan ho jaati hain, kabhi kisi baat par toh kabhi kisi baat par. Agar aapki bhi apne dost se ladai ho gayi hai aur aapko is baat ka ehsaas ho chuka hai ki aapki galti ki wajah se ladai hui hai, toh befikar raho. Doston ke beech ho jaati hai kaha-suni.
Kisi bhi insaan ko agar ehsaas ho jaye apni galti ka toh issey badi koi baat nahi hoti. Iske baare mein zyada overthinking na karke isko thik karo, aur thik hoga tab jab aap uske paas jaogey, usey is baat ka yakeen dilaogey ki aapko ehsaas hua hai aapne jo bhi kiya hai uska aap accept karte ho apni galti aur ab aap maafi maangne aaye ho.
Ab ya toh yeh hoga ki woh aapka intezaar kar raha tha ki aap kab aaogey aur ussey maafi maangogey, aur woh baat ko thoda sa kheechne ke baad maaf kar dega. Ya yeh ho sakta hai ki woh aapko maaf nahi karega, aur aapse naraaz rahega. Agar aapne pehli baar koi galti kari hai aur woh galti bahut badi nahi hai, toh aap uske saath connected raho, usey ehsaas dilate raho, woh kuch waqt zaroor lega, lekin aakhir mein aapko maaf kar hi dega.
Lekin kabhi kabhi situation aisi ho jaati hai ki aapne koi bahut badi galti kar di hai, jiski koi maafi nahi hai, ya jis cheez ke liye woh maaf karne ke liye bilkul raazi nahi hai, ya phir aapke baar-baar galtiyan repeat karne se woh shaqs aap se itna naraaz ho gaya hai ki woh ab aap se dosti bhi nahi rakhna chahta, aur woh tod ke ja chuka hai. Aapke kayi baar manane ke baad bhi kayi koshishon ke baad bhi woh aapko maaf nahi kar raha, toh accept karo is baat ko.
Har baar humein aisa lagta hai ki humari har galti, har bhul-chuk ko log maaf karte rahenge, toh aisa bhi nahi hai. Har kisi ke liye galtiyon ki apni gehraiyan hoti hain, kuch logon ke liye maaf karna itna asaan nahi hota, toh kuch log haste-khelte maaf kar dete hain. Kuch log aapko khona nahi chahte isliye baar-baar maaf karte rehte hain, toh kuch log itne hurt ho jaate hain ki unka aap par se bharosa hi uth jaata hai.
Is dosti ka tootna aapke liye ek seekh hai ki humari kin galtiyon ko log bardasht kar sakte hain, aur kin galtiyon ko nahi. Kaunsi galtiyan maafi ke layak hoti hain, aur kaunsi nahi. Kabhi kabhi saalon lag jaate hain tooti hui dosti ko wapas judne mein, toh koi dosti hamesha ke liye toot ke reh jaati hai. Aap is baare mein itna socho mat, aur jo galtiyan kari hain, un galtiyon ko repeat na karne ka decision lo, apne andar improvement laane ka decision lo, apni personality ko thik karo aur life mein aage badho.
Jo judne wala hoga, woh aap se zindagi ke kisi na kisi mod pe dobara milega aur phir jud jayega, aur jo nahi hoga kismat mein, woh lakh koshisho ke baad bhi nahi judega. Sabr lekar aao apne andar, usi se zindagi thik ho sakti hai, aur usi se rishton ke thik hone ki bhi umeed hoti hai.
Waqt aur kismat par chhodne se bhi kayi baar rishte thik ho jaate hain, chahe dosti ho ya koi aur rishta, koshishein na karne se bhi thik ho jaati hain cheezein. Logon ko der-saver yeh ehsaas ho jaata hai ki ab unhein aapko maaf kar dena chahiye. Lekin, woh tab hota hai jab aap already bahut efforts kar chuke ho.
Overthinking mat karo, patience rakho aur koshish karo agar koshish ki shuruwaat bhi nahi kari hai, thodi aur koshish karo agar shuruwaat kar chuke ho, aur agar hadd se zyada koshishon ke baad bhi kuch thik nahi ho raha, toh sabr karo, seekho aur apni zindagi mein aage badho.
Unki Galti Par Ladai Hona
Agar ladai uski wajah se hui hai aur aap naraaz ho ussey, toh zaahir hai aapka mann bahut ashaant hoga aur hazaar baatein chal rahi hongi is dimaag mein. Sabr karo aur yeh dekho ki woh shaqs aapke paas aa raha hai ya nahi, agar woh aapke paas aa kar aapko manane ki koshish kar raha hai toh, beshaq usko thoda sa tadpao, taaki usey ehsaas ho apni galti ka.
Choti si punishment do usey, taaki usey aisa na lagey ki, maafi milna bhi bahut asaan hai, toh woh galtiyan repeat karne se pehle kayi baar sochega, agar asaani se maaf kar diya toh, woh galtiyan repeat karta chala jayega ye soch kar ki, maafi toh mil hi jaani hai.
Agar us shaqs ko ehsaas nahi hua hai ki, galti usne ki hai aur woh yeh keh raha hai ya samajh raha hai ki, galat aap ho woh nahi, toh theher jao, uske paas jaane ki zarurat nahi hai. Jab tak usey ehsaas nahi ho jaata uske paas mat jao, agar uski galtiyon par bhi aap uske paas jaake usko manaogey toh, zaroor woh phir aapko aur aapki dosti ko granted lene lagega. Sabr kar ke dekho, usey ehsaas hota hai ya nahi.
Aur agar yeh sab kuch karne ke baad bhi woh shaqs aap ke paas aa nahi raha, kayi din nikalte ja rahe hain, lekin woh ehsaas karne ke liye, maafi maangne ke liye, tayyar nahi hai toh uske paas jao aur ussey baat karo. Ussey janne ki koshish karo ki woh kyun nahi baat karne aaya ab tak. Aur pyaar se usey samjhao ki apni galti maanni chahiye aur galti maanne se koi chota-bada nahi ho jaata.
Aisa tab hi karna, jab aap soch-sochke bahut pareshan ho rahe ho aur yeh shayad ek-do baar hi hua ho pehle. Agar aapko lagta hai ki woh shaqs har baar yahi karta aaya hai ki khud galti karke aapko blame karne lagta hai aur aap se umeed karta hai ki aap jao uske paas aur maafi maango, toh zaroorat nahi hai aise insaan ke paas jaa kar ussey baat karne ki.
Jin logon ke liye unki ego bahut badi hoti hai woh siwaye apne relations kharaab karne ke aur kuch bhi nahi karte. Issey yeh sabit hota hai ki us insaan ke liye uski ego aap se bhi zyada badi hai. Aise logon ke liye kabhi bhi apne mann mein feelings nahi laani chahiye, kabhi bhi unse maafi nahi maangni chahiye unki galtiyon par.
Kyunki agar aapne ek-do baar yeh kar liya ki aap ja rahe ho aur woh har baar ki tarah is baar bhi naraaz hain aur umeed kar rahe hain aap se ki aap unke paas aa ke maafi maango toh woh aapki value nahi samjhenge kabhi.
Aise log apni zindagi mein aapki value ko bahut kam kar lete hain aur aapko aise treat karte hain jaise aapki koi aukaat hi nahi hai, koi self respect hi nahi hai. Isliye, chahe dosti ho ya koi bhi relation ho, tab tak jhuko jab tak baat self-respect par na aa jaye, aur zaroorat se zyada jhukne ki aur adjust karne ki bhi zarurat nahi hai bas isliye, kyunki aapke liye woh relationship important hai. Aapki isi importance ka log fayda uthana shuru kar dete hain aur aapke saath behaviour bhi unka bahut zyada kharab ho jaata hai.
Koi zarurat nahi hai itni overthinking karne ki. Pehle patiently wait karo, agar woh aate hain toh unhein maaf kar dena. Bhale hi kuch der ruk ke karna, par kar dena. Aur agar woh nahi aate hain toh aap is situation ko phir se analyze karna aur samajhna ki galti kya wakayi mein uski hain ya kahin aap hi galat the aur uski narazgi jaayiz thi. Agar aap confused ho toh kisi aur samajhdar insaan se discuss karke dekho, ho sakta hai woh aapki situation ko samajhke sahi se bata sake.
Aur agar aapko phir bhi yehi pata chalta hai ki galat aap nahi wohi hai, toh phir uske aane tak ka intezaar karo. Agar uske liye aap zaroori hoge, aapki dosti zaroori hogi, toh woh aayega, zaroor aayega.
Kisi Teesre Ki Galti Par Ladai Hona
Ladaiyan hoti toh hai do doston ke beech, lekin wajah koi teesra ban jaata hai. Woh teesra ek aisa shaqs bhi ho sakta hai jise aap log pehle se jaante hain, ya phir ek aisa shaqs jo anjaan hai. Kisi teesre ki wajah se ladai ho jaana bhi ek aam baat hoti hai.
Aap sahi ho sakte ho, aapka dost bhi sahi ho sakta hai, lekin aksar teesra insaan do logon ke beech mein ladaiya ladwa deta hai aur khud door ho jaata hai. Iski bhi kayi saari wajah ho sakti hain. Ho sakta hai ki ladai galatfehmi ki wajah se ho gayi ho, ya ho sakta hai ki kisi purani baat par ho gayi ho, ya yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki ladai jealousy ki wajah se hui ho.
Aksar jab humari dosti kaafi gehri hoti hai kisi se toh kayi logon ki nazrein padne lagti hain. Log dekhte hain aur unhein dekh-dekh ke jealousy hoti hai, uski wajah ya toh yeh ho sakti hai ki uske paas aap jaisa shandaar dost nahi hai ya yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki woh aapko ya aapke dost ko pasand karte hain. Isliye woh attention paane ke liye, jisey woh pasand karte hain usko chheenne ke liye, aap dono ki dosti ko tudwane ki koshish karte hain.
Jab bhi aap dono ki dosti ke beech koi teesra shaqs aane ki koshish kare ya ladai karwa de, toh sabse pehle yeh samjho ki dosti ho ya koi bhi rishta ho, vishwaas par hi chalta hai. Agar aapko aapke dost par ya usey aap par vishwaas hoga toh kisi teesre ki wajah se ladai hone ka matlab hi nahi banega. Chahe us teesre shaqs ne aap se aapke dost ki burai kari ho ya aapki aapke dost se, baat karni bahut zaroori hai.
Mauka dhundo baat karne ka, convince karo usey ki woh aapse baat kare, agar woh aapse baat karna chahta hai toh ek baar uski baat suno aur uska point bhi samjho. Kisi bhi baat ke kayi pehlu hote hain, har ek pehlu ko sunna aur samajhna zaroori hota hai.
Ek hi taraf se mat dekho ya judge karo kisi situation ko. Agar kisi insaan ke baare mein kuch bhi pata chala hai ya kisi teesre ki wajah se aap dono ki ladai ho gayi hai toh ek-doosre se baat karni bahut zaroori hai.
Baat karne se kayi cheezein pata chal sakti hain. Yeh bhi pata chal sakta hai ki woh teesra shaqs galat hai jo aap dono ki ladai kara ke chala gaya, ya yeh bhi pata chal sakta hai ki aap jisey apna gehra dost samajh rahe the woh actually mein aapka sachcha dost hai hi nahi.
Kisi bhi galatfehmi ko panaah mat do apne is rishte mein, saamne se baat karo, uska pehlu bhi suno aur apni baat bhi kaho, aur clear karo saari galatfehmiyan. Bewajah door baith kar overthinking kiye ja rahe ho, na khud ja rahe ho aur na usey aane de rahe ho aap se baat karne ke liye.
Agar khud bhi ja rahe ho apne dost ke paas aur woh sunne ke liye ready nahi hai toh wait karo, abhi baat garam hai, jab thandi ho jayegi thode time mein toh woh zaroor aapko sunenge, aap se baat bhi karenge.
Efforts toh zaroori hote hi hain, saath hi saath patience rakhna bhi bahut zaroori hota hai. Bina patience rakhe agar aap umeed karoge ki har cheez thik ho jaye, aisa zaroori nahi. Kabhi kabhi waqt dena hota hai cheezon ko apni jagah par wapas aane ke liye, aur saath hi saath efforts bhi karte rehne chahiye.
Aur is sabke bawajood bhi agar aapki baat koi na sune ya zaroori na samjhe ki khud aapke paas aa kar cheezein clear karein, agar woh kisi aur ki baat par vishwas karke aapse door ho gaye hain, toh aisi dosti ka wakayi mein koi matlab nahi hai jahan par bharosa na ho. Par insaniyat ke naate hi sahi ek baar baat zaroor karni chahiye, sunna aur samajhna zaroor chahiye ek doosre ko.
Feelings Aa Jaane Ki Wajah Se Door Ho Jaana
Feelings aa jaana ek bahut hi common problem hoti ja rahi hai doston ke beech. Chahe same gender ho ya opposite gender, dosti aksar itni gehri ho jaati hai ki hum unhein ab dost nahi, dost se badhkar manne lagte hain. Kal tak jiski cheezon se, harkaton se humein koi fark nahi padta tha, ab humein fark padna shuru ho gaya hai. Jis nazariye se hum usey ab tak dekha karte the, ab shayad woh nazariya badalne laga hai. Jab dosti mohabbat ki ore rukh modne lagti hai, toh har baar halaat haseen nahi hote.
Jab hum apne dost ke liye feel karna shuru kar dete hain, toh kayi baar unhein pata chalne par woh is cheez ko pasand nahi karte, unhein achha nahi lagta yeh jaankar ya dekhkar ki hum unhein ab us nazariye se nahi dekhte jissey dekha karte the. Kyunki shayad woh hume is nazariye se nahi dekhte. Aur jab aisa hota hai toh doston ke beech dooriyan aani shuru ho jaati hain aur kayi baar woh dosti bhi toot jaati hai jo bahut gehri hua karti thi.
Kayi baar is situation mein hum bahut pachhtaane lagte hain, khud ko blame karna shuru kar dete hain ki agar hum unke liye feel nahi karte ya unhein nahi batate toh shayad dosti khatam nahi hoti. Is baat ko soch-soch ke hum apna dimaag kharab kar lete hain. Overthinking karne lagte hain is par aur bahut zyada pareshan ho jaate hain. Dekho, sabse pehle toh yeh samajhna zaroori hai ki feelings naturally aa jaati hain, koi unhein zabardasti nahi la sakta.
Ab aap socho ki feelings aane ke baad aap unhein control karlo, toh aisa bahut mushkil se ho paata hai. Aksar ye nahi hota hai aur aapke actions mein, aapki activities aur efforts mein aapki feelings saaf dikhne lagti hain. Woh kehte hain na, ‘Ishq chhupta nahi, chhupane se,’ ye baat sahi hai.
Ek insaan jab kisi se pyaar karne lagta hai toh woh usey chhupa nahi paata. Agar saamne wala shaqs samajhdar hai, aapko samajhta hai toh woh yeh samajhne mein zara bhi der nahi lagayega ki aapke mann mein dosti se badhkar feelings aane lagi hain.
Isliye chhupana bahut mushkil hai, lekin apne ishq ka izhaar thoda soch-samajhkar karna chahiye. Confess karne se pehle yeh dekhna bhi zaroori hota hai, yeh samajhna bhi bahut zaroori hota hai ki saamne waale ke mann mein kya hai?
Kya woh bhi humein chahne laga hai? Kya uske mann mein bhi humare liye feelings hain? Agar uske mann mein bhi hain toh bejhijhak hokar confess karo. Lekin agar nahi hain, toh thoda patience rakho.
Ho sakta hai ki aap se aati in feelings ko woh dheere-dheere accept karna shuru kar dein aur woh aapko chahna shuru kar dein. Isliye patience rakhna bahut zaroori hai, jahan aapne jaldbaazi kari, wahin aap ek achha-khasa insaan kho sakte ho. Kyunki kayi baar log ready nahi hote aapko accept karne ke liye, ya unke halaat saath nahi dete. Agar itna wait kar liya toh ho sakta hai woh feelings aane lagein unke dil mein aapke liye.
Aakhir mein is sabke bawajud bhi, aapke efforts karne ke baad bhi, agar woh shaqs aap se door ho jaye toh is baat ko accept kar lena chahiye ki kuch logon ka saath ek point tak hi hota hai. Kismat unhein kisi na kisi bahaane humse door kar hi deti hai. Aur yahi hua aapke saath bhi, aapki dosti bhale hi kitni hi gehri kyun na ho, lekin woh saath itni hi doori tak ka tha. Ab aap aage ki zindagi khud ko blame kar ke guzaaro, in sab baaton ka koi matlab nahi hota.
Hum logon se umeed nahi kar sakte ki hum jab feel kar rahe hain, jaisa feel kar rahe hain, woh bhi waisa hi feel karna shuru kar dein humare liye. Har kisi ki pasand alag hoti hai, soch alag hoti hai, koi shaqs aap mein ek achha dost dhund leta hai toh koi aap mein ek achha life partner.
Koi yeh sochkar haath aage nahi badhata ki jo pyaar ke rishte hote hain wo kamzor hote hain, inme break-up asaani se ho jaata hai, par dosti zindagi bhar chalti hai. Woh aapko khona nahi chahte the, lekin, ab aap se unhein woh feelings mil rahi hain jo woh lena nahi chahte, toh woh is wajah se door hone lagte hain. Unhe aisa lagta hai ki saath rehkar aapko accept nahi kiya, toh aap hurt ho jaoge, issey achha door ho jaayein aap se.
Woh bhi apni jagah puri tarah galat nahi hote aur aap bhi nahi hain. Bas baat yeh hai ki yeh situation hi bahut zyada complicated hoti hai, kyunki dono logon ki expectations badal chuki hain, feelings badal chuki hain, aur rishte bhi badalne lagte hain. Aur is badlaav ko har koi accept nahi kar paata.
Isliye khud ko blame karna band karo aur apni zindagi mein aage badho. Jo hua woh hona hi tha, bhale hi aisa lagta hai ki control kiya ja sakta tha, par koi baat nahi, galtiyon se hi hum seekhte hain, is duniya mein koi bhi instructions ke saath nahi aata ki, yeh karo aur woh mat karo. Hum galtiyan karte hain aur phir unhi se seekhte bhi hain.
Aur baat puri tarah aapki galti ki bhi nahi hai, kabhi kabhi hum apne aapko kisi ki ore khichne se nahi rok paate aur humein pata nahi chalta ki aisa karna humare liye achha saabit hoga ya bura. Yeh aapki galti se zyada aapki kismat hai.
Aap samjha zaroor sakte ho usey ki aap apni feelings ko control karogey aur wapas ek achha dost banke dikhaogey. Jaisa aap dono ka bond tha, waise hi rahogey. Lekin koshishein bhi logon ko samjhane ki ek hadd tak ki jaati hai, jab saari koshishon ke baad bhi cheezein na ho theek, toh chhod dena chahiye. Kisi ke faislon ko zabardasti na badla ja sakta hai aur na badalna chahiye, warna cheezein aur bhi zyada complicated hone lagti hain.
Dhokha Dene Ki Wajah Se Dosti Toot Jaana
Dhokha dena toh jaise aam baat ho gayi hai. Humein aisa lagta hai ki dhokha sirf relationship mein rehne wale couples ek doosre ko dete hain, lekin yeh bhi humari galatfehmi hi hai. Aksar dost bhi ek doosre ko dhokha de sakte hain. Ek aisa waqt aata hai jab humari dosti us shaqs se kaafi achhi hoti hai.
Ussey hume aur koi umeed ho ya na ho, lekin hum itna zaroor sochte hain ki humein kam se kam yeh shaqs dhokha toh nahi dega. Hum bahut khush hote hain, sab kuch achha chal raha hota hai, lekin achanak se woh dost jiske upar aapko bharosa tha, jiski dosti ke upar aapko bharosa tha ki chahe kuch bhi ho jaye, woh dhokha nahi dega, aapko dhokha deta hai.
Humara dil toot jaata hai. Haan, sahi padha, dil toot jaata hai, aur dil sirf couples ke break-up par nahi toot ta, jab dost ek doosre ko dhokha dete hain tab bhi dil toot ta hai. Dosti ko kuch log couples wali relationships se bhi upar maante hain, dosti mein bhi feelings hoti hain, dosti mein bhi umeedein hoti hai, dosti mein bhi break-up hota hai aur dosti mein bhi mohabbat hoti hai.
Humare jazbaat hote hain us rishte mein, aur jab koi shaqs us rishte ka mazaak bana ke chala jaaye toh humein bahut bura lagta hai. Hum overthinking karne lagte hain. Hum khud ko bewakoof samajhte hain aise insaan par bharosa karne ke liye, khud ko koste hain, aur darte hain kisi aur par bharosa karne se.
Kayi sawaal humein ghere rakhte hain jiski wajah se hum bahut zyada overthinking karne lagte hain. Dekho, kisi ke saath dhokha hona wakayi mein ek bahut zyada uncertain aur painful cheez hoti hai. Hum umeed nahi karte aisi dil tod dene wali cheez ki, lekin phir bhi jinke baare mein hum proudly sochte hain ki yeh kabhi humein dhokha nahi denge, jab unse humein milta hai dhokha toh rona, bura manna, bhi laazmi hai.
Chot lagegi dil par toh dard toh hoga hi, lekin khud ko blame karna koi samajhdari nahi hoti. Koi kabhi yeh nahi jaan sakta ki doosre insaan ke dil mein aap ke liye kya hai, kis nazariye se woh shaqs aapko dekhta hai, aap kabhi nahi pata laga sakte is baat ka.
Humein aisa lagta hai ki hum logon ko bahut achhe se jaante hain, par aisa hota nahi hai. Hum kisi ko utna hi jaan paate hain jitna woh chahte hain ki hum unhein jaane. Jitna woh humein dikhate hain, mehsus karate hain.
Aap sirf apni feelings ki, bond ki strength ki surety le sakte ho, par doosre shaqs ki nahi. Isliye khud ko blame karne ki bajaye is dhokhe se seekho ki kabhi kisi par aankh bandh karke bharosa nahi karna chahiye, chahe woh kitna bhi apna kyun na ho, kisi se itni zyada umeed nahi karni chahiye, chahe dosti kitni hi purani aur gehri kyun na ho.
Apne aap ko sambhalo aur thoda waqt do khud ko thik hone ka. Khud ko yeh bhi samjhao ki us insaan se dobara kabhi baat nahi karni, palat ke dekhna nahi usey jisne aapko dhokha diya. Jis insaan ki niyat dhokha dene ki hoti hai, uske saath rishta toot jaana hi achha hota hai, jitni jaldi uska asli rang saamne aa jaaye utna achha hai.
Yeh toh achha hua usne aisa kiya, warna aapko is zamane ki haqeeqat ke baare mein pata hi nahi chalta, kabhi rubaroo hote hi nahi aap. Yeh asliyat hai, yahan aisa hi hota hai, achhe, bure, har tarah ke log hote hain, aur hum har tarah ke logon se milte hain apni zindagi mein. Kaun pal bhar mein achhe se bura ho jaaye aur kaun bure se achha, yeh pata nahi chalta, aur jab hum issey guzarte hain, tabhi humari aankhein khulti hain.
Dost ho ya koi bhi, kabhi kisi par blind trust mat karo, sirf khud par bharosa karo aur khuda par bharosa karo. Yeh do hi hain jo aapko kabhi dhokha nahi denge, iske alawa duniya mein jo koi bhi hai, woh insaan hi hai, aur insaan ki kab niyat badal jaaye kuch pata nahi.
Overthinking dheere-dheere kam hone lagegi jaise-jaise aapko yeh baat realize hogi ki, dhokha dene wale ko aap kabhi nahi khote, khota woh aapko hai, khoya usne aise ek shaqs ko hai jo us par bharosa karta tha, jisko us par yakeen tha. Dheere dheere yeh waqt bhi guzar jayega aur aap bhi stable hone lagoge apni life mein.
Aaj bhale hi tarah tarah ke negative thoughts aapko pareshan kar rahe hain, par jaise-jaise waqt beetega, jaise-jaise aap seekhoge, tarah-tarah ke logon ko dekhoge, unki niyaton ko dekhoge, waise-waise is zamane ki haqeeqat ko samjhogey aur yeh negative thoughts bhi khatam ho jayenge aap ke. Bas waqt ko waqt do, sab thik ho jayega.
Paison Ki Wajah Se Ladai Hona
Paisa cheez hi aisi hai jo achhe-khaase rishte kharaab kar deti hai. Chahe baap-bete ka rishta ho, bhai-behenon ke aapas ka rishta ho, ya doston ka. Jahan paise ko maangne aur dene ka silsila shuru ho jaata hai, wahan kabhi na kabhi rishton mein dararein padni bhi shuru ho jaati hain.
Aksar doston ke beech mein kisi ek dost ko paison ki zaroorat padti hai aur woh apne dost se madad maangta hai. Kabhi mil bhi jaate hain, toh kabhi nahi bhi milte.
Zaroorat padne par aapne toh uski madad kar di, par jab aapko zaroorat padi toh woh ya toh bahane banane lagta hai ya woh madad karne ke kaabil nahi hota hai, ya uski niyat badal jaati hai. Wajah koi bhi ho, humein bura lagta hai ki humne tab uski madad kari jab usey humari zaroorat thi, toh woh kyun madad karne se peeche hatt raha hai.
Khaas kar tab toh aur bhi bura lagta hai jab us shaqs ke paas paise hote hain, lekin woh dene ki niyat nahi rakhta, ya pareshan bahut karta hai dene mein. Inhi sab wajahon se dimaag mein frustration hone lagti hai aur dost se ladai ho jaati hai.
Shayad aisa bhi ho ki aapka dost aap se paise lene ke baad lauta nahi raha hai aur aap ussey naaraaz hain. Dekho, paison ka maamla zara sensitive hota hai. Beshaq galat nahi ho aap, lekin aise ladai-jhagde karne ka bhi koi fayda nahi hai. Patience rakho aur thoda waqt do usey aapke paise lautane ke liye, agar liye hain toh der-saver de hi dega.
Agar is tarah ki cheezein repeat hone lagein toh aapko samajh jaana chahiye ki aapko kiski madad karni chahiye aur kiski nahi. Agar ek insaan ki niyat dene ki nahi hai, ya wapas karne ki nahi hai, toh usey dena bhi band kardo. Aap baar-baar uski madad karke usey financially independent banane ki bajaye dependent bana rahe ho, woh bhi aap par.
Aap ka baar-baar madad karna usey is baat ka ehsaas dilata hai ki jab bhi koi pareshani aayegi paison se related, woh sirf aapko hi yaad karega, isliye logon ki madad karo toh bhi ek limit tak hi karo. Aur jab bhi karo, toh yeh samajh ke karo ki, ‘Neki kar dariya mein daal’, matlab agar kisi ki madad kar rahe ho toh bhul jao karke, umeed karoge aur woh madad wapas nahi mili toh pareshan hogey, aur aapka mindf**k ho jayega.
Us situation mein madad karna bhi galat nahi hai jab woh shaqs aapse paise maangta toh hai, par samay par lauta bhi deta hai. Lekin maang ke kabhi lautana nahi aur baar-baar mangte chale jaana, yeh galat hai.
Doston ke beech mein jab-jab paisa aaya hai, dosti kharaab hui hai, isliye zyada len-den bhi nahi karna chahiye dosti mein. Aisa zaroori bhi nahi hota ki saamne waala lautayega paise. Kabhi kabhi woh is kaabil nahi hota hai. Uske halaat jab bigad jayein toh woh khud bebas ho jaata hai.
Aise mein bas patience rakhna chahiye aur kuch waqt ke liye bhul jaana chahiye. Uski niyat mein hoga toh woh khud dega, aur agar nahi hoga, toh maang-maang ke nikalwane se dosti kharaab hi hogi, kyunki paisa cheez hi aisa hai jo achhe khaase rishte kharaab kar deta hai.
Agar aapke paas bhi kisi dost ka paisa hai toh usey chukana shuru kar do, woh maange aap se toh bhi aur na maange toh bhi. Dooriyan aane lagti hain dilon mein paison ki wajah se, rishte kamzor padne lagte hain. Har kisi ke liye zaroori hai paisa aur har koi insecure hota hai apne paison ko lekar. Har koi chahta hai uska kam se kam udhaar ho kisi par aur na ho toh zyada achha hai.
Jealousy Ki Wajah Se Ladai Hona
Jealousy ek bahut negative feeling hoti hai. Jahan logon ke andar aapko lekar ya aapke andar doosron ko lekar jealousy aane lage toh relations kharab hone lagte hain. Kisike paas kuch bhi ho, kisiki zindagi kaisi bhi ho, kabhi bhi doosron ko dekh kar jealous nahi hona chahiye.
Kabhi humein lagta hai ki, ‘Uske paas woh wali car hai, mere paas kyun nahi hai; uske paas aisa life partner hai, mere paas kyun nahi hai?’ Jab bhi kisi aur ke paas humse behtar ya humse zyada hota hai toh humare andar yeh jealousy wali feeling aane lagti hai.
Jisko jo milta hai woh uski kismat, mehnat aur karm se milta hai. Bhagwan aapse chheen ke kisi ko nahi deta jo aapko jalna chahiye logon se. Jo aapke paas hai aap uske shukrguzaar raho, kyunki jab apne se neeche jhaankoge toh shayad aapko utna bhi na mile.
Aise log bhi maujood hain is duniya mein jinke paas aapke jitna bhi nahi hai. Woh aapko aur aapki cheezon ko dekhkar aise sochte honge ki, ‘Kaash main unke jaisa hota ya mere paas bhi yeh hota jo unke paas hai.’
Bhagwan kismat se zyada aur kismat se pehle kisiko kuch nahi deta. Aap agar yeh sochte ho ki aapke dost ka lifestyle bahut achha hai aur aap se achha hai, uske parents ne usey bahut kuch diya hai aur aapke parents itna sab kuch afford nahi kar pa rahe hain toh jalne ki bajaye khud se promise karo ki aap itni mehnat karoge ki, aaj se behtar lifestyle banaogey, aaj se behtar wealth banaogey, apne parents ko bhi proud feel karaogey aur khud ko bhi proud feel karaogey.
Insaan gareeb paida ho jaaye toh uski koi galti nahi hoti, lekin aisa zaroori nahi ki woh gareeb hi marey. Har kisi ke paas din mein chaubis ghante hote hain. Ab yeh aap ke upar hai ki, aap kaise apne chaubis ghante istemaal karte ho. Un ghanton mein aap kis taraf, kin baaton mein dhyaan lagate ho. Insaan ki soch agar ameer hai toh woh bhi ek na ek din ameer ban jaata hai, aur ameeri sirf paise se nahi, balki ek achcha insaan banne se aati hai.
Agar jealousy aapko nahi aapke dost ko hai aapse aur unhi ki jealousy ki wajah se aap dono ke beech mein ladai ho gayi, usne kuch aisa kar diya jalan se jisse ladai ho gayi toh itna bhadakna nahi chahiye. Jalan kisi ko bhi ho sakti hai, jiske paas kisi cheez ki kami ho aur aap ke paas us cheez ki quantity ya quality bahut achhi ho toh insaan kahin na kahin mann mein jealous feel karta hi hai.
Aap aise logon ko ignore karo toh hi behtar hai, react karne se aap uski jalan khatam nahi kar sakte. React karne se roko apne aapko tarah-tarah ki situations mein, koshish karo apne ashaant mann ko shaant karne ki, us par kaabu paane ki.
Doosron ki feelings ko hum control nahi kar sakte, jo aapke baare mein jaisa sochta hai woh sochega, aap usey rok nahi sakte kuch sochne ya mehsus karne se. Bas aapko khud itna samajhdar banna hai ki aap kisi ki kisi bhi baat par itna zyada react na karo, khaas kar tab toh bilkul nahi jab wajah jealousy ho.
Overthinking mat karo aur apne mann ko shaant karo. Umeed hai yeh sab sunke aapko itni akal toh aa hi gayi hogi ki soch par kaabu paane ke liye apni feelings par kaabu paana zaroori hai. Sochta insaan tab zyada hai jab koi cheez feel karta hai. Feelings ko control karo, khaas kar tab to bilkul karo jab koi negative reaction ya to ho chuka hota hai ya hone wala hota hai, apne aap mann aur dimaag shaant ho jayega.
Burai Karne ki Wajah se Ladai Hona
Agar kisi ne aapki burai kar di hai aapke kisi dost se, ya aapke dost ne kisi se aapki burai kar di hai, toh itna dhyaan mat do. Jitne log hote hain duniya mein utni tarah ki baatein banate hain aur utni tarah ki soch bhi rakhte hain.
Kisi ki burai karne wala khud kabhi achha nahi hota. Log burai tab karte hain jab woh aapki barabari na kar sakein, jab woh aap se jealous feel karte hain, jab unhein aapke jaisa toh banna hota hai, lekin woh aapko gira kar khud uthna chahte hain aur jab koi aap se aage nikalna chahta hai.
Koi bhi shaqs kisi ki bhi burai bewajah nahi karta. Par wajah yeh nahi hoti hai ki aap wakayi mein ek bure insaan ho. Wajah yeh bhi hoti hai ki unhein aap dil se achhe nahi lagte aur kahin na kahin woh aap se jealous feel karte hain. Kisi ki burai humein bura nahi banati, duniya burai kare tab bhi hum bure nahi bante, bure hum bante hain apne karmo se, apni soch se, jisey sudhara ja sakta hai aur thik kiya ja sakta hai.
Shayad aapke kuch dost aise hain jo aapke saamne toh bahut achhe bante hain, lekin aapki peeth peeche aapki bahut buraiyan karte hain, taaki logon se aapke rishte kamzor ho jayein aur jiska fayda woh utha sakein. Aise doston se doori banana shuru kar do, kisi bhi tarah ki negativity ko zabardasti apni zindagi mein mat rakho, apni zindagi ko jitna zyada saaf-suthra rakhogey, aapki soch bhi saaf rahegi aur aapki zindagi mein khushiyan aur shaanti bani rahengi.
Sabse zyada ashaanti failaane wale bhi ‘log’ hi hote hain, jo bhi negative log hote hain unko apni zindagi mein panaah nahi deni chahiye warna, hum khud bhi unke jaise hone lagte hain.
Apni buraiyan sun ke humein bura toh lagta hai, khaas kar woh baatein jo sach hoti bhi nahi hain, par khud socho, kya aap logon ko buraiyan karne se rok sakte ho? Jitna aap dikhaogey ki aapko fark padta hai logon ki buraiyon se, log utna pareshan karenge aapko, utni baatein karenge aapke baare mein.
Agar unhein attention dete rahogey toh woh log woh cheez karne se rukenge nahi, kyunki unka maqsad hi hota hai pareshan karna aapko. Unhein attention dena band kardo, ek din ayega jab woh chup ho jayenge aur phir na aapko aur na unhein koi fark padega.
Bas, yeh samajh lena ki jo aapki peeth peeche aapki burai kare, woh insaan aap ka apna nahi ho sakta kabhi, na ek achha dost bann sakta aur na hi ek achha humsafar. Aise insaan se kabhi na toh koi umeed rakhna aur na hi koi rishta.
Agar aapko lagta hai ki aapke andar himmat nahi hai aise rishton ko khatam karne ki toh dheere-dheere unke saath rehna band kar do, unse baat karna band kardo aur dheere-dheere unki zindagi se door ho jao.
Maqsad aise logon ko apni zindagi se nikalna hota hai, ya toh aap unki zindagi se nikal jao ya unhein apni zindagi se nikaal do, bas maqsad pura hona chahiye. Logon se umeed karna ki woh bhi humari tarah sochein ya humse waise hi behave karein jaise hum unke saath karte hain waste hota hai. Kyunki aap apne aap mein bahut unique aur bahut special ho, har koi aap ke jaisa na soch sakta hai aur na behave kar sakta hai.
Achhe dost zaroor mil jaate hain, lekin sab achhe nahi hote, kis ke dil mein kya chal raha hai, kaun aapko lekar kya soch rakhta hai, kaisa feel karta hai, yeh aapko pata nahi chalta. Woh waisa hi dikhate hain khudko, utna hi dikhate hain khudko jitna woh chahte hain ki aap dekhein unhein. Isliye kisi ki achhai par itna bhi bharosa mat karna ki uske saath aati uski burai ko nazarandaaz karte chale jao.
Apne mann ko shaant karo aur aise shaqs se koi ladai karne ki zarurat nahi hai agar woh aap ke baare mein kisi se burai karta hai. Na toh aise shaqs se kabhi rishte gehre karo, aur na hi unse kisi bhi tarah ki koi umeed karo. Dekhna, mann bahut shaant mehsus karega. Sabse shandaar mantra hai yeh khush-haal zindagi jeene ka, na kisi se zaroorat se zyada attach ho aur na zaroorat se zyada umeed karo.
Jhooth ki Wajah se Ladai Hona
Jhooth achhe-khaase rishte ko khokhla karne lagta hai. Jahan hum logon se jhooth bolna shuru kar dete hain, hum unhe khud se door karne lagte hain. Aur yahi unke saath bhi hota hai—jahan woh jhooth bolna shuru kar dein, woh humein unse door karne lagte hain.
Dosti kuch logon ke liye bahut sensitive aur bahut serious relationship hoti hai. Kisi ke saath dosti hona aur us dosti ka gehra hona, is rishte ko bahut majboot bana deta hai. Aur jab humara khaas dost humse jhooth bole, koi chota-mota jhooth nahi, kaafi bada jhooth, toh humare andar gussa bhi aa jaata hai aur hum kayi baar lad bhi jaate hain usse.
Dekho, dosti mein sabr rakhna bahut zaroori hota hai, us sabr se hi hum apne aas-paas shaanti aur khushi banake rakhte hain. Negative baatein humein zyada affect na karein, hum yahi koshish karte hain. Agar humse koi jhooth bol de, aur maan le ki usne jhooth bola hai, toh ek baar ko usey sun lena chahiye ki, usne jhooth kyun bola. Kyunki kayi baar log aisi situation mein fass jaate hain ki unhein jhooth bolna padta hai us se bahar nikalne ke liye.
Agar usko sunne ke baad aapko aisa lagta hai ki haan, usne jhooth bol kar sahi kiya warna cheezein aur bhi zyada complicated ho jaati, toh aise mein us shaqs ko maaf kar dena chahiye aur life mein aage badhna chahiye. Jhooth bolna beshaq galat hai, par agar kisi ki niyat thik ho toh usey samajhna chahiye aur ussey keh dena chahiye ki yeh cheez aage se na ho.
Agar kisi ke jhooth badhte ja rahe hain toh aapko haq hai us shaqs se apni dosti khatam karne ka, kyunki zaroorat se zyada jhoothe insaan se kisi bhi tarah ka rishta rakhna sahi nahi hota humari mental health ke liye. Logon ka jhooth bolna humein bahut affect karta hai mentally, kyunki hum bahut zyada sochne lagte hain is baare mein.
Overthinking karne se behtar hai communicate karna aur janne ki koshish karna ki saamne wale ke mann mein kya hai, kyun jhooth bola usne, kya woh reason genuine hai ya woh bas farzi baatein kar rahe hain aapko manane ke liye. Baat karne se zyadatar problems ke solutions mil jaate hain.
Ab agar situation ulti hai ki usne aap se nahi, aapne ussey jhooth bol diya hai aur usey pata bhi chal gaya hai toh aapko sabse pehle yeh samajhna chahiye ki aapne galti ki hai. Choti-moti nahi, bahut badi galti ki hai. Aur bhale hi aap usey manaoge, samjhane ki koshish karogey, yakeen dilaogey ki aapne jhooth kyun bola, kyun majboor ho gaye the aap jhooth bolne ke liye, aur tab agar aap sach bhi bologey toh bhi woh insaan shayad aapko maaf na kare.
Aksar hum yeh nahi samajh paate ki logon ke liye kaunsi cheez kitni badi hai aur kitni nahi. Jhooth bolne par maafi milna ek aam baat samajhte hain log, isiliye himmat bhi kar lete hain jhooth bolne ki, lekin har baar hamesha aisa nahi hota. Kisi-kisi ke liye jhooth bolna ek jurm jaisa hota hai, jo woh bilkul bardaasht nahi kar paate aur apne rishton ko khatam kar dete hain usi point pe.
Aise log aksar friendship ho ya koi or relationship, hamesha bata dete hain shuruwaat mein hi ki unhein jhooth bolne wale log pasand nahi hain, jhooth se nafrat hai, aur humein us cheez ko for granted kabhi nahi lena chahiye. Kyunki, jhooth mein itni taqat hoti hai ki woh achhe-khaase rishton ko khatam kar dete hai pal bhar mein hi.
Ab jo agar jhooth bol diya hai toh manane ke alawa aap kuch nahi kar sakte. Yeh toh logon ke haath mein hota hai ki woh aapko dobara accept karein ya nahi. Yahan pe logon ko impress karne se kuch nahi hota, special feel karane se kuch nahi hota, unka aap par bharosa hona hi unke liye special feel hone jaisa tha. Ab agar bharosa tod diya hai aapne toh kisi aur tareeke se special feel nahi kara sakte.
Unse waqt maangiye, unse chances maangiye, aur maangne ke saath-saath sabr karna bahut zaroori hai. Agar sabr rakh sakte ho toh phir bhi ek baar ko haasil kar loge unse us rishte ko jo toot gaya, lekin agar sabr nahi hai toh unhein puri tarah kho dogey.
Bina Wajah Door ho Jaana
Ladai hone par dosti khatam ho jaana aam baat hai, kisi baat ka bura lag jaane par dosti khatam ho jaana bhi aam baat hai, propose karne par dosti khatam ho jaana bhi bahut sunne ko aur dekhne ko milta hai. Par tab kya hoga jab aapko wajah hi na pata chale dosti khatam ho jaane ki?
Matlab jis insaan se kuch waqt pehle tak toh sab sahi tha, par jaise-jaise waqt beeta dosti kahin gum si ho gayi. Na zyada baat hoti hai, na milna hota hai, pehle waqt guzara karte the sang, par na jaane kyun ab na koi text aata hai aur na hi koi call, jaise apni-apni zindagi mein aage badh gaye.
Kabhi toh yeh one-sided hota hai, toh kabhi two-sided bhi hota hai. Kabhi aisa hota hai ki dono apni life mein aage badh gaye aur apne-apne mein busy ho gaye, studies, career, aur apne aapko successful banane mein. Toh kabhi yeh bhi hota hai ki koi ek aage badh jaata hai aur doosra baitha hua yahi sochta reh jaata hai ki ‘Ab woh baat kyun nahi karte?’
Hum soch mein pad jaate hain ki kyun ek insaan ka behaviour humare liye change hone laga? Kyun kal tak humko ek achha dost samajhne wala shaqs ab baat bhi nahi karta? Hafte, mahine beet gaye, lekin ab ussey koi baat hi nahi hoti.
Jaanne ki koshish bhi karo tab bhi kabhi koi khaas jawaab nahi milta aise logon se. Yeh sab baatein soch-soch kar mindf**k hone lagta hai, khud par doubts hote hain, doosron ke liye kayi sawaal hote hain par jawaab dhundne se bhi kahin nahi milta.
Hum khud par doubt karne lagte hain ki kya humse koi galti hui? Kya hum kahin galat the? Kya humari kisi baat ka bura maan gaya woh? Aise kayi sawaal hum khud se bhi karte hain, par waqt nikalta chala jaata hai, lekin koi jawaab nahi milta.
Dekho, door hone ki wajah hamesha hoti hai. Aisa kabhi nahi hota ki koi aap se door ho jaaye aur uski koi wajah nahi ho. Jo pata chale sirf wahi wajah nahi hoti; door jaane wala shaqs aksar apne saath ye raaz bhi le jaata hai ki aakhir wo door hua kyun. Kayi reasons ho sakte hain uske aisa karne ke.
Yeh ho sakta hai ki uski kisi aur se dosti ho gayi, aur woh dosti bhi gehri hoti chali gayi waqt ke saath-saath, aur uske liye ab aap itne zaroori nahi rahe. Aksar log humein replace kar dete hain, jis jagah unhone humein rakha tha apni zindagi mein ab woh jagah woh kisi aur ko de chuke hote hain. Yeh hota hai aur yeh sach hai, hum sab ka koi na koi replacement hota hai aur ho sakta hai.
Ab koi kisi ko directly yeh nahi batata ki usne aapko kisi se replace kar diya hai. Log chup chaap us dosti ko khatam kar dete hain aur aage badh jaate hain apni nayi dost ke saath. Chhod jaate hain toh bas yaadein aur kissey, aur bura is baat ka lagta hai ki unhe koi fark bhi nahi padta.
Ek wajah yeh bhi hoti hai ki usey aapke baare mein kuch pata chala ho, jis cheez ko usne aap se discuss karna ya saamne se confirm karna zaroori nahi samjha. Waise toh yeh bahut hi kharab tareeka hai dosti todne ka, lekin aisa bhi hota hai. Kisi ne uske kaan bhar diye ho aapke khilaaf, ya kisi ne aap dono ki dosti todne ke chakkar mein usko aapke khilaaf khoob bhadka diya ho, aur ussey bhi itna nahi hua ki woh saamne se aakar baat kare is baare mein. Kisi ko kuch bhi pata chale teesre se toh hamesha us insaan se ek baar baat karni chahiye jiske baare mein pata chala hai.
Apni dosti ko aur apne bharose ko itna kamzor bhi nahi banana chahiye jo aap kisi teesre ke bhadkaane se bhadak jayein aur negative actions bhi lene lage us dosti ke khilaaf. Agar unhone aisa kiya hai toh aapko obviously nahi pata chalega ki wajah kya thi unke door hone ki.
Ek baat yahan par kehna chahunga. Log aksar kya karte hain ki jab unke dost unse door hone lagte hain bewajah toh woh ego mein aa kar baat nahi karte unse, yeh soch kar ki ‘Agar usey fark nahi pad raha toh main bhi kyun karun?’
Dekho, agar aapko wakayi mein fark nahi pad raha hota toh aap shayad kabhi itni baat sochte bhi nahi. Lekin kyunki aap soch rahe ho aur aapko fark bhi pad raha hai toh ek baar unse baat zaroor karne ki koshish karna apne satisfaction ke liye, taaki aapka dimaag shaant ho sake jo itni overthinking kar raha hain.
Kya pata issey aapko aapke sawaalon ka jawaab mil jaye. Kayi baar saamne wala shaqs bhi aap hi ka intezaar kar raha hota hai yeh soch kar ki agar aap aaogey toh thik warna woh bhi nahi aayega. Koi izzat kam nahi ho jaati, koi self-respect par baat nahi aati kisi ke paas ek baar ja kar itna poochne mein ki, ‘Ab baat kyun nahi karte ho?’ Lekin, aisa karne se ek raasta zaroor mil jaata hai negative thoughts ko dimaag se bahar nikalne ka.
Bewajah door hone ki ek wajah yeh bhi ho sakti hai ki woh insaan apni life mein aage badh gaya. Uski priorities alag hain, uski priorities relationships bana kar chalna nahi balki apne dreams or apne goals ko achieve karna hai. Har koi rishton ko itna seriously nahi leta, dosti ke rishte toh aise hote hain ki saalon-saal baat nahi hoti, phir bhi jab milte hain toh aise milte hain jaise wahi purane dost ho, toh har kisi ke liye dosti ke maayine alag hain.
Har insaan ko haq hai apne tareeke se zindagi jeene ka, lekin hum yeh bhul jaate hain ki kisi bhi rishte ki taraf humari kuch zimmedariya hoti hain, choti hi sahi par hoti zaroor hain. Jab hum un zimmedariyon se chookte hain, tabhi hum khud ya humare dost humari wajah se hurt hote hain.
Aise log jo relationships ko priority nahi dete, unse umeed kabhi nahi karni chahiye ki woh waise hi rahein humse jaise hum unke saath rehte hain. Unki zindagi aur unki soch kaafi alag hoti hai humse. Aur agar is tarah koi aap se door ho raha hai toh usey ho jaane do, na uska peecha karo, na usey rokne ki koshish karo, aur na hi ussey dil lagane ki koshish karo. Aap jitna tez unke peeche bhagogey, woh utna aage nikalte chale jayenge. Isliye kisi ka aana accept karte ho toh kisi ka jaana bhi accept karna seekho.
Zyada overthinking karke apna mindf**k mat karo. Har kisi ki apni priorities hoti hain. Agar kisi ki aap nahi ho toh koi baat nahi, kisi ko force nahi kar sakte hum ki woh humein apni priority banayein. Jaise logon ki apni priorities hoti hain, aapko bhi zaroorat hai apni priorities change karne ki taaki aap logon se umeed karke, logon mein khushiya dhundke, dukhi na ho.
Doston se judi kisi bhi baat par utna soch-vichaar karo jitna zaroori hai. Kisi bhi baat ko lekar itna mat socho ki woh baat kuch na ho kar bhi aapko bahut kuch lagne lage. Choti-choti baaton ko hum zaroorat se zyada soch kar bahut bada bana lete hain. Apne mind ko is tarah train karo ki woh yeh samajh paaye ki choti baat kaunsi hai aur badi baat kaunsi hai, sahi baat kaunsi hai aur galat baat kaunsi hai.
Jab yeh difference samajh aane lagega, toh har sawaal ka jawaab bhi milne lagenge aur reactions par bhi control ho payega. Yeh sab cheezein humein koi nahi balki humari life ke experiences hi sikhate hain. Hum jaise-jaise jo-jo experience karte hain apni life mein, waise-waise hum mature hote hain aur humein samajh aane lagta hai ki kaunsi problem ke saath kaise deal karna hai, kaunsi baaton ko lekar kitna sochna hai, aur kaunsi baaton ko nazarandaaz karna hai.
Jo achhe dost hain aapki zindagi mein, unhein appreciate karo, unke hone par shukrguzaar raho bhagwan ka kyunki aise kitne log hain jinhein ek achha dost bhi naseeb nahi hota hai. Isliye kadr karo jo aapke paas hai, chahe woh ek dost ki form mein hi kyun na ho.
Aur agar akele ho, koi dost nahi hai toh yeh bhi koi itni buri baat nahi hai. Nahi hote kuch logon ke dost, aur agar hote hain toh itne achhe nahi hote. Koi baat nahi, jo nahi hai, so nahi hai. Zindagi tham thodi jayegi kisi ke hone ya na hone se. Aaj nahi toh kal ek achha dost bann hi jayega, aur agar nahi bhi banta hai toh khud mein ek achha dost dhund lo, kisi soft toy mein, upar wale mein, ya kisi pet mein ek achha dost dhund lo.
Sab mindset ki baat hai. Dost aksar insaano ki form mein nahi milte. Kabhi kabhi jaanwaron ki form mein milte hain, kabhi nature ki form mein milte hain, kabhi kisi bhagwan, toh kabhi kisi object. Jo hai, jitna hai, usi mein sabr karna seekho. Akele insaan ke paas kuch khone ke liye nahi hota.
Yeh akelapan aapki kamzori nahi, aapki taakat hai. Issey door mat bhaago, isko gale lagao aur apnao. Iske baare mein soch-soch kar pareshan mat ho, jo hai uski kadr karo, aur jo nahi hai uske baare mein zarurat se zyada mat socho. Jo taqdeer mein likha hai, woh sab ko milta hai. Na ussey pehle, na ussey zyada kisi ko milta hai. Doosron ke safar par dhyaan mat do, aap sirf apne safar par dhyaan do.
Dosti se jude lag-bhag har sawaal ka jawaab umeed hai aapko mil gaya hoga, aur agar abhi bhi koi sawaal baaki hai toh uske jawaab ko in shabdon ke jungle mein khojogey toh zarur mil jayega. Bhale hi seedha jawaab na mile, par samajh zaroor ajayega ki ab aage karna kya hai.
Overthinking friendship mein kayi wajahon se ho sakti hai. Lekin isko rokne ke liye khud ko bas yahi samjhana hota hai ki jo haath mein hai aur badla ja sakta hai, usey badal do. Jo haath mein nahi hai aur badla ja sakta hai, usey badalne ki koshish karo. Aur jo na haath mein hai, aur na hi badla ja sakta hai, uske peeche apna waqt zaaya mat karo. Waqt behad keemti hota hai, bas itna samajh jao, dimaag ko shaanti bhi milegi, aur overthinking karna bhi kaafi hadd tak kam ho jayega.
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