Minf F**ked 3

 CHAPTER 2

Relationships Mein Overthinking

Hum jab bhi kisi ke saath ek aise rishte mein bandhein hote hain jisme humara dil, dimaag, jism, sab kuch involved hota hai, chahe woh boyfriend-girlfriend ho, husband-wife ho, ya gay/lesbian couple, us rishte mein sochne ki gunjayish kaafi zyada hoti hai. Kadam-kadam par humara dimaag zarurat se zyada sochta rehta hai, kuch na kuch ajeeb-o-gareeb khayaal banata rehta hai.

Chahe woh koi choti-moti baat ho ya koi bahut badi baat, humara dimaag sochta bahut hai jiski wajah se aksar humein chain nahi milta kisi aise shaqs ke saath hone ke baad bhi jisse hum bahut pyaar karte hain.

Overthinking humare chain ko chheen leti hai. Relationship ki overthinking ke kayi saare hisso ki hum baat karenge, taaki humein zyada se zyada sawaalon ka jawaab mil sake aur hum apni soch par thoda kaabu paa sake.

Rozmarra ki zindagi mein hum kayi cheezon se guzarte hain, chahe hum us shaqs ke saath physically ho, ya long-distance relationship mein ho, ya phir ek hi sheher mein reh kar ussey door ho, har situation ko lagbhag ek hi tareeke se handle kiya ja sakta hai. Jab hum us shaqs ke saath hote hain toh apni problems ko solve karna thoda asaan ho jaata hai, ussey door rehne ke muqable.

Isiliye long distance relationships mein zyada ladaiyan hoti hi hain, chahe jitni marzi understanding ho ek doosre ke liye, par ladaiyan aur kuch na kuch aisi baatein ho hi jaati hain, jissey dono ke beech cheezein kaafi bigad jaati hain, ya fir koi ek insaan un cheezon ko lekar overthink karne lagta hai.

Ladai-Jhagde Hona

Agar aap dono ke beech kisi baat par jhagda ho gaya hai, ya koi aisi baat ho gayi hai jiski wajah se aap dono baat nahi kar rahe hain, toh laazmi hai, aapke mann mein kayi saari negative baatein chal rahi hongi us insaan ko lekar aur us situation ko lekar. Ab chahe aap long distance relationship mein ho ya saath mein, karni aapko baat-cheet hi hai. Baat karne se hi problems ke solution nikalte hain.

Agar ladai mein galti aapki hai, toh bejhijhak unke paas jaiye aur unse maafi maangiye. Maafi maangne wala insaan kabhi chota nahi hota, aur na hi uski naak neechi ho jaati hai. Maafi maangne se aap dono ke beech bharosa bhi badta hai aur pyaar bhi.

Agar galti aapki nahi unki hai toh aap intezaar karo, apne aapko unke paas jaane se roko. Dekho, woh kab tak nahi aate hain, koshish karo ki wahi shaqs aapke paas aake aapse maafi maange. Agar us insaan ke ego se bade aap ho, toh wo zaroor aapke paas aayega aur aap se maafi maangega. Lekin agar wo intezaar karne ke baad bhi nahi aa raha hai, toh aap chale jao.

Uski wajah yeh hai ki aapko apne rishte ko sambhalna hai, usey bachana hai. Khaas kar rishte ke shuruwaati daur mein aapko apni baat par arhe nahi rehna hai, aapko thoda sa narm bhi hona zaroori hai. Ho sakta hai saamne wala shaqs apni galti ka ehsaas nahi kar pa raha hai, toh aap hi ko aage aake ussey baat karke usey ye ehsaas dilana hoga ki galti usi ki thi.

Agar yeh cheezein bahut lambe arse se chali aa rahi hain ki galtiyan woh kar rahe hain aur jhuk aap rahe hain, toh is cheez ko jitni jaldi ho sake band kardo, kyunki yeh aapki relationship ke liye healthy nahi hai.

Ho sakta hai aap bahut zyada overthinking karo in cheezon ko lekar, lekin aapko yeh samajhna bhi zaroori hai ki aapko samne wale shaqs mein aapko lekar, is rishte ko lekar, kharab aadatein nahi dalni hain. Aapko doosre shaqs ko yeh ehsaas dilana bhi zaroori hai ki jo insaan galti karne ki himmat kar sakta hai usey maafi maangne ki himmat bhi karni hogi.

Agar aap dono saath mein reh rahe hain aur tab is tarah ki koi cheez hui ki ladai hone ke baad baat nahi ho rahi hai, communication gap aa gaya hai dono ke beech, tab bhi yahi karna hai. Unse baat karne ki koshish toh karo hi, lekin kabhi kabhi saamne wale shaqs ko bhi waqt aur mauka do aapke paas aake aap se baat karne ke liye, aur apni galti ko maan kar aap se maafi mangne ke liye.

Hum jab bhi relationship ki shuruaati daur mein hote hain, toh bahut si cheezein samjha sakte hain, jaise humein kya pasand hai, kya nahi, kis tarah ki aadatein pasand hain aur kis tarah ki nahi, kaun si cheezein hum bardasht kar sakte hain aur kaun si humare bardasht ke bahar hain.

Is tarah ke ladai-jhagdo pe hum overthinking bahut karte hain, chahe soch is cheez ke baare mein ho ki woh galat hai main nahi, ya soch yeh ho ki woh mere paas kyun nahi aa rahe, mujhe manane nahi aa rahe, ya fir yeh ki main har baar jhukta hoon, is baar wo jhukenge.

Humare mann mein kayi saari baatein chal rahi hoti hain, aur unka kayi baar humein solution pata hota hai, aur kayi baar humein nahi bhi pata hota hai. Agar pata hai toh bas usko apply karne ki der hoti hai. Uske implement hone tak hum sochte chale jaate hain aur apni mental peace ko khatam kar dete hain.

Sochne pe thoda kaabu pao, zaroorat hai aapko. Chote-chote ladai-jhagdon pe zyada socha mat karo, choti-choti baaton ko bada bhi banaya mat karo, bematlab mein apne relationship ko toxicity ki ore leke ja rahe ho. Kabhi kabhi relax bhi karna chahiye thoda. Mujhe pata hai thoda mushkil hai, par koshish karo, sab theek ho jayega.

Trust Issues Hona

Ek aur common issue hota hai couples ke beech, trust ko lekar overthinking karna. Isme bhi do tarah ki situations hoti hain—ek yeh ki aap us insaan pe bharosa karna chahte ho par kar nahi paate, ya toh apne past experiences ki wajah se ya unke saath long-distance relationship mein rehne ki wajah se. Aur doosri situation yeh ki usne aisa kuch kar diya pehle, jiske baad aapne usey mauka toh de diya tha, par aap bharosa karne se darte ho, aap chahkar bhi bharosa nahi kar paate. Aapke mann mein ye darr baitha rehta hai ki kahin woh insaan fir se waisa kuch na kar de, khaas taur se bewafayi dikhana, ya dhokha dena, ya kisi aur ke kareeb jaane ki koshish karna, aur ya kisi aur ka uske kareeb aana.

Trust issues humari overthinking ko itna zyada badha dete hain ki humein chain aa hi nahi paata. Woh insaan jab jab nazron se door hota hai, humare mann mein darr satata rehta hai ki kahin woh kuch galat toh nahi kar raha hoga, ya woh kahin humein dhokha toh nahi de raha hoga.

Yeh issue sabse zyada long-distance relationships mein hota hai aur isi ki wajah se aise relationships tootti bahut hain aur har koi long distance relationships mein padne se bhi darta hai.

Kabhi woh insaan humein kisi or se replace kar deta hai, toh kabhi hum trust issues ki wajah se usko itna frustrate kar dete hain ki woh insaan humein chhod hi deta hai. Aakhir mein hota yahi hai ki phool sa rishta toot ke reh jaata hai aur humein dher saari yaadein de jaata hai din raat tadapne ke liye.

Ab baat aati hai ki trust issues ko control kaise kiya jaaye? Kyunki yahi hai humari overthinking ki wajah. Agar hum apne trust issues ko control kar lein toh hum apni overthinking ko bhi rok sakte hain.

Dekho, agar wajah aapka past hai, aapke past relationships mein aapke saath bahut bada dhokha hua tha jiski wajah se aapke dil aur dimaag mein dehshat baith gayi hai ki na toh ab aap kisi par bharosa karogey, aur agar koi aa bhi gaya hai toh aap us par chah kar bhi bharosa nahi kar pa rahe ho. Bhale hi aap apne past experiences se bahut kuch seekhe honge, lekin aapko apni past relationship se move on karna bhi zaroori hai.

Jab hum move on karte hain toh apne toote hue bharose ko bhi wapas jodte hain. Humein bharosa na karna seekhne ki bajaye ye seekhna zaroori hota hai ki hum ek insaan ki kaun si cheezon ko ignore na karein. Pata chala aap wahi galtiyan repeat kar rahe ho, aap is naye insaan ki wahi cheezein ignore kar rahe ho jo pichle shaqs ki ignore kari thi.

Doosri cheez, bharosa sirf ek insaan ki cheez nahi hai, yeh do logon ke efforts se banta hai. Jab bhi aap nayi relationship mein trust karte ho ek insaan ke upar, toh aap tab hi karte ho jab woh insaan aapko yeh yakeen dilaye ki woh bharosa karne ke kaabil hai.

Agar aapke saath trust issues hain toh woh aapki help karega aapke bharose ko wapas sahi karne mein. Par ye sirf tab hi mumkin hai jab woh is cheez ko samjhega ki aapka bharosa na kar pana ek majburi hai jisey aap khud theek karna chahte ho, bas aapko help chahiye.

Aur sabse badi cheez, bharosa do ya chaar din mein nahi hota hai. Bharosa hone mein ek arsa lag jaata hai, jitna waqt beetta chala jaata hai, utna hi bharosa majboot hota chala jaata hai, agar sab kuch theek rahe toh. Isliye trust issues ko lekar itna zyada mat socho, apni relationship ko time do grow hone ke liye, aur apne partner ko bhi time do ki woh aapki help kar sake.

Agar trust issues ki wajah aapka partner khud hai, toh yeh ek bahut takleef ki baat hai aapke liye bhi aur aapke partner ke liye bhi. Sabse pehle toh yeh samjho ki bharosa ek aisi cheez hoti hai jo ek paper ki tarah hoti hai. Agar usey ek baar marodh diya jaaye toh wapas pehle jaisa hone mein usey bahut waqt lag jaata hai ya shayad kabhi hota hi nahi.

Wahi aapke saath ho raha hai agar ek baar aapke isi partner ne kuch aisi cheez kar di, kuch badi, jisse aapka bharosa pura ka pura toot gaya, toh yeh wapas judna bahut mushkil ho jaata hai. Aap bhale hi apne partner ko yeh ehsaas dila do ki aapne usey maaf bhi kar diya aur aapko us par bharosa bhi ho gaya hai, par mann hi mann aap shak kar rahe ho aaj bhi.

Agar aap apne partner ko maaf kar chuke ho aur is baat ko hue kaafi waqt beet chuka hai aur ab woh kuch galat nahi kar rahe hain, toh aapko us insaan ko mauka dena chahiye, aapko yeh samajhna zaroori hai ki waqt ke saath saath hi trust wapas aa sakta hai. Dheere dheere uspe yakeen karna shuru karo. Koi nahi keh raha aap se ki aap aankh band kar ke bharosa kar lo phir se jaise pichli baar kiya tha, par kam se kam shuru toh karo.

Haan, aapko is baar apni aankhein khuli rakhni hongi, na chahte hue bhi woh sab dekhna padega jisey aap nahi dekhna chahte hain, aur woh bhi sunna hoga jisey aap apne kaano se nahi sun sakte.

Agar aap apne partner ko maaf karne ki soch rahe ho toh ek baat achche se samajh lo—dhokha dene walo ki fitrat mein dobara dhokha dena ek hadd tak hota hai. Agar ek aise insaan ko maaf kar rahe ho jisne aapko dhokha diya hai, aapka bharosa toda hai, toh woh dobara bhi aisa kar sakta hai, Isliye soch-samajh kar hi faisla lena. Lekin utna sochna jitna zaroori hai, zaroorat se zyada mat sochna in cheezon ko lekar, bewajah pareshan mat karna khud ko.

Agar aap is faisle par pahuche ki unhein maaf karke unke saath phir se continue karoge, toh koi baat nahi. Agar woh badle hain toh shayad nahi karenge us tarah ki phir koi galti, par agar nahi badle hain, aur niyat mein aaj bhi khot hai, toh phir kabhi na kabhi woh wahi harkat karenge, aur uske baad unhein maaf karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Tumhare liye yeh sabak hoga ki aise insaan ko maaf karna jisne ek baar nahi ek se do baar dhokha diya hai, humari bahut badi galti hoti hai.

Overthinking sirf padh ke kam nahi kari ja sakti, overthinking ko kam karne ke liye aapko apne aap ko kaafi samjhana padta hai, bahut zyada train karna padta hai, ek soch banani padti hai jo wakayi mein ek lamba process hai, jo zindagi ke experiences ke saath saath hoti bhi rahegi, phir tootegi, aur phir ban jayegi.

Trust issues ko lekar overthink karna bahut common hai, aur iska solution bas yahi hai ki chahe aap us insaan ke saath relationship mein ho ya nahi, waqt do cheezon ko, rishton ko, logon ko. Jaise-jaise waqt ke saath-saath woh grow hongey, aur jaise-jaise aap zindagi jiyogey unke saath, aapko samajh aa jayega ki yeh insaan bharosa karne ke layak hai ya nahi. Isliye overthinking karna band karo aur is cheez ko apne dil aur dimaag mein baitha lo. Dekhna, thoda waqt zaroor lagega par sukoon milega.

Galatfehmiyan Hona

Ek rishte mein kabhi na kabhi aisa din zaroor aata hai jab hum unhein ya woh humein samajhte nahi. Yeh ya toh ek pure flow ke saath aata hai ya beech-beech mein aisa hota rehta hai ki.

Hum unse umeed karte hain ki woh humein aur humari issues ko samjhein, aur woh humse umeed karte hain ki hum unhein aur unki issues ko samjhein, par kabhi kabhi dono chook jaate hain samajhane se, aur phir dheere-dheere galatfehmiyan badhne lagti hain.

Agar aapko aisa lagta hai ki aapke partner aapko nahi samajhte hain, toh sabse pehle aap wajah janne ki koshish kariye ki aakhir woh aapko kyun nahi samajh rahe hain. Kisi insaan ko na samajhne ki kayi wajahein ho sakti hain.

Ya toh aisa ho sakta hai ki woh aap se umeed kar rahe hain ki aap unhein samjhein, kyunki woh aapki har cheez ko samajhte aaye hain kaafi arse se. Ya yeh ho sakta hai ki woh jaanbujh kar samajhna nahi chahte. Ya phir ek yeh bhi wajah ho sakti hai ki woh aapko samajh nahi pa rahe hain, kyunki woh khud kaafi pareshaniyon se guzar rahe hain. Aur ek wajah yeh bhi ho sakti hai ki, aap zyada complicated hain apni zindagi mein, apne issues ko lekar, isliye woh samajhne ki koshish kar ke bhi nahi samajh pa rahe hain.

Aksar zindagi ke mushkil daur mein hum apne partner se umeed karte hain ki woh humein zyada samjhein aur humare saath adjust karein. Aap sabse pehle yeh dekhiye ki aakhir galtiyan ho kahan rahi hain. Aapko yeh dekhne ke liye ek partner ki tarah nahi, ek third person ki tarah dono ki situations ko dekhna padega, taaki aap bina ek taraf zyada jhuke yeh samajh sakein ki kaun kahan galtiyan kar raha hai. Dhyaan se dekhne par aapko khud samajh aa jayega ki kis ke end se galti ho rahi hai. Agar aapko yeh dikhe ki aap galti kar rahe hain toh aap unke paas jaa kar apni galtiyon ko accept karke situation ko calm down karne ki koshish kariye. Unhe bharosa dilaiye ki aap unhe bhi samajh rahe hain aur unki situation ko bhi. Aisa karne se aapke partner bhi apna gussa aur apni naraazgi ko side mein rakh ke aapko samjhenge aur aap dono ke beech chal rahi problems ko bhi thik karenge.

Agar aapko yeh lagta hai ki aap thik hain aur woh hi galat hain, toh aap unse baat karke unhein yakeen dilaiye ki unki kaunsi cheezon ki wajah se aap dono ke beech galatfehmiyan hone lagi hain. Unse pyaar se, shaanti se, baat kariye aur unke saath share kariye ki kahin na kahin iss situation mein woh galti kar rahe hain aur unhein aisa nahi karna chahiye, kyunki unke aisa karne ki wajah se aap dono ke phool se rishte mein dararein pad rahi hain.

Aap ko apne partner ko yakeen dilana hoga ki galatfehmiyo se ek rishta khatam ho jaata hai aur yeh aap dono ke rishte ke liye bilkul bhi thik nahi hai. Jab bhi hum apne partner ko yeh samjha rahe hote hain ki woh galti kar rahe hain, ya aap unhein kisi bhi cheez ya situation ke liye galat thehra rahe hain, toh aapki tone bahut hi light aur calm honi chahiye, kyunki aksar log galat thehrate waqt bahut badtameez ho jaate hain aur bahut zyada frustrated sound karne lagte hain, jo ki us situation ko aur bhi zyada complicated bana deta hai.

Jab bhi aap baat karo, pyaar aur samman ke saath baat karo, taaki woh shaqs aapko sirf samjhe hi nahi, balki usey yeh bhi ehsaas ho ki aap kitne pyaar se aur samajhdari se us situation ko sambhal rahe hain aur aapka unki zindagi mein hona unke liye bahut hi garv ki baat hai. Aksar gusse mein sambhalti cheezein bhi bigad jaati hain. Isliye kabhi bhi apne partner ko kuch bhi samjhao, toh pyaar se samjhao.

Iske alawa kuch tarike batata hoon jinko dhyaan mein rakhke aur jinka istemaal kar ke aap apne partner ke saath galatfehmiyon ko door kar sakte hain:

Unhein bhi suno

Kabhi bhi aap dono ke beech galatfehmiyan ho jayein toh ek baat ka dhyaan rakho, baat karte waqt hamesha saamne wale ki baat ko dhyaan se suno. Sirf apni nahi bolni hoti hai, samne wale shaqs ki sunni bhi hoti hai. Agar aap unhein sunoge nahi aur sirf apni kahogey, toh aap dono ke beech galatfehmiyan kam hone ki jagah aur bhi zyada badh jayengi. Aap unhein suno toh ek baar, dekho woh kya keh rahe hain, kitni sahi aur kitni galat baat keh rahe hain, kya pata unka point bahut sahi ho aur aapko ehsaas ho jaye apni galti ka.

Break bhi zaroori hai

Jab bhi aap dono ke beech galatfehmiyan kaafi badh jayein, toh ek break le lo. Zaroori nahi hota ki galatfehmiyan hote hi aap unke saath solve karna shuru kar do aur woh ho bhi jaaye. Kayi baar galatfehmiyon ki aag ko bujhne ke liye samay dena padta hai. Woh apne aap dheere dheere bujhte hain aur jab aapka dimag thanda ho jaaye phir baat karo taaki thande dimaag se aap dono ek doosre ko suno aur samjho. Jab aap dono ek doosre se baat nahi kar rahe hoge, toh chances hote hain ki aap apni-apni chhod ke ek doosre ki situations ke baare mein bhi soch rahe hoge, toh isliye bhi zaroori hota hai break lena, ya woh jagah chhod ke kahin aur chale jana.

Ek baar aap bhi jao unke paas

Agar bahut samay tak woh aapke paas nahi aa rahe hain, toh aap apna ego side mein rakh ke unke paas jaa kar unse baat kar sakte hain. Mujhe pata hai aap kahoge ki aisa karne se toh woh mujhe for granted le lenge. Dekho for granted koi ek-do baar aisa karne par nahi leta, log for granted tab lete hain jab aap baar baar unke paas jaate ho unki galtiyon par aur woh baar baar aapko apne aage jhukate hain. Aap kabhi kabhi aisa kar sakte hain, par har baar nahi. Aap unke paas ja kar unhe ehsaas bhi dila sakte hain ki unki galtiyon par unhe jhukna chahiye, aapko nahi.

Doosron ko involve mat karo

Doosron ko involve kabhi mat karo jab bhi aap dono ke beech galatfehmiyan ho jayein. Relationship mein teesre logon ke aane ki wajah se problems shuru ho jaati hain. Aap dono apni galatfehmiyon ko khud solve karo. Agar aapko bilkul samajh nahi aa raha hai toh aap kisi experienced person se advice le sakte hain, ya professional help le sakte hain kisi se, par knowns ko involve karna aksar thik nahi rehta, kyunki humare knowns humein judge bhi karte hain, aur saath hi saath humari side lete hain ye jaane bina ki hum sahi hain ya nahi.

Inhi sab baaton ka dhyaan rakh kar apne partner ke saath ho rahi galatfehmiyon ko thik kiya jaa sakta hai. Isliye ab overthinking karna band karo ki problem yeh hai, problem woh hai. Problem toh sab ko pata hoti hai, par ab aapko solution bhi pata hai, isliye solution par focus kar ke apne dimaag ke uljhe hue dhaago ko suljhao.

Jab Woh Aapko For Granted Lene Lagte Hain

Humari relationships mein ek aur sabse common issue hai jispe humari overthinking bahut badh jaati hai. Aksar yeh hota hai ki jab bhi hum kisi ke kareeb aate hain, unke saath relationship mein aate hain, shuruwaat mein toh unka behaviour kaafi achcha hota hai. Woh aapko apna waqt bhi dete hain, aapki cheezon ko bhi samajhte hain, aapko pyaar bhi karte hain, aapke liye efforts bhi karte hain, aur aapki respect bhi karte hain, wo sab kuch karte hain jissey aap unki ore chumbak ki tarah khiche chale jaate ho.

Yeh cheezein shuruwaat mein toh bahut sar chadh kar bolti hain, par dheere dheere woh yeh sab cheezein karna thoda thoda kam kar dete hain. Jo attention aapko mila karta tha ab woh kam ho gaya hai, jo pyaar woh karte the woh bhi thoda thoda kam ho gaya hai, jo efforts woh pehle karte the ab woh kam ho gaye hain. Bas baatein hoti hain, unmein bhi zyadatar jhagde ho jaate hain.

Thode time baad yeh mehsoos hone lagta hai ki yeh insaan ab aapko woh importance nahi deta hai jo yeh pehle diya karta tha, jo ki aapko andar hi andar bahut maarta hai. Hum actually mein bahut overthinking karna shuru kar dete hain is sab ko lekar. Humein bechaini hoti hai, anxiety hoti hai is sab ko lekar. Kayi sawaal mann mein ghoomne lagte hain, dimaag shaant nahi hota, har waqt yahi sochta rehta hai ki aakhir kya hua is insaan ko. Jab aapke mann mein feelings aayi toh yeh insaan achanak se peeche hone laga.

Jab aap nahi badle toh yeh kaise badalne laga? Jab aap us insaan se directly puchte ho toh jawaab kabhi seedha nahi aata. Woh cheezein thik karne ki jagah ya to bhadak jaate hain ya jaisi hai usi haal mein chhod ke chala jaatein hain.

Agar aapke partner ne bhi aapko for granted le liya hai, toh aapko kuch aisi cheezein karni hongi jissey aap unke dil mein apne liye ehmiyat fir se jaga sakte hain. Kyunki yeh ehmiyat hi hai jo uski nazron mein kam ho gayi hai aapki. Aur woh hota isliye hi hai, kyunki jab tak ek insaan aapko chase kar raha hota hai, woh aapko bahut kuch dikhata hai, lekin jab uska chase khatam ho jaata hai aur aapka shuru ho jaata hai, toh woh insaan aapko bahut lightly lene lagta hai. Uske dil se aapko khone ka darr tak khatam hone lagta hai.

Jab log humare saath itna sab kuch karte hain, humein for granted lene lagte hain, toh hum bhi bahut zyada overthinking karne lagte hain. Zaahir si baat hai, jab koi shaqs humein apni hi nazron ke saamne badalta dikhega, toh mann mein hazaar sawaal aayenge. Aur un sawaalon ke jawaab jab mangne par bhi na milein, toh hum bahut depress ho jaate hain.

Overthinking kar-kar ke hum apni mental peace ko puri tarah khatam kar dete hain, aur hum yeh ehsaas nahi kar paate ki yeh humari mental health ke liye kitna kharab hai. Pata hote hue bhi hum control nahi kar paate.

Dekho, koi bhi emotional problem khud emotional hokar handle nahi kar paoge. Kyunki jis cheez se aap emotionally jude ho, woh cheez emotional ho kar thik nahi ho sakti. Agar aapko kisi ko apni value ka ehsaas karana hai, toh aapko majboot banna hoga, thoda bahut nahi, bahut zyada, aur physically nahi, emotionally banna hoga.

Yeh jo baar-baar jhukte ho aap unke aage, apni galtiyon par bhi aur unki galtiyon par bhi, yeh band karna hoga. Apni khoyi hui self-respect ko wapas lana hoga, apne aapko unka ek option banne se rokna hoga.

Aur yeh sab karne ke liye, sabse pehle aap unse baat karoge. Baat karte waqt aap unhein samjhane ki koshish karogey, woh sab kuch bataogey jo jo woh kar rahe hain aur jo chot woh aapko de rahe hain. Aur saath hi saath yeh bhi janna hoga ki kahin woh kisi pareshani se toh nahi guzar rahe hain.

Baat karo unse

Sabse pehle baat ki jaati hai, kyunki baat karne se bahut kuch sahi ho jaata hai. Agar aapke baar baar baat karne se bhi kuch thik nahi ho raha hai, koi solution nahi nikal raha hai, phir aap apne soft nature ko thoda hard karo. Jo baar baar pighal jaate the aap unke liye, unki baaton par, ab khud ko pighalne se roko. Samajhna hoga ki woh shaqs aapke is behaviour ko itna lightly le raha hai, usey ab aisa lagne laga hai ki aap hamesha pighlogey aur woh hamesha aapko pighalne par majboor karega.

Unki galtiyon par mat jhuko

Ab aapko is cheez ko rokna hoga. Jo baar baar aap unki galtiyon par jhukte aaye the, unse maafi maang lete the, unse baat kar liya karte the, apne pyaar aur rishte ko bachane ki khaatir aur woh aapko zabardasti majboor karte the aisa karne ke liye. Woh sab kuch aapko band karna hoga, kyunki us shaqs ke andar ab is cheez ka ego aa chuka hai ki woh aapko hamesha jhukayenge aur khud kabhi nahi jhukenge. Unhein aisa lagta hai ki woh kabhi galat nahi ho sakte, galat toh sirf ek hi shaqs hota hai aur woh aap ho. Unki is galatfehmi ko puri tarah khatam karna hoga aur apne liye stand lena hoga.

Unhein kamzori mat banao

Aap doosron ko jitna kamzor dikhaogey, log aapki kamzoriyon ka utna hi fayda uthayenge. Isliye kabhi logon ko yeh mehsoos nahi hone dena ki woh aapki kamzori hain, aur aap unke bina jee nahi sakte. Unhein yeh pata hona chahiye ki agar woh zara sa bhi galat raaste par gaye, toh woh aapko kho sakte hain.

Jab bhi woh aapko galat raah chalte dikhein, ya kuch baat aisi karein jisse aapko yeh mehsoos ho ki woh aapko lekar kis tarah ki soch rakhte hain ya ab rakhne lage hain, aur aapko woh cheez galat lage, toh aap unhein usi samay thik kar do, warna baad mein thik karne ki koshish bhi karoge, toh thik hone ki bajaye baatein aur bhi zyada bigad jayengi, aur sabse badi baat toh yeh hai ki baad mein us sab ki value hi nahi reh jayegi.

Is sab ko karte-karte bhi woh shaqs agar aapko ignore kar raha hai, ya aapko zara bhi ehmiyat nahi de raha hai, toh aap bhi unhein ignore karo, unse doori banao. Na jaldi se kisi text ka reply karo aur na hi pehli ring pe call pick karo. Kuch der intezaar karwao unhein, unhein yeh dikhao ki aap unke liye 24*7 available nahi ho. Yeh mat dikhao ki aap khaali ho, aapke paas koi kaam nahi hai.

Kam available raho

Apni availability ko thoda kam karo unki zindagi mein. Agar woh nazron ke samne ho, tab bhi unhein nazarandaaz karne ki koshish karo, kyunki woh bahut zaroori hai. Aisa karne se do cheezein hongi—ya toh woh pareshan ho jayenge aur sochne lagenge ki aap kyun unse door ho rahe hain, ya agar woh yeh sab aap se door jaane ke liye kar rahe the toh yeh bhi saabit ho jayega ki woh ab rehna nahi chahte aapke saath. Aur aapko yeh pata chalna bahut zaroori hai ki aapka partner aapke saath rehna chahta hai ya nahi.

Agar hum baat sirf for granted lene ki karein toh yeh permanent nahi hota, yeh ek temporary state hota hai, jahan dono mein se koi ek shaqs doosre ko value dena kam kar deta hai. Aur zaroori yeh bhi nahi ki woh aapko granted yuhin le rahe hain, yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki woh busy ho apni studies ya career mein, ya kisi aise personal kaam mein jiski wajah se aapke liye waqt nikaal paana thoda mushkil ho raha hai.

Kayi baar yeh bhi wajah hoti hai ki ek shaqs apni personal problems—jaise ki studies, personal life ya professional life—se disturbed chal raha hota hai, jiska asar uski relationship pe padhne lagta hai. Toh is sab ke baare mein baat ki jaa sakti hai aur sahi waqt ka intezaar kiya jaa sakta hai jab woh comfortable ho apni problems share karne ke liye.

Agar aapke saath bhi kuch isi tarah ki baat hai jahan aap apne partner ko pehle wali value nahi de pa rahe hain aur wajah yeh hai ki aap disturbed chal rahe hain apni studies, personal or professional life ki wajah se, toh aapko bhi sahi waqt dhundke discuss karna hoga apne partner ke saath. Kyunki, ek shaqs wakayi mein bahut pareshan ho jaata hai jab aap usey ignore karte hain, uski value usko bilkul zero dikhane lagti hain.

Overthinking, jaisa ki ab tak bataya gaya hai, problems ki mat karo, yeh socho ki yeh cheezein thik kaise hongi, emotional ho kar har cheez se deal nahi kar sakte aap life mein. Aapka strongly aur practically chalna bahut zaroori hai, verna aap par log dabaav banate chale jayenge, aur jo itne zyada dabte hain, unki doosre fir izzat bhi nahi karte. Toh apni izzat aur ehmiyat ko barkarar rakhne ke liye aapko doosre shaqs ko yeh ehsaas dilana hoga ki woh aapko itna zyada kamzor na samjhein. Aur agar is tarah se behave karte rahe woh aapke saath, toh rishta khatam ho sakta hai, aur wapas kuch thik phir hoga bhi nahi.

Agar aap live-in relationship mein ho, tab bhi yeh cheezein kari ja sakti hain. Aap apne ignorance se, apni gair maujudgi se, apne unmein interest show na karne se us insaan ko yeh ehsaas dila sakte ho ki aapki bhi apni value hai jisey ignore na kiya jaaye toh behtar hoga, warna anjaam achcha nahi hoga. Zindagi mein kayi baar jab pyaar se kisi ko ehsaas na ho toh thodi halchal machani padti hai, thodi sakhti baratni padti hai taaki us insaan ko ehsaas ho ki jo bhi baat hai, kaafi serious hai.

Overreact Karna

Kabhi kabhi kya hota hai ki humara partner humse kuch kehta hai aur hum uski baat pe overreact kar dete hain. Kabhi kabhi humein realize ho jaata hai ki humne galat kiya hai, humein aisa nahi karna chahiye tha, matlab jitna reaction zaroori tha ussey kayi zyada react kar ke humne us situation ko aur bhi zyada bigaad liya. Par kabhi kabhi humein realize nahi hota hai ki humara reaction galat tha, humein is tarah se react nahi karna chahiye tha. Humara ego hota hai unke aage na jhukne ka, aur na apni galti mannne ka.

Agar humein realize ho jaaye toh us overreaction ke baad hum overthinking karna shuru kar dete hain ki humein aisa nahi karna chahiye tha. Overthinking karni kyun hai? Jab aapke paas ek itna pyara option hai us insaan ke paas jaane ka aur ussey maafi mangne ka, toh aap soch-soch ke apna time waste kyun kar rahe hain? Kyun pareshan ho rahe hain aur kyun pareshan kar rahe hain apne dimaag ko? Aapke partner tak ko yeh baat achhi nahi lag rahi hogi ki aapne itna react kar diya.

Aise mein sochna band karo, apni galti ka ehsaas karo aur aage badh kar unse maafi maango. Zabardasti ki dooriyan mat lekar aao apne dil mein aur apne dimaag ko itna mat uljhao. In choti-choti cheezon ki gunjayish mat lekar aao.

Situations ko samajhdari ke saath handle karna shuru karo, na ki nasamjhi ke saath overreact karo. Maturity aani bahut zaroori hai aapke andar, jab tak woh nahi aayegi tab tak aisi choti-moti cheezein avoid nahi kar paaogey aur bewajah soch soch ke apne dimaag ko pareshan karoge.

Is baat ko realize karo aur dhyaan rakho ki aagey se itna overreact karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Bhale hi baat kaisi bhi ho, ek samajhdar insaan shanti se, calmly situation ko sambhalta hai. Aur besabrapan overreact karne par majboor kar deta hai, isliye besabri ko chhodo aur samajhdar bano.

Relationship ke Future ko Lekar Overthinking Karna

Relationship ke future ko lekar overthinking karna bhi ek bahut bada issue hai. Chahe woh caste differences ho, religious differences ho, ya future ki stability, career ya finances ko lekar ho, ya phir partner ke future ko lekar surety na dena ya mana kar dena ho, hum bahut zyada sochte hain humari relationships ke future ko lekar.

Shuru shuru mein hum in sab cheezon ko ignore kar dete hain yeh soch kar ke baad ki baad mein dekhi jayegi. Lekin jaise jaise waqt beetta hai, humein reality check milna shuru ho jaata hai. Hum pareshan hone lagte hain aur bahut zyada overthinking karne lagte hain, aur jab woh ‘baad’ aata hai, toh kuch ‘dekha’ nahi jaata.

Pyaar karna gunaah nahi hota, lekin sirf pyaar se bhi sab kuch nahi hota. Shuruwaat mein humare sar pe ishq ka bhoot is kadar sawaar hota hai ki hum kisi cheez ke baare mein sochte bhi hain, toh ignore kar dete hain.

Sabse pehle baat karte hain intercaste/ inter-religious relationships ke baare mein.

Intercaste/inter-religious relationships woh hoti hain jahan do alag caste/religion ke log aapas mein relationship mein aate hain. Humari society mein bahut se log intercaste/ inter-religious relationships ko kaafi galat maante hain. Ek baar ko intercaste fir bhi accept kar lete hain, par interreligious relationships ko toh bahut zyada galat maante hain.

Kisi kisi ke parents ko koi dikkat nahi hoti is tarah ki relationship se, woh insaan dekh kar rishton ke liye haan bol dete hain. Lekin kahin-kahin par aaj bhi log chahte hain ki apni caste mein hi shaadi karwayein apne bachchon ki. Iske pressure mein aksar bachchon ko ya toh apne pyaar ki kurbaani deni padti hai, ya woh bhaag ke shaadi karne jaise kadam utha lete hain.

Agar aap ek aise relationship mein ho jahan aap future ke baare mein soch soch ke insecure hote rehte ho ki, aap ke parents maanenge ya nahi, kuch pata nahi, toh aapko itna pareshan hone ki zaroorat nahi hai. Apne aaj mein jiyo aur jo problems door hain unke paas aane tak apna soch soch ke dimaag kharab mat karo. Kyunki uska solution aaj nahi niklega, woh usi din niklega, isliye apne dimaag ko shaant karo, apne rishte ko majboot karo, aur apni zindagi ko enjoy karo. Kayi baar aisa bhi hota hai ki hum future ki tension lete reh jaate hain aur humare partner ke saath humari bonding kharab kar lete hain, jiski wajah se waqt aane se pehle hi break-up ho jaata hai.

Future kisi ne nahi dekha, kuch pata nahi aane wala kal humare liye kya lekar aaye, kaisa phase lekar aaye, isliye apne aaj ko jiyo khushi khushi, apne partner ke saath enjoy karo bina future ki tension liye, bina khud ke dil aur dimaag ko takleef diye. Jab bhi is baat ko lekar overthinking karo, apne dil ko samjhao ki abhi waqt hai us sab mein. Yeh waqt kal ki pareshaniyon se pareshan hone ka nahi hai, yeh waqt aaj ko jeene ka hai.

Ya toh apne andar confidence le aao ki parents ko har haal mein mana loge, ya phir agar aapko lagta hai ki jo aap soch rahe ho woh namumkin hai, toh aap is rishte ko khatam kar do bina soche ki kitni takleefon ka saamna karna padega aapko. Kyunki jitna waqt aap unke saath rahoge, utna zyada attachment badhega aap dono ke beech aur utni zyada takleefein bhi badhengi kal ko alag hone mein.

Doosra, shayad aap apne aur apne partner ki stability ko lekar chinta karte ho ki aap ya aapka partner stable nahi hai, jiski wajah se aapko dikkat hogi, ya to apne parents ko manane mein ya khud us insaan ke saath apni life spend karne mein. Yeh cheez tab hoti hai jab humara partner unstable hota hai. Agar aap ek achche aur nek insaan ke saath ho toh aapko chinta karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Priority aapki uska paisa ya bank balance nahi hona chahiye, priority aapki yahi honi chahiye ki woh insaan achcha hai ya nahi, iske basis par decision lenge ki aagey chalna hai ya nahi.

Paisa aap dono milkar bhi kama lenge, thode kam mein guzara kar lenge. Aisi situation mein us insaan ka saath chhodne ki bajaye aapko usko support karna chahiye, kyunki woh unstable hokar bhi mehnat aap hi ke liye kar rahe hain, taaki behtar tareeke se settle ho sakein aur aapko ek khubsurat future de sakein. Waqt ke saath saath insaan track par aa hi jaata hai, kya pata us insaan ki kismat kab palat jaaye, kab uska career boost ho jaaye aur stable ho jaaye.

In sab baaton par overthinking karne se behtar aap us shaqs ko support karein, aur apne mann ko samjhayein ki woh insaan zaroori hai, baaki thode kam-zyada mein bhi kaam chala lenge. Zindagi mein ek achche insaan ka saath milna zaroori hota hai, paisa toh insaan waqt ke saath saath kama hi leta hai, koi thoda kamata hai toh koi thoda zyada, in sab cheezon ki wajah se achche insaan nahi thukraye jaate hain.

Iske alawa ek aur bhi baat hoti hai jiski wajah se aksar hum bahut pareshan ho jaate hain. Kabhi kabhi humare partner humein keh dete hain relationship ki shuruwaat mein ya beech mein ki, ‘Hum saath reh sakte hain, lekin, future ki koi surety nahi hai,’ ya woh saaf-saaf mana kar dete hain ki woh aap se shaadi nahi karenge.

Aisi situation humein bahut zyada bebas bana deti hai ki humara break-up bhi nahi hua aur yeh bhi pata chal gaya ki ek na ek din woh bhi shaadi se pehle woh humse break-up kar lenge.

Bas ek baat kahunga—agar ek insaan aaj aapko keh raha hai ki woh aap se shaadi nahi karega, ya wo dikha raha hai ki kisi bhi tarah ki koi surety nahi hai future ki, toh aise insaan ka saath aap jitni door tak lekar jaogey, utna toot jaogey. Jab humein pata hai ki ek na ek din ye rishta tootega zaroor, toh aise rishte ko zabardasti continue kar ke apne aapko aur bhi zyada tootne ke liye mat chhodo.

Aaj bhale hi aapko ye lage ki aap alag nahi ho sakte, kyunki aap bahut attached ho, pyaar bahut karte ho, lekin ek bahut badsoorat haqeeqat yeh bhi hai ki yeh attachment aur pyaar ek na ek din waise bhi khatam hona hai, jo ki bahut door nahi, abhi aane wale kuch mahine, ya saalon mein hi hai. Is haqeeqat se jitna door bhagogey, utna gehra gaddha khod logey apne liye.

Sahi samay pe door ho jana chahiye aise logon se, zaroorat se zyada emotional ho kar kuch bhi decision loge toh siwaye pachhtave ke kuch nahi hoga. Baad mein bhi isi baat ka pachhtawa hoga ki us din faisla le liya hota aur thodi himmat kar li hoti toh aaj kahin aur hi hote, kuch aur hi kar rahe hote aur ho sakta hai kisi aur ke saath bhi hote, shayad aise kisi shaqs ke jo humse bahut pyaar karta aur jiske saath humara future bhi hota.

Aur sach kahun toh, yeh soch kar bhi continue mat karna ki ho sakta hai woh aagey chal ke apna mann badal le. Jaise jaise yeh relationship grow hogi, pyaar badhega, toh woh baad mein apna decision change kar lenge—is galat fehmi mein mat rehna. Dekho, bahut zyada risk leke nahi chala jaata kisi relationship mein. Humesha aise insaan ka haath thaamo jo kam se kam aapko chhod ke jaane ki baat toh nahi kar raha hai.

Jo shaqs shuruwaat mein hi aapko chhod jaane ki baat kar raha hai, woh aagey kaise nibhayega saath. Aise log humein for granted bhi le hi lete hain. Wajah yeh hoti hai ki jab koi insaan itna bhi sure nahi hai ki woh aapke saath aagey rahega ya nahi, toh aisa shaqs aapki value kaise karega, aur jo value nahi karega woh aapko ya toh shuru se, ya aagey chal ke for granted bhi le lega, aur aapke liye yeh sab toxic hota chala jayega. Isliye aisi galti bhi mat karna ki aap risk pe continue kar lo bas isliye kyunki aap alag nahi ho sakte unke pyaar ke khaatir.

Aap aaj unhein apni zindagi se na nikalke aise logon ka raasta rok rahe ho jo shayad aapke saath sachche dil se mohabbat karenge aur aapke saath saari zindagi rahenge. Unke saath aap bahut khush rahenge, aur phir jab peeche mud ke dekhenge tab yakeen hoga ki jo hua, sab achcha hi hua, kuch bhi galat nahi hua.

Partner ke Past/Behaviour/Habits ko Accept Nahi

Kar Paana

Kayi baar hum apne partner ki kuch cheezon ko accept nahi kar paate, kuch aadatein jo unki thik nahi hoti, ya kuch aisi cheezein jo aapke hisaab se galat hoti hain. Hum is cheez ko lekar kaafi zyada overthinking karte hain.

Hum yeh sochte hain ki Woh kyun hain aise? Woh aisi cheezein kyun karte hain? Kyun woh aisi baatein karte hain? Unki aisi aadatein kyun hain? Ya hum kaise unki in aadaton ya cheezon ko badlein? Kyun tha unka past aisa?

Aise kayi sawaal aate rehte hain jiski wajah se humara mann bahut hi zyada ashaant ho jaata hai aur humein do pal ke liye bhi chain nahi milta. Hum is hadd tak sochne lagte hain ki hum unke saath hokar bhi khush nahi reh paate, enjoy nahi kar paate.

Dekho, har insaan alag hota hai, bhale hi aap ne unme lakh wo cheezein dekhi ho jo aapko bahut khush kar gayi ho, jo aapko apni jaisi lagi ho, jinhone aapko unki ore kheecha ho, par un lakh qualities mein bhi kuch qualities aisi hoti hain jo aapko pasand nahi aati, aur aisa hona bhi laazmi hai.

Is duniya mein koi bhi insaan perfect nahi hota. Hum sab kisi na kisi kami ke saath is duniya mein aaye hain. Hum mein lakh khoobiya hongi jo logon ko pasand aayengi, par kuch aisi aadatein bhi hongi jo logon ko bilkul pasand nahi aayengi.

Kuch buri aadatein jo badli ja sakti hain, woh ek alag baat hai, usey zaroor aap badalne ki koshish karo. Lekin agar kisi ke nature mein koi kami hai, kisi ka nazariya alag hai aap se. Toh usey badalne ki koshish mat karo, aise mein hoga kuch nahi, aap dono ke beech mein ek toh jhagde bahut badh jayenge, aur ussey bhi zyada bura ye hoga ki woh insaan badal jayega aur aapko lagega aapke liye badal raha hai, lekin aapko khud uski badli hui personality pasand nahi aayegi.

Yeh jo hum logon ko badalne ki koshishein karte hain unhein perfect banane ke liye, ya kuch-kuch apne jaisa banane ke liye, yeh bilkul thik nahi karte. Agar aapko lagta hai ki kisi insaan ki koi cheez aapko zara bhi pasand nahi aayegi, ya aap us cheez ko bardasht hi nahi kar sakte, toh aap us insaan ke saath kisi bhi tarah ke rishte ki shuruwaat hi mat karo.

Rishte shuru karne ke baad badalne ka koi matlab nahi banta. Agar kisi ko chaaho toh waisa chaaho jaisa woh hai, na ki us insaan ko badal kar chaaho. Thodi-bahut kharaab adatein badalne mein help ki ja sakti hai uski, ya aisi kisi cheez ko badla ja sakta hai jisko woh shaqs aap se khud badalvana chahta ho, lekin aap apni taraf se us insaan ko zaroorat se zyada badalne ya perfect banane ki koshish mat karo.

Ho sakta hai aapko aapke partner ke past se kaafi zyada pareshani hoti hai, relationship ki shuruwaat mein ya abhi haal-filhaal mein kuch pata chala hai unke baare mein aur woh aap accept nahi kar pa rahe hain. Past ki cheezon ko lekar aap judge karne lage hain unhein, ya woh sab baatein aapko kaafi zyada pareshan karti hain, toh in baaton ko dhyaan se padho.

Kisi bhi insaan ki kisi bhi cheez ko accept tab hi kiya ja sakta hai jab aap iss haqeeqat ko samjhein ki jo bhi hua tha, woh sab pehle hua tha, uska aaj se lena dena toh nahi hai. Agar aapke partner ke saath kabhi bhi kuch galat hua tha, ya usne kisi ka saath galat kiya, ya phir koi aisi cheez jo na sahi hai aur na galat, bas ussey aapko farak pad raha hai, toh aisi cheezon ko accept karo.

Beeti hui koi bhi cheez tumhare partner ka tumhare liye jo pyaar hai, usey affect kar rahi hai kya? Koi bhi incident tumhare beech mein pareshaniyan bada raha hai kya? Nahi! Jo hua ya toh kisi ki galti ki wajah se hua, ya nasamjhi ki wajah se hua, ya mutual understanding ke saath hua, un baaton se khud ke pyaar ko mat badlo.

Un beeti hui baaton ki wajah se apne partner ko judge mat karo. Woh insaan jaisa aaj hai, wahi sach hai, uska beeta hua kal uske baare mein nahi bata sakta ki woh kitna galat hai aur kitna nahi. Har insaan zindagi mein galtiyan karta hai aur galtiyon se seekhta hai, toh aise mein aapka haq banta hai us shaqs ko mauka dene ka, taaki woh galtiyan repeat na kare.

Aur agar aapke partner ka kisi aur ke saath koi physical relation raha hai, toh bhi aise mein unhein judge karne ki bajaye unhein yeh ehsaas dilao ki beeti hui cheezein sab ke saath ho sakti hain, yeh matter nahi karta ki humne kal kya kiya, matter yeh karta hai ki hum aaj kya kar rahe hain.

Agar woh aaj kuch aisa kar rahe hain jo aapke liye kaafi zyada offensive hai, toh aise mein faisla aapke haath mein hoga ki karna kya hai, aagey chalna hai saath ya yahin chhod dena hai. Lekin agar beeti hui koi baat hai, toh uske basis pe judge karke unhein aisa mat mehsoos karao ki woh kitne galat insaan hain, aur unke past ki wajah se unhein koi accept nahi karega.

Jis kami ki wajah se tum usey chhod doge, toh aisa toh hoga nahi ki yeh kami kisi aur mein nahi hogi, aur agar yeh nahi hui toh koi aur hogi, koi na koi kami milti hi hai humein kisi na kisi mein. Toh kamiyon ke saath jeena seekho, kamiyon ko accept karna seekho, agar achche-bhale insaan ko uske past ki wajah se chhodoge, toh yeh bahut galat karoge, uske saath bhi aur apne saath bhi.

Agar is baare mein overthinking karte ho toh, woh karna dheere dheere band aise hi hoga jab aap us shaqs ko woh jaisa hai waisa hi accept karna shuru karoge. Chahe woh acceptance ho ya overthinking ho, waqt lagta hai inhein apni zindagi mein, apni soch mein implement karne mein. Woh waqt dena bahut zaroori hai, jab woh waqt dogey, tabhi woh cheezein hoti nazar aayengi.

Relationship Mein Khush Nahi Reh Paana

Kabhi kabhi hum aise relationship mein hote hain jismein shuruwaat mein toh humein kaafi khushi hui thi; humne socha tha ki humara relationship aisa hoga, hum milke yeh sab cheezein karenge, ya humnein haan kehne se pehle mehsoos kiya ki hum bahut pyaar karte hain unse, ya karne lage hain. Lekin relationship mein kuch waqt bitane ke baad humari feelings ab kuch aur ho gayi hain unke liye.

Kul mila kar, hum relationship mein puri tarah se satisfied aur khush nahi hote hain aur humein samajh nahi aata ki hum kaise is tarah ki situation se deal karein. Kya karna humare liye sahi hoga aur kya nahi, kaise hum is pareshani se bahar niklenge, kaise hum sahi raaste par chalna shuru karenge. Inhi sab baaton ko soch soch kar hum bahut overthinking karne lagte hain.

Dekho, pareshan hone ki zaroorat nahi hai. Relationship mein aane se pehle aap jo mehsoos karte the, aaj agar aapko woh feelings nahi aa rahi hain, ya aapko aisa lagta hai ki aap ne jaldbaazi kardi kisi ko haan kehne ke liye, ya agar aap ne approach kiya tha, tab bhi aapko aisa lagta hai ki aapne jaldbaazi kardi relationship mein aane ke liye, toh ab jo batane jaa raha hoon woh dhyaan se padho.

Agar relationship mein aaye ho toh kuch na kuch mehsoos hua hi hoga, kisi ko commit kiya hai toh bina waqt diye abhi se is relationship ko khatam karne ke baare mein mat socho. Thoda waqt do us shaqs ko, uske bhi emotions ko samjho, uski feelings ki bhi kadr karo.

Pehle thoda waqt do, kya pata us shaqs ki baatein ya cheezein aapko samajh aane lagein, usmein aapko apna life partner dikhe ya ek bharosemand insaan dikhe, agar aisa ho jaye toh zaroorat hi nahi padegi relationship ko khatam karne ki.

Lekin iske bawajood bhi aapko koi feelings nahi aa rahi hain uske liye ya kisi bhi tarah ka connection nahi ban raha aapki side se aapke kaafi try karne ke baad bhi, toh ussey confess karo yeh sab, usey sach sach batao. Bhale hi us insaan ko bura lage ya uska dil toote, lekin usey dhoke mein rakh kar toh aap uske saath aur bhi bura kar rahe ho.

Usey batao jo bhi sachchai hai aapki feelings ki, aur uske saath aapka jo bhi rishta hai usey khatam karo, kyunki aise rishte mein rehne ka koi fayda nahi hai jisme pyaar hi na ho.

Agar situation yeh hai ki aap ke relationship mein aane se pehle woh shaqs kuch aur tha aur ab woh kuch aur ho gaya hai, aur aisa ban gaya hai jo aapko pareshan karta hai alag alag roop mein, na aapko samay deta hai na aapki koi izzat karta hai, tab bhi aise rishte ko badhava dene ka koi fayda nahi hai.

Jahan tak lagta hai ki aap koshish kar sakte ho ya ussey baat kar ke usey mauka de kar, aap in cheezon ko thik kar sakte ho, tab tak koshish kar lo. Lekin jaha aapko lage ki, woh insaan har hadd paar kar chuka hai aapko pareshan karne ki, toh aise rishte mein zyada waqt aur efforts dene ka koi fayda nahi hai.

Aise rishton ko jald se jald khatam kar dena chahiye aur khuli hawa mein saans leni chahiye. Aise rishte sirf aur sirf humein andar se kamzor banate hain aur inme humara dum ghutta hain. Kayi baar hota hai ki ek insaan relationship ki shuruwaat se hi—matlab bas kuch din hi beete hain—woh buri tarah se pareshan karna shuru kar deta hai aur kabhi kabhi uske baare mein aisi cheezein pata chalti hain jo usne chhupayi hoti hain, jiska aapko andaza bhi nahi hota.

Kisi insaan ki sachchai hi kayi baar humara mann kharaab kar deti hai, toh agar dikh raha hai ki, yeh insaan theek nahi hai aur iske saath reh kar aapki khushiyan badhne ki bajaye kam ho rahi hain aur dukh badhte ja rahe hain, toh aise insaan ka saath chhod dena hi humari rooh ko nayi zindagi dene jaisa hota hai.

Overthinking mat karo ki kya karun, kaise karun. Agar aapko lagta hai ki aap ek problem mein fase hue ho, toh solution bhi aap ke saamne hai. Usey implement karo aur apne aap ko is problem se bahar nikalo.

Partner Ke Friends Ke Saath Issues

Duniya mein bahut se log, chahe woh ladka ho ya ladki, kabhi bardasht nahi kar paatein hai ki unke partner unke opposite gender ke friends ke kareeb ho, chahe kitni hi genuine dosti kyun na ho. Aksar yeh dekha jaata hai ki ek partner ko doosre partner ke friends se problems hone lagti hain, issues hone lagte hain.

Un dono ka aapas mein baat karna, time spend karna, hasi-mazaak karna, unhein zyada pasand nahi aata. Khaas kar jo best friends hote hain, jinhein partners zyada time dete hain, zyada attention dete hain, aur zyada importance dete hain.

Jealousy hone lagti hai unhein, bardasht nahi hoti yeh cheez ek partner ko ki itni zyada importance kyun de rahe hain woh apne friend ko. Bhale hi aapka partner aapko kitni hi importance kyun na dede, sabse zyada hi kyun na dede, lekin agar woh kisi aur ko bhi bahut upar rakhte hain apni zindagi mein, toh dikkatein hona shuru ho jaati hain.

Aksar yeh bhi dekha jaata hai ki partners humare doston se dosti tudwa bhi dete hain kisi na kisi bahane, koi na koi aisi situation create kar dete hain ki hum apni dosti tod dete hain. Ya woh seedhe seedhe mana kar dete hain ki ussey baat nahi karni hai aaj ke baad. Wajah bata dete hain ki uski niyat tumhein lekar theek nahi hai, ya woh achcha insaan nahi hai aur humari relationship ko bachane ke liye humein aisa karna bhi padta hai.

Agar aap ek aise insaan hain jisko apne partner ke doston ke saath issues hain, ya aap ek aise insaan hain jiske partner ko aapke doston ke saath issues hain, dono hi situations mein aap overthinking bahut karte honge. Koi insaan yeh sochta hoga ki uske partner ki wajah se uske doston se dosti kharab ho rahi hai, woh door ho rahe hain apne doston se, toh koi yeh sochta hoga ki uske partner apne doston ko kaafi zyada importance de rahe hain, zaroorat se zyada. Aisa bhi hota hai ki aapke partner relationship mein hone ke bawajood bhi apne doston ko aap se zyada importance dete hain.

Yeh sab baatein aapke dil aur dimaag mein chinta ki wajah ban jaati hain aur aap bahut zyada overthinking karne lagte hain. Pareshan hone lagte hain ki is tarah ki situation ke saath kaise deal karein, kaise usey samjhein aur kaise saamne wale shaqs ko samjhayein.

Bahut zyada sochte ho ya nahi bhi sochte ho, par jab-jab yeh situation aati hai, aapka dimaag kharab hone lagta hai, aap pareshan ho jaate hain. Khair, chinta ki koi bhi baat nahi hai, yeh bhi ek problem hai, aur is problem ko bhi humein kisi na kisi tarah solve toh karna hi padega.

Yahan maine chaar alag-alag situations ki baat kari hai, ek-ek karke unki problems ke solution pe baat karenge taaki aap ke dimag ko shanti mile.

Aapke partner ke friend se jealous hona

Agar aap sirf apne partner ke friend se jealous hote hain, aapko un dono ka zyada baat karna nahi pasand, un dono ka milna nahi pasand, ek saath time spend karna nahi pasand, aur us jealousy ki wajah se aapke partner or aapki kayi baar ladai hui hai, nok-jhok hoti rehti hai toh isme galat aap hain, apke partner nahi.

Agar aapke partner ki koi galat intention nahi hain, us dost ki bhi koi galat intention nahi hai, aur woh dono kaafi achchi bond share karte hain, toh aise mein aapko apne upar control karna hoga. Kisi ki bhi genuine friendship khatam karana achchi baat nahi hoti. Agar aap apne partner ko uske khaas doston se door karenge, toh aapke partner bhi akele pad jayenge. Unhein sirf ek relationship ki zaroorat nahi hai, unhein doston ke saath ki bhi zaroorat hai.

Doston ki apni jagah hoti hai humari zindagi mein. Aur agar aap us jagah ko khatam karne ki koshish karenge sirf apni jealousy ke chakkar mein, toh aapke partner bahut akele pad jayenge. Ek insaan saare roles nahi nibha sakta, doston ka role doston ko nibhane dena chahiye, aur partner ka role partner ko nibhana chahiye. Haan, aap achche dost bano apne partner ke, is mein koi dikkat nahi hai, lekin unke maujuda doston ko unse door mat karo.

Aise mein humare partner bhale hi yeh show na karein, par woh andar hi andar akela mehsoos karne lagenge. Kisi bhi cheez ko jab aap kisi se door karogey, toh uski tadap aur zaroorat bhi badhti hai, woh aas paas rahegi, toh fir bhi itni zaroori nahi lagegi. Ek insaan us insaan ke aur bhi zyada kareeb aane lagta hai dooriyan badhne ke baad, uski tadap badhne lagti hai.

Is fact ko accept karo ki aapke partner ka ek dost hai, aur ussey aapko koi bhi problem nahi honi chahiye. Agar woh aap dono ke beech mein problem create kar raha hai toh zaroor apne partner ko is cheez ke liye samjhao ki woh aap dono ke beech mein na aaye, par dosti tudwana phir bhi ek solution nahi hai.

Aapke partner ke friends theek nahi hain

Agar aapke partner ke friends ya friend jinko lekar aap pareshan hote ho, woh theek nahi hain, woh aapke partner ka galat istemaal karte hain, unki achchai ka galat fayda uthate hain, unki niyat theek nahi kisi bhi mamle mein, toh aisi situation mein aap apne partner se baat kariye aur unhein samjhaiye ki woh jo bhi kar rahe hain theek nahi kar rahe hain.

Kisi insaan ko samjhana sab se pehla step hota hai, aap unse baat kariye, unhein samjhaiye, agar aap dono mein achchi understanding hai, toh woh zaroor aapki baat samjhenge aur manenge, par aksar aisa hota nahi hai aur in baaton par aapke partner aur aapki ladaiya ho jaati hain.

Dekho, agar samjhane se ek insaan nahi samajh raha aur aapko pura yakeen hai ki, woh shaqs jiske liye aap apne partner ko samjha rahe ho, woh wakayi mein galat hai toh, sabr karo aur uska asli chehra saamne aane do. Jab koi samjhane se na samjhe toh, usko samna karne dena chahiye, usey rokna nahi chahiye, jab tak woh thokar nahi khayega, tab tak usey ehsaas bhi nahi hoga ki, aap sahi the aur woh galat.

Itna overthinking mat karo is cheez par. Apne dimaag ko itna uljhao mat in baaton mein. Thokrein khane se insaan sambhalta hai, aur thokrein khani bhi zaroori hain, waqt do us cheez ko hone ke liye, agar koi galat hai toh, der saver ye saabit ho hi jayega ki, woh galat hai, aur jo nahi hai, woh bhi waqt ke saath saath saabit ho hi jaata hai.

Ho sakta hai aapko galat fehmi ho kisi cheez ko lekar, aisa hona bhi mumkin hai, isliye agar samjhane se ek insaan nahi samajh raha hai toh, sabr kar lo, aur intezaar karo us pal ka jab yeh saabit ho jayega ki woh dost galat hai, ya aap galat soch rahe ho.

Aapke partner apne friends ko zyada value dete hain

Rishte ki shuruwaat toh bahut achchi hui, aapko bahut zyada importance bhi mili, bahut respect bhi mili, aapko bilkul palkon par baitha ke rakha gaya, aapko sabse zyada priority mili, aapki har ek cheez, aur har ek baat maani gayi. Jo shuruwaat mein ek couple ke beech hota hai, woh sab kuch hua, lekin ek samay ke baad aapne yeh mehsoos karna shuru kar diya ki aapke partner ab aap se bhi zyada priority apne kisi ek dost ko ya doston ko de rahe hain.

Inhi sab wajahon se aap dono ke beech kaafi zyada ladai-jhagde bhi hote aa rahe hain, aaye din jab bhi aap dekhte hain ki woh apne doston ko aage rakh rahe hain, unki baatein zyada maan rahe hain aapke mukable, toh aapko insecurity feel hone lagti hai.

Kyunki, aapko aisa mehsoos hota hai ki, aap dono ka rishta sabse pehle aata hai kisi bhi rishte se, jab aapke barabar ya zyada kisi aur ko darja milega ya aap khud ko replace hota hua dekhenge, toh zaahir hai aapko takleef hogi hi.

Aisi situation mein jaha aapke partner apne doston ko zyada importance de rahe hain aur aapko kam, iska ek matlab yeh bhi hai ki unhone aapko for granted le liya hai. Kyunki jab ek insaan ki zindagi mein aapki value kam hoti hai tabhi woh aap se upar logon ko rakhne lagta hai. Aise mein aapko unki zindagi mein apni ehmiyat ko badhana hai.

Aur ehmiyat badhane ke liye sabse zyada zaroori hota hai thodi si doori banana. Jab tak aap unse sara waqt baat karte rahoge, unka intezaar karte rahoge, hamesha pehle baat karne ke liye aage aaoge, hamesha unki har baat par haan mein haan milaoge, kabhi apne liye, ya apne saath ho rahe galat ke khilaaf stand nahi loge, toh unki zindagi mein aapki ehmiyat kaha reh jayegi?

Khud ke liye stand lena padta hai, kisi ki zindagi mein apni ehmiyat badhane ke liye khud ko aage aur pehle rakhna hota hai. Unki galtiyon par baar-baar jhukna band karo, apni self-respect ka dhyaan rakho, insaan chahe kitna hi kareeb aur apna kyun na ho jaaye, woh kabhi bhi humari self-respect se upar nahi hota. Humari self-respect se upar duniya mein koi nahi, kuch bhi nahi hota.

Jab aapki value badhegi toh woh aapko apne aap doston se zyada importance denge. Lekin agar aapki value hone ke baad bhi woh apne doston ko zyada importance de rahe hain, toh aise mein aap unhein samjhaiye, unhein bataiye ki aap kaisa feel karte hain jab bhi woh aapke upar doston ko rakhte hain. Unhein apne dard ke baare mein bataiye, ki yeh sab aapko bahut zyada hurt karta hai.

Agar is sab ke baad bhi aap dekh rahe hain ki unke upar koi asar nahi ho raha, toh yahan par do hi raaste bachte hain. Ya toh aap is fact ko accept kar lo ki unki zindagi mein doston ke liye bahut badi jagah hai aur adjust karlo. Ya phir aap apne liye stand lo aur unse door ho kar unhein yeh ehsaas dilao ki aap aise rishte ko continue nahi kar sakte jis rishte mein aapko woh darja nahi mil raha hai, jo aap deserve karte ho aur jo aapka hona chahiye.

Kisi bhi insaan ke liye agar uske dost itne zyada zaroori hongey ki woh aapko chhodne tak ke liye tayaar ho jaye, toh samajh lena ki aap unki zindagi mein bahut zyada neeche stand karte aaye ho ab tak. Jo insaan aise kisi reason ki wajah se aapko chhodne tak ke liye tayyar ho jaye, aap se door hone ke liye tayyar ho jaye, aise insaan se door ho jaana hi behtar hai.

Kyunki aisi situation mein aapko woh khushi aur respect kabhi nahi milegi jo aap deserve karte ho, jo aapko milni chahiye. Aap is cheez se compromise karte rahogey aur ghut-ghut ke jeete rahogey, toh ussey behtar hai ki aap aise insaan se is rishte ko khatam kar hi dein.

Jiski zindagi mein humari wo jagah nahi hain jaisi jagah unki humari zindagi mein hain, aise rishte mein rehne se behtar hai ya toh akele raho, ya kisi aise insaan ke saath raho jo kabhi aapko aisa feel na karaye.

Jab woh kisi ek dost ko zaroorat se zyada importance dete hain

Ek aur bahut hi aam situation dekhi jaati hai ki jab bhi humare partner apne kisi ek dost ko bahut zyada importance dete hain, aur kaafi zyada kareebiyan bhi hoti hain unke beech, jo dekhne mein toh dosti jaisi lagti hai, magar woh dosti se zyada hoti hai ya ho rahi hoti hai. Yeh bhi ek aisa doubt hai jo humein kaafi baar pareshan kar deta hai, khaas kar tab jab woh dost partner se doosre gender ka ho, toh humein insecurity bahut hoti hai.

Dekho, agar aapke partner kisi aur se bahut zyada close hain, kehte toh yeh hain ki woh best friend hai aur reality mein un dono ke beech kuch chal raha hai, toh woh cheez unke actions mein dikh hi jayegi. Dosti kaisi hai aur kaisi nahi, yeh pata lagaane ke kayi tareeke hote hain. Baat karte hain ek-ek kar ke:

Agar aapke partner apne dost ke saath zyada samay bita rahe hain, woh samay bhi jo aapke saath hona chahiye, woh aapko ignore kar ke unke saath bahar zyada aana-jaana pasand karte hain, aap se bahane bana ke jaate hain, phone zyadatar unhi ke saath busy rehta hai—matlab kul-mila ke woh shaqs aap se zyada samay apne best friend ko de rahe hain, toh yeh ek sign hai ki un dono ke beech dosti se kuch zyada hi hai, ya woh aapke saath rehne mein ab aur interested nahi hain.

Woh samay-samay par, baat-baat pe unse related jhooth bolte hain, cheezein chhupate hain, unke liye bahut zyada ladte hain aap se, ya aap dono saath ho toh woh unke saath khade hone mein zyada proud feel karte hain, unke saath physical connection banane ki koshish karte hain, yeh bhi signs hai ki un dono ke beech dosti se kuch zyada hi hai.

Agar aapne un dono ki koi conversation padh li hai jisme dosti se kuch zyada hi close hone jaisi baatein ho rakhi hain, ya us dost ke saath conversations deleted hain, to yeh bhi signs hai ki un dono ke beech kuch aisa hai jo woh aapko pata nahi chalne dena chahte.

Ek insaan ki aankhein aur chehra bahut kuch kehte hain, jab bhi unke baare mein baat hoti hai aap dono ke beech, toh unke chehre par ek ajeeb sa darr, ek ajeeb si ghabrahat dikhayi zaroor deti hai. Insaan aankhein churata hai jab bhi jhooth bolta hai ya kuch chhupa raha hota hai. Aise signs ko bhi ignore nahi karna chahiye.

Kabhi bhi aap kuch aisa dekh lo ya sun lo, ya sirf mehsoos bhi kar rahe ho, aur agar aap us baare mein baat karte hain, toh woh ignore karte hain, ya baat ko kaatne ki koshish karte hain, toh yeh bhi ek aisa sign hai jisko kam se kam aap ignore mat karo. Woh is baare mein baat karne se bachna chahenge hamesha. Kyunki baaton-baaton mein aksar insaan kuch aisi baatein bol jaata hai, jo shaq paida karti hain.

Yeh kuch signs hain jo agar aapko dikhayi dete hain ya mehsoos hote hain, toh kahin na kahin koi na koi baat ho sakti hai un dono ke beech. Lekin agar aisa kuch bhi nahi hai, toh apne dimaag ko shaant zaroor karna. Kyunki kuch na hote hue bhi jo shaq karne lagta hai, woh insaan hota hai. Humari insecurity bahut kuch dikhati hai humein, bahut kuch mehsoos karati hai humein.

Bewajah shaq karna bhi galat hai. Do log sirf dost bhi reh sakte hain, zaroori nahi ki dosti gehri hai toh kuch na kuch hoga unke beech. Bas, har rishte ki ek seema hoti hai, dhyaan rakhein ki woh us seema ko na todein, aur na aap us tooti seema ko nazarandaaz karein.

Partner ke Friend se Pyaar ho Jaana

Ek samay aisa bhi aata hai jab hum apne partner ke kisi dost se attract hone lagte hain. Hum chahte nahi the ki kabhi aisa ho aur na hi hum aaj chahte hain, lekin na jaane kyun koi ek cheez hai jo shayad humein uski ore attract karne lagti hai. Apne partner se bahut pyaar hone ke bawajood bhi humara dimaag na jaane kyun kisi aur ke baare mein sochne lagta hai.

Shayad us friend ka aap dono ki zindagi mein zyada involvement hone ki wajah se aisa ho raha hai ya aapko woh achcha lagne laga ek-do baar mil ke, ya kisi tarah ki madad ke baad uske baare mein aap pehle se zyada sochne lage. Kul mila ke, aap apne partner ke friend ki ore khich rahe hain, woh pyaar bhi ho sakta hai aur sirf attraction bhi ho sakta hai, jo bhi hai, yeh hai toh galat hi. Kyunki, aap aisa karke apne partner ko dhokha de rahe hain, uske sath bewafai kar rahe hain.

Aapka partner jo aap par bahut bharosa karta hai, agar usey pata chalega ki aap uske peeche uske dost ke saath mil jhul rahe hain ya baatein kar rahe hain, aisi baatein jo doston ke beech nahi hoti, jo dosti se badhkar hoti hain, ya aapke baat karne ke peeche ki niyat ab kuch aur ho chuki hai, toh wakayi mein woh bahut toot jayega, kyunki woh shaqs aapse bahut pyaar karta hai.

Agar yeh jaane-anjaane mein ho gaya hai toh chinta ki baat nahi hai. Aapko is naye rishte ko khatam karna hoga, us insaan ke baare mein sochna band karna hoga aur uski taraf jaana band karna hoga. Kyunki is sab ka bura asar padega aapki relationship par.

Issey pehle ki yeh aage badhe, isey wahin rok do, baat karna band kar do us insaan se jiske liye aapke mann mein feelings aane lagi hain. Milna-jhulna band kar do, har tarah se usko door kar do, woh chahe tab bhi, na chahe tab bhi, aap chaho tab bhi, aur na chaho tab bhi. Kyunki yeh sab kuch jo aapka permanent relationship hai, usko barbaad kar dega.

Jitna aap us insaan se baatein karogey, milogey, utni aapki feelings grow hongi aur aap phir control nahi kar paogey apne jazbaat, jo ki bahut galat ho jayega. Jitna dhyaan aap us shaqs ke upar laga rahe ho, ab woh aap apne partner ke upar lagao.

Aap kyun aaj tak apne partner ke saath the? Kyun aapne is rishte ki shuruwaat kari? Kaise yahan tak le kar aaye? Bhale hi mushkil tha safar, lekin jo bhi tha, bahut khubsoorat tha, us har ek baat ko dobara dohrao, aap dono ke beech jo spark tha usey dobara jagao, unse judi saari achchi baatein aur yaadon ke baare mein socho.

Zyada se zyada samay do apne partner ko, unke saath bahar jao, personal time bitao unke saath, unhein achcha feel karane ki koshish karo. Dhyaan dheere dheere hi hatega, lekin yeh sab cheezein jab aap realize karogey, toh apne aap dhyaan aapke partner ke upar aane lagega.

Waqt zaroor lagta hai is sab mein, lekin kam se kam aap ek sahi direction mein hogey, sahi kaam kar rahe hoge, aur is sab se aapki relationship, jo kahin na kahin kamzor ho gayi thi, woh phir se majboot hone lagegi.

Partner ke Friend se Pyaar Hona, Aur Partner ke Saath Rishta Kharab Hona

Ab isi mein baat karte hain doosri situation ki. Maan lein ki, aapke apne partner ke saath relations achche nahi chal rahe hain, aap dono ke beech mein bahut problems chal rahi hain aur din par din badhti ja rahi hain, rukne ka naam hi nahi le rahi. Aur is beech aap apne partner ke friend se milte hain, woh aapko pasand aa jaate hain aur unke liye feelings grow honi shuru ho jaati hain.

Dekho, relationship ko khatam karna aur dobara kisi aur ke saath relationship mein aa jaana, yeh option toh aap kabhi bhi choose kar sakte hain. Agar apne partner ko chhodne ki bajaye ek baar apne partner ke saath jo bhi problems chal rahi hain unke baare mein sochein, aur aap dono milke unhein theek karne ki koshish karein, toh aapko rishta todne ki zaroorat nahi padegi.

Har rishte mein utar chadhav aate hain, aise phases aate hain jab aap apne partner ki shakal dekhna bhi pasand nahi karte, lekin phir bhi rishte ko tod dena ek solution nahi hota. Koshish karo aakhir tak nibhaane ki aur rishte ko theek karne ki, dono milke problems ka solution nikalo taaki aapki relationship healthy reh sake.

Aur ek baat hamesha yaad rakhna, koi bhi insaan perfect nahi hota, jo insaan aaj aapko achcha lag raha hai, perfect lag raha hai, usme bhi koi na koi kami hogi. Toh yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki jiske liye aap aaj kisi ko chhodne ke baare mein soch rahe hain, kal ko phir aise kisi mod par aake khade ho jayein aap ki, usmein bhi aapko kamiyan dikhein.

Lekin agar is sab ke bawajood bhi aap khush nahi hain apne partner se, aur aap dono hi ek doosre se puri tarah frustrate ho chuke hain aur ab raha nahi jaata, ya woh aap par bahut zyada zulm karne lage hain, toh aap ek sahi tareeke se bhi bahar aa sakte hain aise rishte se.

Isme koi shaq nahi hain ki toxic relationships humari zindagi mein zeher ghol deti hain aur humein unhein khatam karna hi chahiye chahe kuch bhi ho jaye, aur agar aapki relationship bhi toxic ho chuki hai toh, aapko bhi bahar aana chahiye aise rishte se, lekin sahi tareeke se.

Apne partner ko dhokha de kar nahi, balki uske saath officially cheezein khatam kar ke, agar aap married hain toh divorce de kar, aur agar aap unmarried hain toh unhein bata ke aur mutually is relationship ko end kar ke. Aur phir uske baad aap akele rahein ya kisi aur ke saath, yeh aapki marzi hai, lekin tareeke se bahar aaiye is rishte se.

Kyunki galat raaste chunna na hi sirf humare andar ek guilt paida karta hai, balki humare karmon ko bhi kharaab karta hai. Humare upar ek tag lag jaata hai ki hum dhokhebaaz hain, aur agar aap ek sachcha pyaar karne wale, mann ke saaf insaan hain, toh aapko yeh tag chain ki neend sone nahi dega. Isliye bahar zaroor nikliye ek toxic relationship se, bas tareeka sahi hona chahiye.

Second Chances

Aksar humare mann mein ek sawaal gunjta hai: ‘Kya mujhe usey ek aur mauka dena chahiye?’ Is sawaal ke peeche hum apna dimaag itna kharch karte hain ki hum buri tarah se pareshan ho jaate hain.

Kabhi kabhi humein aisa lagta hai ki kaash upar se bhagwan aake humein humare is sawaal ka jawaab de dein ki humein is shaqs ko second chance dena chahiye ya nahi? Kyunki yeh ek aisa point hota hai jahan se humare relationship ki ek nayi shuruwaat hone wali hoti hai, aur hum is baar chahte nahi ki humse kisi bhi tarah ki koi bhool ho aur na hi hum saamne wale shaqs se umeed karte hain ki woh kisi bhi tarah ki galti kare.

Second chance dena chahiye ya nahi, is sawaal se pehle ye baat samajhna zyada zaroori hai ki jo bhi us insaan ne aapke saath kiya hai, kya woh sab kuch bhool ke woh insaan maaf karne ke layak hai? Agar aapko lagta hai ki haan, yeh aisi cheez hai jo itni badi galti nahi hai us shaqs ki aur usme kabiliyat hai is cheez ko sudharne ki aur apne andar bhi sudhaar laane ki, toh aap zaroor us insaan ko ek aur mauka de do.

Lekin agar aapko lagta hai ki nahi, yeh galti koi galti nahi hai, yeh jaanboojh ke kiya gaya hai aapka dil dukhane ke liye, aur ek bahut badi galti hai jiske liye koi maafi nahi ho sakti, toh aap zaroor us insaan ko second chance mat dijiye. Kyunki har galti galti nahi hoti, aur har galti ki maafi nahi hoti.

Ab sawaal yeh aata hai ki us insaan ne kiya kya hai. Dekho, ek insaan ko maaf tab tak karna chahiye jab tak usne kuch aisi cheez nahi ki hai jissey us insaan ki aapke liye loyalty toot gayi hai. Maan lete hain ki usne aapko cheat kiya aur aapko pata chal gaya, ab wo aapke paas aake aap ko manane ki koshish kar raha hai, maafi maang raha hai, aapke aage gidgida raha hai ki, maaf kar do, aage se nahi hoga.

Aisi situations mein woh insaan na hi aapki maafi deserve karta hai aur na hi second chance. Aap ek baar usey maaf kar dena, lekin kabhi usey second chance mat dena. Apne aap ko aisa shaqs kabhi mat banana jisey koi dhokha de de, lekin woh phir bhi usi ke intezaar mein khada rahega.

Yeh aisa hoga jaise aapne unhein dobara aapko goli maarne ka mauka de diya, kyunki unke pehle waar se aap mare nahi, sirf ghayal hue. Jo shaqs ek baar dhokha dene ki himmat kar sakta hai, woh maafi milne par dobara dhokha dene ki himmat bhi kar sakta hai.

Ab ‘cheat’ hai kya? Log apne mann se har choti se choti baat ko cheating declare kar deta hain. Kisi aur se baat karna bhi unke liye cheating hai, ya kisi ke saath kahin jaana bhi cheating hai. Aisa nahi hai, cheating sirf woh hoti hai jab unka kisi aur ke saath affair hota hai ek relationship mein hone ke baad bhi.

Woh hosh mein aise kadam utha lete hain jisme unko pata hai ki woh ek saath do logon ke saath physical ya emotional relationship mein hain. Ya ek aisi situation jahan ek insaan doosre shaqs ke peeche kisi galat niyat se laga hua hai relationship mein rehne ke baad bhi.

Agar kisi insaan ke saath unconsciousness yaani behoshi ki haalat mein kuch galat ho jaaye aur usko doosra insaan galat tarah se show kar de aapko, toh woh cheating nahi hogi, kyunki, cheating pure hosh mein hi ki jaati hai.

Aisi kisi situation, jahan par unko fasane ki koshish ki jaa rahi hai fake ya unauthentic proofs ke saath, woh cheating nahi hoti hai. Aisi situations mein galatfehmiyan zaroor ho jaati hain, lekin aapko apne partner ke upar bhi bharosa karna padta hai, agar aapko ye dikhe ki koi jaanboojh ke aap dono ko alag karne ki koshish kar raha hai.

Aisi har situation jahan cheezein jaanboojh kar banayi jaa rahi hain aapke partner ko fasane ke liye un mein second chance deserve karte hain aapke partner, agar yeh saabit ho jaye ki woh doshi nahi bekasoor hain.

Dekhiye, ek cheez samajhni bahut zaroori hai ki rishte bahut naazuk hote hain, bilkul phool ke jaise, unme bahut zyada gunjayish hoti hai toot ke bikhar jaane ki. Kayi baar apne toh kayi baar bahar ke log todne ki koshish karte hain aapke rishte ko. Yahan pe aapko bahut zyada samajhdari ke saath kaam lena padta hai aur samajhna padta hai ki aakhir sahi kaun hai, aapka partner ya woh log jo unhein galat prove karne ki koshish kar rahe hain.

Aisi naazuk situations mein bhale hi dimaag kaafi kharaab ho, lekin faisle soch-samajhke hi liye jaate hain. Isliye kisi bhi haalat mein overthinking na karein aur baareeki se samjhein puri situation ko, har insaan ki baat suniye, apne partner ko bhi suniye aur unko bhi jo aapko unke khilaaf sabut pesh kar rahe hain.

Cheating ke cases mein jaise hi yeh prove ho jaye ki, haan aapka partner galat hai, unhone aapko dhokha diya hai, us case mein aap unhein kisi bhi roop mein second chance mat do aur usey apna break-up hi samjho. Lekin agar yeh prove nahi ho paaya ki aapke partner galat hain toh apne bharose ko tootne mat do aur apne partner ka saath mat chhodo, kisi keemat par nahi.

Baaki cheating ke alawa koi aur situation hai, toh aap unhein ek mauka de sakte hain. Bas depend karta hai ki woh galti kitni baar repeat ho chuki hai, agar bahut zyada baar repeat ho rahi hai toh aap unhein punish karo, thode din na maaf karke, thode din unhein pareshan hone de, unhein tadapne de, kyunki maafi bhi itni asaani se nahi deni chahiye, uske peeche bhi struggle hona chahiye taaki us maafi ke milne ki keemat, uski sahi ehmiyat pata chal sake.

Hum jaldi jaldi maaf kar ke logon ke mann mein aksar yeh ehsaas jaga dete hain ki galti chahe kaisi bhi ho, badi, choti jaisi bhi, maafi toh mil hi jayegi. Logon ko kabhi yeh mat ehsaas hone do ki unhein maaf karna aapki kamzori hai. Unhein yeh ehsaas bhi hona chahiye ki aap se maafi milna ek bahut keemti aur mushkil cheez hai, toh woh shaqs zyada sambhal ke rahega agli baar se.

Aur agar aap ek aisi situation mein aa kar khade ho gaye hain jahan aap us insaan ko pichle kayi saalon se mauke dete aa rahe hain aisi kuch cheezon ko karna band karne ke liye ya rokte aa rahe hain kisi cheez ke liye, uske baad bhi woh shaqs aapko har baar promise kar ke wahi sab karne lagta hai, aur ab aapke bardasht ke bahar ho chuki hain yeh sab cheezein, toh aap usey chhodne ka faisla bhi le sakte hain. Kyunki aap itna toh azmaa chuke hain us insaan ko ki, jis cheez se aapko nafrat hai, jis cheez ke saath aap compromise nahi kar sakte, us cheez ko woh insaan chhodne ke liye tayyar nahi hai, aise mein aapko bhi samajh lena chahiye ki woh jaise hain, waise hi rahenge, ab aapko faisla lena hai ki aap us cheez ke saath compromise karenge, ya unhein chhodne ka faisla lenge.

Conclusion yahi nikalta hai ki overthinking jab baat second chance ki aaye toh itni nahi karni chahiye, uski bajaye yeh samajhna chahiye ki aakhir woh insaan kitna kaabil hai doosre mauke ke, us insaan ne kiya kya hai, aap dono ka bond kaisa hai, kaisi chemistry share karte hain, kaisi relationship hai aap dono ki, us ke basis par hi second chance diya jaata hai.

Sochna zaroori hai, par zaroorat se zyada sochne ki bhi zaroorat nahi hai. Log unpredictable hote hain, kuch nahi pata woh kya kar dein, aur kisi ki stability ki koi guarantee nahi hoti hai. Aap agar aaj kisi ke saath hain, toh aapko apne achche, bure har phase ke liye hamesha tayyar rehna hai. Second chance agar de bhi rahe ho toh yeh soch kar dena ki, puri tarah nirbhar nahi hona hai un par, woh rahein ya na rahein aapke saath, aapko har haal mein apni zindagi mein aage badhna hai.

Khone ka Darr Satana

Kabhi kisi ko khone ka darr sataya hai? Jaise jaise hum kisi ke saath relationship ke safar par chalna shuru karte hain, aage ki ore badhte chale jaate hain, ek saath grow hote hain, waise waise humare andar jo unke liye feelings hoti hain, woh aur bhi zyada strong ho jaati hain.

Un feelings ke strong hone ke saath-saath humara attachment bhi badh jaata hai aur hum unpe kaafi hadd tak depend hona shuru ho jaate hain. Unke liye humare dil mein jo bharosa hota hai, woh bhi majboot hone lagta hai.

Jab yeh relationship achche se aagey badh rahi hoti hai, toh hum puri tarah yeh maan lete hain ki hum ab unke bina nahi reh sakte. Lekin jab hum apne aas-paas couples ke breakup hote dekhte hain, hum alag ho jaane ke, rishte ke toot jaane ke khayal se hi itne pareshan ho jaate hain ki humein unko khone ka darr satane lagta hai aur hum is baat ko soch-soch ke overthink karne lagte hain.

Yeh overthinking, especially kisi ko khone ko lekar jo overthinking hum karte hain, humare relationship ko kaafi zyada ghayal kar deti hai. Uski wajah yeh hai ki jab humare dil mein kisi ko khone ka darr rehta hai, toh humare bartaav mein bhi badlaav aate hain, aur woh badlaav humare partner aur humare beech kaafi problems create karne lagte hain, jiski wajah se humari relationship kaafi bigadne lagti hai.

Humari intentions bhale hi galat na ho, lekin humare actions, humare words aise ho jaate hain ki humare partner aur humare beech kaafi zyada cheezein bigadne lagti hain, ladai-jhagde badh jaate hain, galatfehmiyan hone lagti hain, kaafi kuch hota hai sirf khone ke darr ki wajah se. Yeh ek choti si cheez kaafi zyada problems create kar deti hai isiliye hum isko lekar kaafi pareshan hone lagte hain.

Dekho, sabse pehli aur sabse zyada zaroori cheez jo samajhna behad zaroori hai, woh yeh hai ki na toh hum mein se kisi ne future dekha hai, na hum apne partner ko puri tarah samajh sakte hain, aur na hi hum unke dil aur dimaag ko padh sakte hain. Relationship mein aise kayi mod aate hain jaha humein lagta hai ki hum apne partner ko puri tarah samajh gaye hain, lekin aise bhi mod aate hain jaha woh achanak kuch aisa kar dete hain, jo humne kabhi bure se bure sapne mein bhi nahi socha hota hai, humara pura ka pura bharosa hi toot ke reh jaata hai.

Isliye koi bhi insaan kab tak saath hai aapke, yeh kisi ko nahi pata.

Pata chala aap soch ke baithe ho zindagi bhar ke saath ke baare mein aur aage chal ke kuch galat hua aur rishta toot gaya agle kuch saalon mein hi. Ya aap saari zindagi hi is darr mein jeete reh gaye ki aap unhein kho na dein, aur woh insaan aapke budhape tak saath rahe. Future bahut zyada uncertain hota hai, isliye humein kabhi bhi zaroorat se zyada future ke baare mein nahi sochna chahiye.

Khone ka darr satana banta hai, kyunki aap unke saath physically, emotionally aur mentally har tarah se attached hain. Lekin yeh bhi samajhna zaroori hai ki is darr ko apne upar haavi nahi hone dena hai. Jab bhi yeh darr sataye, us insaan se ek baar baat karlo, communicate karlo, unke paas chale jao, aisa kuch bhi karo jissey unka presence feel ho sake.

Lekin agar kisi wajah se yeh possible nahi ho pa raha hai toh, apne aapko thoda mentally strong karo, khud ko kisi ke upar dependent hone se roko, unki maujudgi ko ek bharose mein badlo. Zaroori yeh hai ki yeh insaan aaj hai aap ke saath, kal jab ayega toh dekhenge, jab tak hai tab tak toh jee lein khushi khushi. Kisi ke saath reh kar usey khone ka darr satana aisa ho gaya jaise aap kisi ke saath ho kar bhi nahi ho.

Log aate hain humari zindagi mein, aur khoob saari yaadein de kar chale jaate hain, aur humara darr baitha ka baitha reh jaata hai. Phir doosri taraf log aate hain humari zindagi mein aur humara saath puri zindagi nibhaate hain aur phir bhi darr humara baitha ka baitha reh jaata hai.

Fark samajh mein aaya? Fark yeh hai ki, kisi ka hona ya na hona aap ke darr se badlega nahi, jisko rehna hoga woh rahega, aur jisey nahi rehna hoga woh chala jayega, aapke usey khone ke darr se rukega nahi, isliye apne darr ko khatam karo, aur apni relationship ko enjoy karna shuru karo.

Yeh baat har tarah ke relationship par laagu hoti hai, chahe woh long-distance relationship ho ya live-in. Long distance mein bhi aksar darr satata rehta hai ki woh humse door reh ke kuch galat na kar raha ho, usey khone ka darr satata rehta hai, jo ki thik nahi hai.

Jab bhi aapka mann kharaab ho khone ke darr ko lekar, aap unse baat kar liya karo, ya unki koi tasveer dekh liya karo, ya koi video clip, aise mein aapka haunsla kaafi majboot hota hai. Iske alawa khudko samjhaya karo ki aaj saath hain toh khush rehna seekho, kal kisne dekha hai?

Aap apne mann ko laakh dara lo, saath nibhane wala nibhata hai, nahi nibhane wala nahi nibhata hai. Halaat saath dete hain tab bhi rishte tootne ho toh, toot jaate hain, aur na dein tab bhi. Relationships bahut hi zyada unstable hote hain, isliye kabhi bhi kisi bhi cheez ko itna bada mat banao mann mein ki, uska bojh bhi na sambhal sako.

Aur zaroori nahi hai kisi insaan ke kharaab bartaav ki wajah se rishte toot te hain, ya bharosa todne ki wajah se toot te hain, kayi baar dono mein se koi galat nahi hota, lekin, phir bhi rishte toot jaate hain. Kabhi society beech mein aa jaati hai, kabhi caste or religion toh kabhi parents hi accept nahi karte is rishte ko. Aisi situations mein bhi ek insaan aap se door ho hi jaata hai jab aap sab kuch kar ke bhi duniya ke aage jhuk jaate hain.

Relationship mein aaj jaisa beet raha hai waisa hi kal ho, aisa zaroori nahi. Agar aap kisi se emotionally bahut zyada attached bhi rahe hain tab bhi, puri tarah se kisi par kabhi bhi dependent nahi hona. Waqt jab tak achcha chal raha hai tab tak toh thik hai, lekin, jab bura aata hai, tabaahi machata hai, aur phir hum khud ko sambhaal bhi nahi paatey. Koshish karo apne mann ko har cheez, har situation ko face karne ke liye tayyar rakho, balance kar ke chalo rishto ko, apni mental stability ko aur apni expectations ko.

Break-up Hona

Ek relationship mein aise kayi mod aate hain jinke liye hum prepared nahi hote hain. Toh bahut si baar humein pata bhi hota hai ki yeh hoga zaroor lekin hum usey kabhi accept nahi kar paate. Aisi situations tab bhi aa sakti hain jab hum relationship mein hote hain, aur tab bhi jab humari relationship unke saath khatam ho chuki hoti hai.

Shayad ab jo main baat karne ja raha hu woh wahi situation hai jisko hum aaye din dekhte hain, sunte hain iske baare mein, padhte hain aur darte hain relationship mein rehte hue ki kahin humein yeh din dekhna na pad jaye.

Break-up. Shayad yeh lafz hi aisa hai jo kitnon ki zindagi badal ke rakh deta hai, kisi ko sahi raah dikha deta hai toh kisi sahi raah chalte shaqs ko bhatka deta hai. Break-up se pehle ki zindagi aur baad ki zindagi mein fark bahut aata hai, kayi baar toh itna fark aa jaata hai ki hum apne aapko hi puri tarah kho dete hain aur chhod aate hain peeche kahin.

Humara nazariya badal jaata hai, humara bartaav badal jaata hai, humari aadatein badal jaati hain, humari soch badal jaati hai aur sab kuch aisa badalta hai ki wapas hum waise reh hi nahi paatey jaise hum hua karte the.

Break-up humein andar se tod zaroor deta hai agar humne bahut zyada shiddat se us shaqs ko chaha tha. Lekin toot kar jab hum dobara judte hain, toh phir toot pana bahut mushkil ho jaata hai.

Bhale hi humara bahut kuch ujad jaata hai, jaise ki bharosa toot jaata hai logon par se, vishwaas uth jaata hai insaniyat se, unki baaton se, unke waadon se, unki mohabbat se, lekin yeh ujda hua sab kuch ek din phir judta hai, ya toh khud judta hai ya kisi ke jodne se judta hai.

Jahan baat overthinking ki aati hai toh shayad aisa koi waqt, koi lamha nahi hota jab hum overthinking na kar rahein ho. Unki judai se sawaalon ke bawandar mein fass ke reh jaate hain. Aise-aise sawaal jinka jawaab sirf woh de sakte hain par phir bhi bahut si baar humein milte nahi, aur mann ke kisi kone mein dabb ke reh jaate hain. Jawaab mil bhi jaaye toh zaroori nahi ki sach hi ho.

Jab hum break-up ke phase mein hote hain toh shayad humein aisa lagta hai ki hum kabhi nikal hi nahi paayenge, na ab kabhi dobara pyaar hoga, na kabhi kisi par bharosa hoga, na hum kabhi aage badh payenge, bas yahin fass ke reh jayenge, bahut saari suffering aur pain mein.

Beshaq ek lambe arse ke liye hum is zone mein chale jaate hain, lekin aisa bilkul bhi nahi hai ki hum fass ke reh jayenge. Jab bhi humare jism mein kahin chot lagti hai, toh humara jism us ghav ko bharne mein waqt zaroor leta hai, par der-saver woh thik ho hi jaata hai. Nishaan bhale hi reh jaye uska, lekin ek din aisa aata hai ki na usme dard rehta hai aur na hi uske jism par hone ka pata chalta hai. Usi tarah jab humara break-up hota hai toh beshaq shuruwaat mein bahut dard hota hai, lekin jaise-jaise waqt beetta hai, hum us shaqs se door hote hain, waise-waise humare zakhm jo break-up ke waqt hue the, woh bhi theek hone lagte hain.

Agar overthinking is baat par karte ho aur yeh sawaal aate hain ki, ‘Kya main is sab se bahar nikal paunga?’ ya phir, ‘Kya mujhe dobara kabhi pyaar ho payega?’, ‘Kya mujhe dobara kisi par bharosa ho payega?’, ‘Kya meri zindagi mein dobara koi ayega ya main ab bas akela reh jaunga?’, ‘Kya mujh mein koi kami hai?’

Aise kayi sawaal humein din-raat pareshan karte hain, aur in sawaalo, ke jawaab milte zaroor hain, lekin kaafi waqt ke baad. Hum agar yeh sochein ki turant har sawaal ka jawaab mil jaye, toh woh mumkin nahi hai, kyunki in sawaalon ke jawaab humein zindagi deti hai, waqt deta hai, aur humare experiences dete hain.

Haan, aap dobara pyaar kar sakogey, dobara ek shaqs aa sakta hai aapki zindagi mein, kabhi bhi, kahin bhi, zindagi ke kisi bhi mod pe aapki mulaqat phir kisi se hogi, shayad aaj aapko iski umeed na ho, lekin aisa hoga, zaroor hoga.

Apne dil ko puri tarah zanjeeron se jakad mat lena, usey azaad rakhna, uska khayal zaroor rakhna, usko protect zaroor karna, lekin usko zindagi bhar ke liye qaid mat kar lena. Aisa karogey toh ek aisa insaan jo aapka pyaar deserve karta hai, jo aapko deserve karta hai, aur jisey aap deserve karte ho, shayad aap usey pyaar de nahi sakogey, apna dil de nahi paaogey.

Break-up ke baad zaroor hum apne dil ko lock kar lete hain, aur karna bhi chahiye, lekin bas ek hadd tak, jab humein ek shaqs ke saath ek lamba arsa bitane ke baad yeh dikhe ki haan, yeh hai bharose ke layak, mohabbat ke layak, jo aap ke sirf ek chance ke liye tadpe, usey mauka dena chahiye, kyunki shayad isi cheez ki kami ho gayi hai is zamane mein.

Haan, aapko dobara bharosa ho payega ek naye shaqs pe. Bharosa kispe karna chahiye aur kispe nahi, is baat ka ehsaas toh shayad humein zindagi ke experiences hi karate hain. Apne bharose ko itna azaad aur asaan bhi mat banana ki kisi par bhi ho jaaye, aur aisa bhi mat banana ki kabhi kisi par bharosa hi na ho paaye, bewajah shaq ho aur har baat par ho. Na kisi par itni asaani se bharosa karo, aur na hi umeedon ke pul bandho.

Waqt lo kisi insaan ke saath reh kar usey parakhne ka, usey samajhne ka, uski soch kaisi hai, uski personality kaisi hai, is sab ko samajhne ka waqt lo. Aisa na ho ki abhi baat kare hue thode din ya hafte hi beete hain aur aap unki meethi-meethi baatein aur actions pe vishwaas karne lago.

Shuruwaat mein sab achha hi dikhate hain apne aap ko, koi apni kamiyon ko aapke saamne pesh nahi karega, koi apni kharaab aadaton ki itni asaani se bhanak nahi lagne dega. Waqt lagta hai logon ko apne asli rang-roop dikhane mein. Isliye kabhi bhi kisi ke saath relationship mein kuch chand baaton aur mulaqaaton ke turant baad nahi aana chahiye.

Waqt lo unko parakhne ka, samajhne ka, unke actions kya keh rahe hain, unki niyat kis taraf jaati nazar aa rahi hai. Doubt ho toh thaam lo khud ko, jaldbazi mein koi faisla mat lo, sawaal zindagi bitane ka hota hai, toh itni asaani se aur jaldi lena bhi nahi chahiye faisla. Bharosa hota hai, jab sab kuch sahi lagta hai toh bharosa bhi apne aap ho jaata hai, jo ek waqt pe lagta tha ki, dobara kabhi hoga nahi.

Haan, dobara koi na koi kabhi na kabhi aayega. Humari zindagi kisi ke jaane se thamti nahi, log aate hain aur kabhi na kabhi jaate bhi hain, yahi sach hai. Kaun ayega, kab ayega, yeh toh kisi ko nahi pata, lekin jab jo kismat mein hoga woh aayega zaroor, milega zaroor aur rahega bhi zaroor. Lekin kisko mauka dena hai aur kisko nahi, yeh soch-samajhke faisla lena, kyunki har woh insaan jo aapko vishwaas dilane ki koshish kare ki, woh aapke liye sahi hai, ya dil jeetne ki koshish kare, zaroori nahi ki wahi hai woh shaqs jiske saath aapko zindagi bitani chahiye. Log sirf aapko paane ke liye, ya aap ka galat fayda uthane ke liye, ya aapko istemal karne ke liye kisi bhi hadd tak chale jaate hain. Bas humein khaas khayaal rakhna hai apna, aur apne dil ka.

Kami ho bhi sakti hai aur nahi bhi. Aisa zaroori nahi ki samne wala shaqs agar break-up karke chala gaya toh wahi galat tha. Galat aap bhi ho sakte hain aur woh bhi, kami aap mein bhi ho sakti hai aur unme bhi. Kayi baar humein pata hota hai ki hum mein koi kami hai jiski wajah se humne unhein khoya, toh kayi baar hum anjaan hote hain apni kamzoriyon aur kamiyon se.

Perfect toh koi bhi nahi hota, hum sab mein koi na koi kami hoti hai, kuch hum sudhaar lete hain toh kuch humare bas mein nahi hoti, humari banawat hi aisi hoti hai. Humein hamesha apni kamiyon ko sudharne par focus karna chahiye. Agar kisi ko apni kisi kami ki wajah se khoya hai toh kasam kha lo aur us kami ko thik karo, kyunki, jaise aapne unhein khoya hai, aap aage kisi aur ko bhi kho sakte hain, jo ki thik nahi hai.

Lekin, kami kya hai? Agar koi insaan aapko yeh ehsaas dila kar ja raha hai ki aap mein khubsoorti ki kami hai, toh aisi situation mein aap mein khubsoorti ki kami nahi, balki us shaqs mein achchi soch aur achche nazariye ki kami hai. Jo insaan apne hi pyaar ko khubsoorat na bol ke badsoorat bole, woh shaqs aap se kabhi dil se pyaar na kar sakta hai aur na karega.

Humari shaklon aur jism ki banawat se humari khubsoorti nahi batayi jaati, humare mann ki safai aur achchi soch se hum khubsoorat bataye jaate hain, aur agar us shaqs mein itni bhi akal nahi hai toh aap itne immature aur ghatiya soch ke insaan ke saath reh kar apna waqt zaya kar rahe ho aur kuch nahi.

Agar aapne apni kisi kharaab aadat ki wajah se kisi ko khoya hai tab zaroor aapko apni us aadat ko khatam karna chahiye aur apne aapko sudhaarna chahiye taaki dobara mauka milne par unhein ya kisi aur ko unhi aadato ki wajah se na kho sakein.

Kayi baar log aapko blame karke chale jaate hain aur aap is soch mein doob jaate ho ki kya mujh mein koi kami hai? Ya kya maine sab galat kiya tha? Jaise jaise hum mature hote hain, waise waise humein sahi aur galat mein fark samajh aane lagta hai.

Aur jab aapko yeh fark samajh aayega, toh yeh bhi pata chalega ki aapne wakayi mein kuch galat kiya tha ya woh bas blame game khel rahe the, taaki woh bure na ban sakein aapki nazron mein.

Kuch logon ki fitrat hoti hai doosron ko unhi ki nazron mein girane ki, aur kuch logon ka nazariya hota hai khud ki galti na manne ka, ya ye na manne ka ki woh galat hain. Aapko aise mein khud pe blame nahi lene chahiye aur samajhna chahiye ki usey bas jaana tha toh badnaam kar ke chala gaya. Zaroori thodi hai ki agar koi kahe ki aap mein koi kami hai toh sach mein koi kami hogi hi. Kami usme bhi ho sakti hai aapko sahi nazariye se na dekh paane ki, ya na samajh paane ki.

Thande dimaag se sochoge toh woh har sawaal jisne aapki neend-chain sab chheena hua hai, uska jawaab aap hi ke paas hai. Bas humare saath dikkat yeh hai ki jab tak woh jawaab humari nazron ke samne na aa jaaye, tab tak hum bechain hote rehte hain, overthinking karte rehte hain.

Apne dimaag ko zara shaant karo, har sawaal ka jawaab waqt ke saath-saath mil jayega. Jo cheez life mein ab important hai us cheez pe focus karo aur waqt ko waqt do, waqt sab kuch theek kar dega.

Waqt har marz ki dawa hoti hai. Jab humein aisa lagta hai ki kuch thik nahi hoga, ya sab kharaab ho gaya, waqt ke saath saath zindagi wapas track par aa jaati hai, jo bhatke hue hum chal rahe hote hain, woh waqt ke saath saath sahi direction mein aa jaate hain. Bilkul pareshan hone ki zarurat nahi hai, aur bilkul bechain hone ki bhi zarurat nahi hai.

Is guzarte waqt mein aap ke andar bahut saare changes aa rahe hain, jo aapki aage ki zindagi ko behtar banayenge. Break-up se hum bahut kuch seekhte hain, khud ko importance dena, self-respect ko banaye rakhna, woh saari galtiyan jo humne kari thi us relationship ke dauran, unko sudhaarna. Yeh sab hota hua bhale hi dikhe nahi, lekin jab aaj se do-teen saal baad zindagi ke kisi modh pe ruk kar sochogey, toh dekhogey ki kahan se kahan aa gaye aur kitna kuch badal gaya us sab ke baad.

Break-up jab bhi hota hai toh uska koi na koi reason bhi hota hai, kya wajah thi jo us shaqs ne aapka saath chhoda, agar usne aapko chhoda hai aur wajah kuch bhi ho, toh thik hua. Kyunki, aisa insaan jo aaj aapka saath chhod sakta hai bhale hi kisi majburi mein hi sahi, toh aisa insaan aapka saath kabhi bhi, zindagi ke kisi bhi mod par, chhod sakta hai.

Aise mein khud ko yeh ehsaas dilana bahut zaroori hota hai ki jo bhi hua, achche ke liye hua. Aise log humein chhod sakte hain kabhi bhi aur jo aisa kar sakte hain, unke saath humein zindagi bitane ka faisla nahi lena chahiye, woh shaqs thik nahi hain.

Zindagi mein aane wala har shaqs kabhi na kabhi saath chhodta hai, koi bahut jaldi toh koi bahut der mein. Beshaq, hum unke saath jab waqt bitate hain, toh bahut saari khatti meethi yaadein bhi banate hain, aise kayi kisse bante hain humare unke saath jo kahin na kahin humare zehen mein reh jaate hain. Kuch baatein, kuch yaadein humein pareshan bhi karti hain, lekin dheere dheere woh sab kuch kisi kone mein dab jaata hai. Hum zindagi mein jitna aage badhte chale jaate hain, woh sab kuch humare khayalon se gayab hone lagta hai.

Khatam nahi hota, bhulte hum kuch nahi, na kisi shaqs ko, na uski di hui yaadon ko, na uske diye hue zakhmon ko. Lekin ek waqt ke baad woh sab kuch jo aaj humein pareshan kar raha hota hai, usse fark padhna band ho jaata hai. Na hum us baare mein sochte hain, kabhi kisi roz khayaal aa bhi jaaye, toh woh humein itna bechain nahi karta.

Overthinking mat karo, aur khud ke saath waqt bitao, thoda logon ke saath waqt bitao, apne doston, apni family ke saath waqt bitao. Woh sab kuch karo jo aapko karna achcha lagta hai, jisse aapko khushi milti hai, jo aapko woh shaqs rokta tha karne se, ya jo aap waqt rehte kar nahi paaye. Khud ko pehchaano, apni personality ko improve karo, aur waqt ko waqt do. Dekhna, ek din sab thik ho jayega.