Minf F**ked 2

 CHAPTER 1

Personal Life Mein Overthinking

Humari roz marra ki zindagi mein hum kitna zyada sochte hain. Kuch logon ki aadat itni zyada ho jaati hai overthink karne ki ke woh subah uthte hi, aankh khulte hi, kuch na kuch sochna shuru kar dete hain aur pareshan hone lagte hain. Jo unke saath subah subah hota hai, uske baare mein sara din sochte rehte hain.

Issey koi fark nahi padta ki aap kaise shaqs hain—aap bahut zyada overthinking karne wale hain ya thodi bahut karne wale. Aap kitna bhi sochein, lekin agar aap zaroorat se zyada soch rahe hain toh woh aapki mental health ke liye theek nahi hai.

Waise toh har insaan sochta hi hai, par kabhi kabhi zindagi mein kuch log ek cheez ko lekar kaafi zyada sochne lagte hain, aur itna hi nahi, ek bahut lambe arse se usi cheez ke baare mein sochte aa rahe hote hain.

Kuch aisi insecurities hoti hain logon ko, jo unki progress ko slow kar deti hain, unka confidence kam kar deti hain. Unki khushiya kam ho jaati hain, woh khul ke zindagi jee nahi paate. Aisi kuch insecurities ke baare mein baat karenge aur samjhenge ki aisi insecurities ko kaise kam kiya ja sakta hai, kaise unke baare mein overthinking karne se khud ko roka ja sakta hai.

Har insaan mein koi na koi kami hoti hai. Koi bhi shaqs perfect paida nahi hota. Kuch kamiya humein pata chal jaati hain toh kuch pata nahi chal pati. Kuch humein kabhi-kabhi pareshan karti hain, toh kuch har din humare saath rehti hain aur humein unki wajah se kayi baar sharminda hona padta hai. Jo confidence ki kami hai, usi ki wajah se hum sharminda hote hain.

Jis din hum apni kamiyon ko accept kar lenge ya unhein apni taakat bana lenge, us din se humare dil ka ek bahut bhari bojh hat jayega, hamesha ke liye.

Apne Looks Ko Lekar Insecure Hona

Kuch logon ki aadat hoti hai ki jab bhi apne aap ko aaine mein dekhte hain, apne chehre ko dekhte hain, toh unhein aisa mehsoos hota hai jaise woh kitne badsurat hain, ya zyada sundar nahi hain, jaise bhagwan ne unke saath zyadti ki hai unhein baakiyo se dikhne mein behtar na banake. Kisi ke chehre par pimples hote hain toh woh unhein lekar pareshan rehte hain. Kisi ka rang saawla hota hai toh woh usey lekar koste hain bhagwaan ko. Koi patla hai toh woh pareshan hai; kisi ka weight bahut zyada hai toh woh usey lekar pareshan hai.

Apne looks ko kisi aur ke saath compare karna ek bahut aam dikkat hai. Chahe woh ladka ho ya ladki, har shaqs ke mann mein ye sawaal aata hi hai ki kaash wo aur bhi zyada sundar hota. Kisi ka chehra theek hota hai toh usey lagta hai ki uske baal theek nahi hai; kisi ko lagta hai unki naak tedhi hai to kisi ko lagta hai unki aankhen choti hain.

Kisi ko apni height ko lekar pareshani hoti hai—koi thoda zyada lamba hai toh woh sharminda hota hai, toh koi choti height ka hai toh wo bhi bahut sharmindagi mehsoos karta hai. Aur dikkat sirf logon ki nahi hai, society bhi aise logon ko alag-alag naamon se chidhati hai, toh woh apne aap sharminda ho jaate hain.

Kisi ko apne body parts ke size ko leke kahin na kahin sharmindagi mehsoos hoti hai, aur unka confidence low ho jaata hai. Har koi yeh sochta hai ki kaash main perfect hota, kaash mere looks mein kisi cheez ki koi kami nahi hoti.

Agar aapko yeh sab mehsoos hota hai toh fikar karne ki zarurat nahi hai. Bhagwan ka banaya hua koi bhi insaan badsurat nahi hota. Har insaan khubsurat hota hai, aur kisi ki bhi khubsurti uske chehre ya shareer ki banawat se nahi batayi ja sakti. Log khubsurat hote hain apne mann se, apni achchi aadaton se, apni soch se, apne achche bartaav se, apne nature se aur apni baaton se.

Agar kisi cheez ki kami hogi aap mein toh woh yahi cheezein hongi, aur agar aapko lagta hai ki aap mein ye saari qualities hain, toh aap apne aap mein hi sabse zyada khubsurat insaan hain.

Shareer ki banawat ko dekh ke agar aapko koi judge kar raha hai, koi aap se door ja raha hai, koi aapko badsurat keh raha hai, toh badsurat aap nahi badsurat us insaan ki soch hai, uska nazariya hai. Usey sahi insaan ki parakh hi nahi hai.

Aise log jo doosron ko badsurat kehte hain ya mehsoos karate hain, zarurat unhein hai apni soch par kaam karne ki. Aap apni jagah sahi hain. Kabhi apne aap ko badsurat mat samajhna, bhale hi aapko koi khubsurat mehsus karaye ya na karaye, par aapko khud yeh yakeen hona hai ki aap khubsurat ho.

Doosron ka intezaar mat kariye ki jab woh aake aapki taareefein karenge tab aap kuch mehsoos karenge. Yeh baat yaad rakhiyega ki doosron ki taareefon se aapki khubsurti nahi batayi ja sakti, doosre apni baaton se palat jaate hain jab bhi unka mann bhar jaata hai, ya ek time ke baad unka opinion change ho sakta hai, par aapka khud dilaya hua yakeen kabhi nahi tootega.

Agar aapko lagta hai ki aapka weight zyada hai aur aapko sab bhadde naam se chidate hain, aapko samaaj mein neecha dikhane ki koshish karte hain, tab bhi aapko doosron ki baaton ko mind nahi karna hai. Yeh duniya aise logon se bhari hui hai jo doosron ko neecha dikhane ki koshish karte hain, unki body ka mazaak banate hain, unke baare mein cheap baatein karte hain. Aapko unki baaton par dhyaan nahi dena hai, aise log jo aapko motivate na kar ke demotivate karte hain, jo log aapko aage badhane ki jagah peeche dhakelte hain, aapko un logon ke na aas paas rehna hai, na hi unse kisi bhi tarah ka connection banana hai, aur na hi koi rishta rakhna hai. Un logon ki kharab soch se aapka confidence lose ho raha hai, aur kuch nahi.

Apni banawat se pyaar karo, chahe jaisi marzi ho, woh aap hi ho, aur agar aapko lagta hai ki aapko issey better shape mein lana hai khud ko toh zaroor lao, lekin doosron ke liye nahi, sirf aur sirf apne liye. Jo log doosron ko khush karne ke liye cheezein karte hain, woh aksar nirash ho hi jaate hain jab unhein doosron se burai milti hai.

Ek baat yaad rakhna—jo log khud se pyaar karna shuru kar dete hain ek baar, unke baare mein duniya kitna hi bakwas baatein kyun na kar le, un baaton ko wo kabhi apne dil pe lagne nahi dete, aur na hi kabhi apne aap se nafrat karna shuru karte hain. Chahe weight lose karna ho ya gain, jo karna hai apne liye karo, aakhir mein woh cheez aapko satisfy karna chahiye, na ki kisi aur ko.

Baat Karne Mein Confidence Ki Kami

Kya aap ek aise shaqs hai jiske andar logon se baat karne ka confidence nahi hai? Aap jab bhi kisi se baat karne ke baare mein sochte ho, aankhon mein aankhein daal ke, ya aapko kisi se baat karni padh jaaye, toh aap ghabra jaate ho, aapko samajh nahi aata ki aap kya karenge, kaise unka saamna karengen, unse baat karenge? Agar samne wale shaqs ko bura laga toh? Agar samne wale shaqs ko main pasand nahi aaya toh? Woh mann hi mann mujhe bewakoof samajhne laga toh? Kya aapke mann mein aise hazaar sawaal chalne lagte hain?

Dekho, zindagi mein koi bhi darr ho, woh darr chahe logon se confidently baat na kar paane ka ho, oonchai (heights) ka ho, paani ka ho, public speaking ka ho, stage ka ho ya kuch bhi ho, woh nikalta tab hi hai jab aap us darr ka samna karte ho.

Pehli koshish bhale hi itni shandaar na ho, lekin jab aap us cheez ki practice karte ho, toh ek din aisa zaroor aata hai jab aap us cheez mein maahir ho jaate ho, us darr ko apne dil se puri tarah nikaal dete ho. Aur jab aap peeche mud ke dekhte ho toh haste ho ki Kaise hua karte the hum? Jis cheez se darte the, aaj usey jeene lage ho, uske sang chalne lage ho.

Wo kahawat hai na English mein, ‘Practice makes perfect’–bas wahi, practice karne se har darr khatam ho jaata hai, aap aankhon mein aankhein daal ke baat bhi kar payenge, aur kisi tarah ki koi ghabrahat bhi nahi hogi.

Agar confidently bolne mein dikkat hoti hai, toh uska ek bemisaal tareeka yahi hai ki roz apne aapko aaine ke samne khada kar ke baat karo, kisi bhi baare mein, koi bhi ek topic apni pasand ka utha lo aur phir us par kuch bolo. Dekhna, dheere-dheere aap ke speaking skills improve ho jayenge.

Agar aapko kisi se baat karne mein confidence feel nahi hota, ghabrahat feel hoti hai ki kahin kuch galat na nikal jaaye, ya aap samne wale ki aankhon mein aankhein daal ke baat nahi kar paate ho, toh chinta ki koi baat nahi hai. Yeh kuch baatein hain jinhein achhe se samajh lo, aur dheere-dheere implement karna shuru karo apni life mein. Aapko khud badlaav dikhega.

Sabse pehli aur zaroori cheez yahi hoti hai ki aapko apni kamiyo ko accept karna hoga. Unse ladogey, darogey, pareshan ho jaogey, toh aapka confidence lose hoga. Isse behtar hai ki aap unhein accept karo. Apni kamiyo se bhago mat, unka saamna karo.

Jab bhi kisi se baat karo, araam se baat karo, jaldbaazi mat karo ki achanak se jawaab dena hai, soch samajh ke araam-araam se baat karo, dhyaan se suno bhi samne wale ko, woh kya keh raha hai, kahin aisa na ho ki sirf aap hi bol rahe ho aur samne wale ko mauka hi nahi de rahe ho.

Conversation ke dauran mann hi mann mein khud se baatein mat karo. Aksar jo log apne mann mein baatein kar rahe hote hain, woh kahin kho jaate hain, achhe se baat nahi kar paate, aur sun nahin paate samne wale ki baat. Bhatka hua dhyaan bhi humara confidence low karta hai.

Yeh mat socho ki woh kya sochega aapke jawaab ke baare mein, ya aapke baare mein. Yeh khayaal bhi humare jawaab aur jawaab dene ke tareeke ko kaafi bigaad deta hai. Doosra kuch bhi soche, jo judgement dena chahta hai de, aapko apni baat kehni hai aur achhe se kehni hai.

Apne mann mein kisi bhi baat ka darr mat rakho unse baat karte waqt, na hi kuch banawati baatein karo kisi bhi subject ya kisi ke baare mein. Jo hai sahi aur sach hai wo batao. Jhooth bolne wale log aur banawati baatein karne wale log aksar apni hi baaton mein ulajh jaate hain jab samne wala chaar sawaal kar leta hai unse.

Baat karne ki practice karo. Kisi kareebi se, kisi apne se face-to-face baat kiya karo, aankhon mein dekh kar baat karne ki koshish karo, shuruwaat chahe toh ghar ke kisi member se karo. Koi bhi darr tab hi khatam hota hai jab wo kaam hum karna shuru karte hain. Jab bhi hum kabhi kabhi ya na ke barabar baat karte hain, toh humara confidence low ho jaata hai.

English Mein Baat Karne Mein Low Confidence

Kuch logon ko English mein confidently baat karne mein dikkat hoti hai. Kayi log us insaan se attract hote hain, usey samajhdar samajhte hain, jo English confidently bol paata hai. Society bhi usey hi padha-likha aur hoshiyaar samajhti hai jisey achchi English bolni aur likhni aati hai.

English bolne se pehle English seekhni zaroori hai. Ho sakta hai aapko achche se English aati hai, aap likh lete hain, par aap sirf bolne mein ghabrate hain. Hum mein se kayi log aise schools, societies mein pale-badhe hote hain jahan aapas mein English mein baat karne ka koi culture nahi hai, isi wajah se humein bade hone ke baad bhi dikkat hoti hai. Isko theek karne ke liye wahi karna hai jo aap confidently bolne ke liye karte hain.

Apne aap se aaine mein baat kariye English mein, jitna zyada ho sake English books, blogs, articles, newspapers padhiye, aise logon ke saath baat kariye jo English mein hi baat karte hain, English movies dekhiye, English channels dekhiye TV par, English news suniye. Aajkal aise kayi apps bhi aa gayi hain jinse English-speaking improve kar sakte hain aap, aur kayi saare English-speaking courses bhi hote hain.

Apne aapko jitna is language se gher lenge, utna aap seekhenge, jitna seekhenge utna confidence badhega, jitna confidence badhega, utna achhe se English bol payenge, aur ek din aadat aisi pad jayegi ki aap English mein bhi aise baat karenge jaise aap Hindi mein baat karte hain.

Agar aap ke paas koi shaqs nahi hai jisse aap English mein interact kar sakte hain, toh aap kisi soft toy ka sahara le sakte hain. Aksar log apne favourite soft toys se baat karte hain kyunki woh unke saath comfortable feel karte hain.

Jinke saath aap comfortable ho, unke saath apne aap bolne ki himmat aa jaati hai. Ghar se niklo, thoda interact karo logon se, koshish karo ki jitni bhi baat ho English mein hi karo. Koi pehli baar mein hi bahut achchi English bolna shuru nahi kar deta, waqt lagta hai practice karte karte us jagah tak pahuchne mein jahan aap khud ko confidently English mein baat karta dekhte ho. Bahut galtiyan karte hain hum shuruwaat mein, par hum apni galtiyon se hi toh seekhte hain na.

Sach kahun toh main bhi ek samay mein English mein baat karne se ghabrata tha, mujhe lagta tha ki samne wala shaqs mera mazaak banayega, ya hasne lagega, ya beizzati karega. Par kabhi bolna band nahi kiya, jab bhi mauka milta tha main English mein baat karta tha, chahe woh school ho, ya college, office ho ya day-to-day life, main English mein baat karta tha jissey mera confidence badha aur aaj main bahut confidently baat kar leta hoon.

Har cheez mein waqt lagta hai, kuch seekhne mein bhi waqt lagta hai, kisi aadat ko banne mein bhi waqt lagta hai. Aapko khud ko woh waqt dena hoga us cheez mein dhalne ke liye, kuch naya seekhne ke liye. Patience rakh ke aap kaafi kuch haasil karne ke kaabil ho jaate ho, kyunki jisey jo mila hai, patience se mila hai. Mehnat toh sabhi karte hain, lekin patience sab nahi rakh paate aur give up kar dete hain, isliye patience rakhna bahut zaroori hai.

Log Humare Baare Mein Kya Sochte Hain?

Aksar hum overthinking is cheez par bhi karte hain ki log humare baare mein kya sochte hain, ya kya sochenge. Log humare baare mein kis tarah ke khayal rakhte hain, kaisi image hai humari unke mann mein, log humein pasand karenge ya nahi, log humse door kyun hote hain, log humein akela kyun chhod dete hain. ‘Log’ hai hi aisi cheez jisne humari zindagi aadhi se zyada abaad aur barbaad, dono kar rakhi hai.

Achcha-bhala insaan overthinking karne lagta hai logon ki kisi cheez ko lekar, chahe woh pasand ho, na pasand ho, ya kuch bhi. Sabse pehle to humein yeh baat samajh leni chahiye ki doosre logon ki apni zindagi hai aur aapki apni. Doosre logon ki alag soch hai aur aapki alag. Doosre logon ke alag khayal hain aur aapke alag.

Woh apne dimaag mein kuch bhi soch rahe hain, yeh unka kaam hai, unhein karne do. Aap mat socho ki woh kya sochte hain, aap mat socho ki aapki image kaisi hai. Jisko jo samajhna hoga woh samjhega, jise jo kehna hoga wo kahega, jise jo sochna hoga wo sochega, yahan har kisi ka apna nazariya hai sochne ka, cheezein karne ka aur zindagi jeene ka.

Ek achcha insaan humein neeche nahi girayega, agar hum gir bhi gaye honge, toh humein zaroor uthayega, aur yahan har koi itna achcha nahi. Agar koi aapke baare mein bakwas karta bhi hai toh usey karne do—aap kis-kis ko rokoge? Yahan har koi ek-doosre ko girane mein aur khud ko uthane mein laga hua hai.

Khud ko pasand karo, doosron ki pasand-napasand se khud ko mat badlo. Agar koi aisa insaan hai jo aapko sirf uthta dekhna chahta hai, aur aaj tak har cheez mein support karta aaya hai, aur agar woh aap mein koi kami aisi nikaal raha hai jisey aap improve kar sakte ho, jo aap ka confidence boost karne mein help kar raha hai ya karega, toh woh ek exception mana ja sakta hai. Warna agar koi random insaan aapko kuch bol gaya, ya aap ke baare mein kuch ulta-seedha bol gaya, toh kabhi uski baaton par mind mat karna aur bilkul bhi react mat karna.

Log yeh sab sirf doosre logon ka confidence girane ke liye karte hain, taaki unhein peeche karke khud aage nikal sakein, koi unki baraabari na kar paaye, koi unse jeet na paaye. Yeh sab social media platforms pe zyada dekha jaata hai, jahan agar koi insaan apni picture ya talent post kar raha hai toh, log aake usey criticize karte hain, uska mazaak udate hain, chaar buri baatein bolte hain jissey kitni baar toh log itna self-doubt aur depression mein chale jaate hain ki suicide jaise step hi le lete hain.

Doosre na aapki zindagi jee sakte hain, aur na hi aap ke halaaton ka saamna kar sakte hain, isliye kabhi bhi doosron ke is tarah ke comments par serious mat hona. Agar woh kuch kahein toh tum kuch kehna mat, bas muskura dena ya ignore hi kar dena.

Kisi ko nahi pata aap ne apni ab tak ki zindagi kaise jee hai, aapki soch kaisi hai, aap ke khayal kaise hain, aap ke sapne kaise hain, koi aapke baare mein itna nahi janta jitna aap khud jaante hain. Toh aapko kisi ki bhi baaton ka bura nahi maan na, anjaan insaan kuch bhi kare, humein in sab cheezon se koi fark nahi padna chahiye.

Agar koi apna bhi aap ke baare mein galat soch raha hai, toh sochne do. Uske paas dimaag hai upar wale ki blessings se, toh woh usko inhi sab cheezon mein waste kar raha hai, lekin aap ko yeh nahi karna hai. Aapko apna waqt nahi zaaya karna yeh sochne mein ki, log aap ke baare mein kya sochte hain.

Jitna kam affect hone dogey khud ko in sab cheezon se, utna achcha hoga aap ke liye. Bas ek mindset banane ki zaroorat hoti hai, jab yeh mindset ban jayega, toh sab kuch theek ho jayega. Yeh humara dimaag hi hota hai jo itna sochta rehta hai, jisme aise ajeeb-o-gareeb khayaal aate rehte hain.

Aap ko insey ladai nahi ladni hai, sirf inke jawaab dhundne hain. Har sawaal ka ek jawaab banana shuru kar do, har negative thought ke saath mein ek positive reply dena shuru kar do.

Dekhna, aapki soch bhi badal jayegi, aapka nazariya bhi badal jayega har cheez ko dekhne ka, har kaam ko karne ka. Ab overthinking karna band karo in sab cheezon ke baare mein aur ek gehri lambi saans lo, aur dheere dheere saans chhod kar saari negativity release kar do.

Beeti Hui Kisi Baat Ko Lekar Overthinking Karna

Kabhi kabhi past mein hum kuch aisi baatein chhod ke aa jaate hain, ya kuch aisa kar ke aage badh aate hain ki jab-jab hum peeche mudke dekhte hain, humein pachhtava hota hai. Agar humne kuch kiya tha toh hum khud ko koste hain, aur agar kisi aur ne kuch kiya tha toh bhi hum pachhtate hain ki aisa kyun hua? Kyunki, kabhi-kabhi life mein kuch aise incidents ho jaate hain jinka hum par bahut gehra asar padta hai aur kayi barson tak hum us cheez se bahar nahi nikal paatein hain.

Kabhi kisi ki kahin gayi koi baat, ya humne kisi ko kuch keh diya, ya phir humne kisi ke saath kuch galat kiya ya humare saath kisi ne kuch galat kiya. In sab baaton mein hum is tarah ulajhte hain ki jab-jab wo baat yaad aati hai, hum ek alag hi zone mein chale jaate hain aur ussey bahar nikalna bilkul namumkin sa lagne lagta hai.

Agar aap bhi beeti hui kisi baat ya kisi haadse ko bhula nahi pa rahe hain aur har roz koshish karte hain us cheez ko bhulane ki, toh meri kuch baatein dhyaan se sunna, samajhna, aur unhein amal karne ke liye khud ko waqt dena.

Dekho, sabse pehli cheez, ateet ek aisi jagah hai jahan kabhi jaaya nahi jaa sakta. Agar aapne kisi ke saath galat kiya hai aur aapne ussey abhi tak maafi nahi maangi, toh aap maafi maang sakte hain. Issey koi fark nahi padta ki woh shaqs aapke baare mein kya sochta hai, ya kya sochega, ya kitna samay beet chuka hai is baat ko, aap ussey maafi maang kar apne pachhtaave ko khatam kar sakte hain, aur aisa karne mein aapko zara si bhi hichkichahat nahi honi chahiye.

Himmat jutaiye aur kisi tarah unhein contact kar ke unse maafi maangiye, phir chahe reaction kaisa bhi ho unka, aapko matlab sirf maafi mangne tak rakhna hai, is baat ko zyada aage mat badhana. Aur yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki us insaan ko achha mehsus ho ki aapko apni galti ka ehsaas hua, bhale hi der se, par hua zaroor.

Agar situation aisi hai ki maafi maangne ke liye woh insaan hai nahi ab ya us tak aap pahuch nahi sakte, toh aapko apne aapko is cheez ke liye samjhana hoga ki beeti hui baaton ka bojh lekar hum humesha nahi chal sakte. Galtiyan har insaan se hoti hain, kaisi bhi galti ho sakti hai, buri, thodi buri, ya bahut buri.

Bas achchi baat yeh hai ki aapko ehsaas ho raha hai aapne galat kiya, aur aisi situations mein galat ko sahi karne ka tarika sirf itna hota hai ki aisi galat cheez aap dobara kabhi kisi ke saath na karein, aur maafi mangey bhagwan se uske liye jo bhi aapne kiya.

Logon tak pahuchne ka zariya bhagwan bhi hai, toh agar bhagwan se dil se maafi maangoge toh zaroor aapki maafi qabool hogi. Is baat ke baare mein ab itna mat socho, beeti hui baaton ko lekar mat chalo, apni galti ka ehsaas karo aur zindagi mein aage badho.

Agar aapko lagta hai ki aapki wajah se kisi ka nuksaan ho gaya ya kisi ko chot pahuch gayi, ho sakta hai haqeeqat mein aisa nahi hua tha. Aksar is tarah ki situations bhi aati hain logon ki zindagi mein jab unhein aisa lagta hai ki unki wajah se kuch galat ho gaya tha aur unhein pachhtawa hota rehta hai us cheez ka ki agar samay par us cheez ko hone se rok dete toh kuch galat nahi hota.

Yahan main bas ek choti si cheez samjhana chahta hoon aapko. Dekho, hum mein kisi ne bhi apna future nahi dekha hai, kisi ko nahi pata uska aane wala kal usko kya din dikhayega ya kya lekar aayega uske liye. Woh kitna achcha hoga aur kitna bura, kisi ko nahi pata, kab humari jaan jana likha hai aur kab humari zindagi mein kuch bahut khubsoorat hona likha hai, kuch bhi nahi pata.

Agar aise mein aapko lagta hai ki aapki wajah se kisi ke saath galat ho gaya hai, toh woh us shaqs ki qismat hai. Aap kabhi kisi cheez ko hone se nahi rok sakte. Jo nuksaan likha hai woh hoga, aur jo ruk jaata hai, uska rukna humare naseeb mein likha hota hai, isliye woh ruk bhi jaata hai. Aapko samajhna yeh zaroori hai ki aap apne upar ilzaam nahi le sakte aise kisi bhi haadse ka jo aapko lagta hai ki aapki wajah se galat ho gaya tha, aur haqeeqat mein cheezein aapke kaabu se bahar thi.

Jo hua, jiske saath hua, woh uski qismat mein tha, aur humara zor qismat par nahi chalta. Jo humare naseeb mein hai woh humari thaali mein parosa jayega, chahe humein achcha lage ya bura, sahi lage ya galat. Isliye, apne upar ilzaam lagana band karo aur is baat ko accept karo ki jo hua woh uski aur aapki qismat mein likha tha.

Main samajh sakta hoon ki woh haadsa aapke liye kaafi disturbing raha hai, lekin zindagi mein hum ek haadse ko lekar puri zindagi baithe nahi reh sakte, sirf usi ke baare mein nahi soch sakte, sirf usi ke aas paas nahi ghoom sakte.

Agar aapko aisa lagta hai ki aapse apne past mein kaafi galtiyan hui hain, jinka aapko aaj bhi pachhtawa hai, koi situation jo aap sambhal sakte the, par kisi wajah se nahi sambhal paye aur yeh blame aap aaj bhi khud ko karte hain, toh aisi situation mein bhi main ek hi cheez kahunga, pichli baaton ke pachhtave ka bojh lekar mat chalo, shayad tum nasamajh the us waqt, tum mein itni samajh nahi thi ki tum aisi situation ko handle kar sako.

Insaan apni galtiyon se hi seekhta hai. Agar galti hi nahi karoge toh seekhoge kaise? Pata kaise chalega ki kitna savdhaan rehna hai is cheez ke liye humein ab? Zaahir si baat hai, hum galtiyan karte hain aur phir seekhte hain, taaki woh galti hum dobara na kar sakein. Koi bhi perfect nahi hota is duniya mein, sab galtiyan karte hain aur unse seekhte hain.

Waqt lo accept karne ke liye, waqt lo issey aage badhne ke liye. Main samajhta hoon ki raaton-raat kuch nahi badal jaata, samay lagta hai, lekin ab tak aap is nazariye se shayad dekh hi nahi pa rahe the is situation ko. Aapke mann mein pachhtawa tha, aap ilzaam laga rahe the khud par, shayad isi wajah se aap aaj tak yahan fase rahe. Par ab aur nahi, ab aapko yahan se nikalna hai, kyunki sirf is baat se aap bahut si cheezon mein aage badh nahi pa rahe ho, grow nahi kar pa rahe ho, aur aapki personal, professional, har life mein dikkatein aa rahi hain.

Zyada overthinking mat karo in sab cheezon ko lekar, khaas taur se apne past se related kisi cheez ko lekar. Past toh beet gaya, jo bacha hai woh present hai aur phir future. Ab future ko achcha karne ke liye aapko apne present mein mehnat toh karni hi hogi, taaki aane wala kal khubsurat ho.

Sochna band nahi kiya ja sakta hai, lekin life mein kuch cheezon ko accept karte chalo toh un cheezon se dhyaan hatna bhi shuru ho jaata hai. Isliye accept karo us baat ko, us haadse ko, us situation ko, aur uski positive side bhi dekho. Dekhna, dheere dheere is cheez se bahar aa jaoge aur overthinking apne aap khatam ho jayegi.

Sexual Harassment ya Eveteasing

Bahut si ladkiyon ke saath bachpan se hi aisi cheezein ho rahi hoti hain jinka un par bahut gehra asar pad jaata hai. Main baat kar raha hoon sexual harassment ya eveteasing ki. Sexual harassment ka definition hai: ‘Behaviour characterized by the making of unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks or physical advances in a workplace or other professional or social situation’. Yaani ki jab ek ladki ko koi shaqs kisi galat niyat se chhune ki koshish karta hai, ya uske saath chhed-chhad karne ki koshish karta hai, uske body parts ko touch karta hai bagair uski permission ke, uske baare mein publicly ganda bolta hai, koi comment pass kar deta hai.

Yeh sirf publicly nahi hota, yeh personally ek band kamre mein bhi ho sakta hai, ya internet par bhi ho sakta hai. Yeh kahin par bhi, aur kisi bhi ladki ke saath ho sakta hai. Sexual harassment aksar bahut gehra asar kar jaata hai ek ladki ke dil aur dimaag par, jiski wajah se woh overthinking karna shuru kar deti hai.

Bachpan se hi kayi ladkiyan sirf anjaan logon se hi nahi, balki kuch apnon se bhi in sab cheezon ko face karti hain, experience karti hain. Jaise ki kisi cousin ne uske saath harassment kiya ho, ya kisi relative ne uske saath bahut badtameezi ya sexual harassment kiya ho, jiska asar ek ladki ke upar saari umr bana rehta hai, woh kabhi bhul nahi paati hai woh sab cheezein.

Bachpan toh ek aisa phase hota hai jisme logon mein maturity nahi hoti, par kayi baar bachpan guzar jaane ke baad bhi bahut si ladkiyan yeh sab face karti hain apne family members se, apne relatives se, apne cousins se, apne colleagues se, apne friends se, ya phir kisi anjaan shaqs se.

Dekho, bachpan mein jo bhi hua, usey yaad rakh ke ya uske baare mein soch-soch ke pareshan hone se kuch haasil nahi hoga, kyunki bachpan mein wapas jaa kar kisi bhi cheez ko badla nahi ja sakta. Toh agar bachpan ke kisi incident ke baare mein soch-soch ke aap pareshan ho rahe hain toh apne aapko thoda samjhaiye. Main samajh sakta hoon ki aap unwanted touch kabhi bhulte nahi, par sach toh yeh hai ki aapko bhulna nahi hai kuch, aapko un beeti baaton ko accept karna hai aur apni zindagi mein aagey badhna hai.

Beeti baaton ka bojh lekar chalne se siwaye hum pareshan hone ke aur kuch nahi hote. Isliye beeti baaton se aage badho, zindagi mein ek nayi shuruwaat karo, pichle panno ko faad ke fek do aur ek naye panne se shuruwaat karo. Shuruwaat bhale hi der se ho, par hogi zaroor. Raftaar dheemi hone ka matlab yeh nahi hota ki aap aagey nahi badh rahe hain, aagey phir bhi badh rahe hain, bas thodi slow speed se.

Agar aapke saath bachpan mein nahi balki haal-filhaal mein kuch hua hai aur aap us cheez ko apne dimaag se nahi nikal pa rahi hain toh chinta karne ki koi baat nahi hai, main aapko zaroor madad karunga ki kaise aap us incident se apne aap ko bahar nikaal sakti hain.

Kyunki rooh kaanp jaane wali cheezein hoti hain yeh, kisi ka galat nigaah se dekhna, kisi ka galat niyat se humein chhu lena. Yeh sab jhelna aasaan nahi hota isliye ab jo main batane ja raha hoon usey dhyaan se samajhna aur puri shiddat se usey amal karne ki koshish karna, taaki jald se jald bahar aa sako is sab se.

Kisi se baat karo

Dekho, agar kisi ne aapke saath sexual harassment kiya hai, toh aap is baat ko apne mann mein mat rakho. Kisi na kisi se baat karo jis par aapko bharosa ho aur jissey lagta hai ki aap share karogey toh woh shaqs aapko judge nahi karega. Baat karna bahut zaroori hai, kyunki baat karne se aapke mann mein jitna bhi bojh hai, jitni aap overthinking kar rahe hain, woh sab aap bahar nikaal sakte hain.

Woh sab kuch kaho jo aapko afsos hai ki aap keh nahi paayi

Jo bhi hua us din, woh sab kuch explain karo kisi ko, kyunki yeh karna bahut zaroori hai. Ek yahi cheez hoti hai jo humare dimaag ko sabse zyada ashaant banati hai ki woh jo-jo hua, woh sab kuch aap apne andar rakh rahe hote ho. Aap woh sab kuch bahar nikalo, woh sab kuch batao kisi ko, woh sab batana bahut zaroori hai. Agar koi shaqs nahi hai, toh kahin likh kar usey bayaan karo, lekin usey apne dil se bahar zaroor nikalo.

Khud par ilzaam lagana band karo

Aapko zaroorat nahi hai khud par ilzaam lagane ki. Aap sochne lagte ho ki aapki wajah se ye hua hai kyunki, aksar log bhi humein hi blame karte hain ki humne yeh kiya is wajah se aisa hua, balki koi yeh nahi sochta ki jo bhi hai, karne wala hi galat hota hai, woh galat nahi hota jiske saath ho raha hai. Isliye khud se bhi aur kisi ke kehne par bhi khud par ilzaam mat lagana. Tumhari galti nahi hai, logon ki niyat hi kharab hai.

Accept karo jo bhi hua hai

Jo bhi hua hai, usey accept karna bahut zaroori hota hai, chahe kitna bhi mushkil kyun na ho. Sach toh yeh hai ki yeh badla nahi ja sakta jo ho gaya. Jab tak sachchai se door bhagoge, pareshaan hote rahoge, overthinking karte rahoge. Accept karo thande dimaag se aur apni zindagi mein aagey badhne ki koshish karo. Aisa kar ke tum is cheez ko aane ke liye allow nahi kar rahe ho, aisa kar ke tum apne aapko yeh samjhane ki koshish kar rahe ho ki, life mein jo hota hai accept karna padta hai, yakeen karna padta hai ki haan, yeh hua hai humare saath. Zindagi mein achhe aur bure, har tarah ke experiences se guzarna padta hai—yehi zindagi hai.

Apne experience se doosron ki madad karo

Tumhein pura haq hai bolne ka is baare mein, chahe kisi blog ke zariye ya kisi video ke zariye, logon tak apni awaaz pahuchao. Unhein apni kahani sunao aur unhein batao ki kaise-kaise tumne is sab ke saath deal kiya, kaise is sab se bahar nikli, aur tum kya advice dena chahti ho logon ko. Tumhare zariye kaafi ladkiyon ko bhi himmat mil sakti hai ki, kaise deal karein aisi situation se, kaise himmat dilayein khud ko.

Apne aap ko ek aur mauka do

Khud ko ek aur mauka dena zindagi mein aagey badhne ka, ek nayi shuruwaat karna, naye kaam ki shuruwaat karna, nayi hobbies, naye interest, kuch alag karna jo shayad socha ho par kiya nahi. Aksar aise incidents hone ke baad kaafi sehem jaate hain log, toh unhein waqt ko bhi thoda waqt dena padta hai, aur khud ko ek aur mauka dena hota hai, taaki beete hue kal ko accept kar ke aane wale kal ke liye khud ko prepare karein aur khub aagey badein. Zaroori hai aisa karna.

Umeed hai aapko zaroor himmat mili hogi is situation se deal karne ki. Khud ko kamzor mat samajhna aap, yeh mat sochna ki kitni bebas pad gayi, kitni lachar ho gayi, nahi! Aisa sochna galat hoga. Aap bahut himmatwali ho jo is sab se ladi aur khud ko bahar nikal pa rahi ho, aur ek din nikaal bhi logi. Bheegi billi nahi, sherni ho tum! Khud ko bilkul underestimate mat karo.